Is there a time, a point at which your
husband's advances, looks, comments,
touch....becomes somehow demeaning? When
does erotic become a turn-off?
Thanks!
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
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Posted: 03-05-08 12:36pm
For me, I haven't really experienced that,
unless I'm already angry with him about
something and I get pissed that he thinks
I'll have sex with him.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
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Thanked:46
Posted: 03-05-08 12:59pm
There are plenty of scenarios I could use
but why do you ask?it may help me in
answering your question a bit better.
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Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1426 Location: , Georgia USA
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Thanked:76
I agree Posted: 03-05-08 13:14pm
I have to agree with ~*~Melissa~*~, need a
littel more info.......I do agree also
with Georgia59....why is it some men think
SEX can fix everything? I could totally
understand being turned off with your
spouse, if in the past he had been
verbally or mentally abusive as words
hurt as much as a punch in the gut. Also,
once spoken, you can not take those words
back....so in time, it builds up and
instead of feeling adoration towards that
partner, you start to feel anger,
sometimes even hatrid....and the "erotic"
feeling no longer appears. You either
feel obligated, numb or turned slap off.
Now, if its not anyhting either of you
have done or said....maybe you can try to
remember what it was that turned you onto
him in hte first place......Its still
there, you just have to rekindle? It takes
two to keep romance and erotic feelings
alive!
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Btec
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Mar 2008 Posts: 9 Location: ,
Posted: 03-05-08 13:15pm
There's no rough or kinky stuff going on.
It just seems that my attention to her
beauty and my comments about her wonderful
physical assets (she is amazingly hot!)
make her feel uncomfortable (to put it
mildly). These comments are only between
she and I - it's not like I would embarass
her in public. I guess I'm just trying to
get into the female psyche and figure it
out....what I think would be a turn-on is
repulsive to her....maybe we are as
different as Venus & Mars.
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PrettyPT
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2008 Posts: 79 Location: , USA
Posted: 03-05-08 13:27pm
sometimes, my boyfriend and i play a
little rough... but it shouln't happen
most of the time... we just do it, to add
some spice and not to be too routinary and
boring...
he is really hot! and it's a turn on for
me to see and feel how hot he is for
me...but when he gets really really way
out of the line, im telling it to him, and
he will cool down a little bit.
i think, she should be on the mood for
anything different... because unless both
of you have the urge to do something
unusual, it wouldn't be succesful and one
might find it not okay... i think you
should communicate with her and you'll
even get it, if she is on it, just with
body language...
Last edited by PrettyPT on 03-05-08 14:45pm; edited 1 time in total
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Posted: 03-05-08 14:40pm
Too much physical attention can make her
feel like she's just an object. Why not
focus on her personality and mental assets
for a while? Maybe she wants you to love
her for being a PERSON, not a sex toy!
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Btec
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Mar 2008 Posts: 9 Location: ,
Posted: 03-05-08 14:46pm
Thanks, Eiri...I'll give it a shot. I
started to send her an email yesterday
that ended "I love you, I want you, I
can't wait to have you again." But after
the exchange we had yesterday afternoon, I
just trashed it - I know her response
would not have been what I desired. Funny
thing is....we've been married for more
than 30 years....I'm still learning!
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PrettyPT
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Feb 2008 Posts: 79 Location: , USA
Posted: 03-05-08 14:49pm
30 years... wow!
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Thanked:0
Posted: 03-05-08 14:58pm
You could have just ended it with "I love
you, can't wait to talk to you again!"
Then it's not a focus on her body, but her
mind.
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 03-05-08 15:12pm
Btec
wrote:
There's no rough or kinky
stuff going on. It just seems that my
attention to her beauty and my comments
about her wonderful physical assets (she
is amazingly hot!) make her feel
uncomfortable (to put it mildly). These
comments are only between she and I - it's
not like I would embarass her in public.
I guess I'm just trying to get into the
female psyche and figure it out....what I
think would be a turn-on is repulsive to
her....maybe we are as different as Venus
& Mars.
I've been in that
situation before, and I didn't like it
because I felt like he was only talking to
me/with me for my looks and not my
personality. *that* may be a turn off to
her.
Sorry if I copied anyone, I did't rea any
of the further posts.
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collegegirlie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Feb 2008 Posts: 49
Posted: 03-05-08 15:43pm
Sometimes.... well I know I do this...
When I have him at my finger tips. When he
wants sex ALL THE TIME, I know I can have
it whenever I want. So I don't need to
WANT it, its just there for me at my
liesure.
that plus
being together for a long time. Sometimes
things get repetitive. Or ruetine. Which
is boring and leaves you nothing to look
forward too.
And when it seems he is only wanting sex,
like there is nothing else he needs me
for, I don't feel loved.
Add those together and I don't want sex.
Try not talking about sex AT ALL. Holding
off will make her want it.
If she does something today that makes you
smile, e-mail her and and leave her a
comment about something she is good at
that you adore about her. She will get it
tomorrow and it'll make her feel really
good!
Make her feel loved, beautiful (inside),
and needed.
And next time you kiss her (let HER kiss
YOU), do something different and a little
special.
