My Husband Seems to Prefer Masterbation to Intercourse Posted: 07-11-07 14:05pm
I just feel unattractive and unloved. my
husband of 14 years has not been able to
have an orgasim during intercourse in quit
awhile so he ends up masterbating to do
so. Usually i am involved and arouse him
for orgasim, but now he is no longer
wanting to have any sex with me and i wake
up in the night to find him masterbateing.
Am i just being insecure or should i worry
my husband has no need for me anymore?
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 07-11-07 14:08pm
men are wierd
im sure hes just being a guy
dont feel bad hun
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Anne123
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Apr 2007 Posts: 290 Location: Canada
Posted: 07-11-07 14:26pm
Well I don't think that was very helpful.
Intercourse doesn't work for all men I
guess....
Try mixing things up. Get a book on
erotic massage and try massaging/stroking
him to orgasm. Have you tried performing
oral sex on him? Maybe try anal?
There are many ways you can bring him to
orgasm other than intercourse - and the
two of you can have fun doing it.
If offering him a little variety doesn't
work then speak (gently) about it with
him. Part of your sexual needs include
being the one to meet his sexual needs,
right? Maybe he doesn't get that. Maybe
he will be willing to see a sexual
therapist with you, if all else fails.
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4052 Location: Bliss,
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Re: My Husband Seems to Prefer Masterbation to Intercourse Posted: 07-11-07 14:36pm
angeloncall7
wrote:
I just feel unattractive and unloved. my
husband of 14 years has not been able to
have an orgasim during intercourse in quit
awhile so he ends up masterbating to do
so. Usually i am involved and arouse him
for orgasim, but now he is no longer
wanting to have any sex with me and i wake
up in the night to find him masterbateing.
Am i just being insecure or should i worry
my husband has no need for me
anymore?
Maybe he's got some underlying issue he's
not telling you about? Maybe he's got an
arousal issue or some kind of insecurity
issue or he feels like it's too much
trouble for you or something. Talk to
him!
Hopefully, your husband "needs" you for
more than just sex. I hope that's not
what you meant!
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Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 07-11-07 14:37pm
I agree with anne.You need to talk to him
about it too and tell him how your
feeling.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
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Re: My Husband Seems to Prefer Masterbation to Intercourse Posted: 07-11-07 14:50pm
angeloncall7
wrote:
I just feel unattractive and unloved. my
husband of 14 years has not been able to
have an orgasim during intercourse in quit
awhile so he ends up masterbating to do
so. Usually i am involved and arouse him
for orgasim, but now he is no longer
wanting to have any sex with me and i wake
up in the night to find him masterbateing.
Am i just being insecure or should i worry
my husband has no need for me
anymore?
I would talk to him. This is not normal
behavior, and he is not "just being a
man". I think there is an issue that needs
to be dealt with; and you're not going to
be able to start until you ask him.
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dawnie417
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 9 Location: ohio
Posted: 07-11-07 20:52pm
my husband does almost the same thing. We
have sex maybe 1 time a week, but he
masturbates almost every other night. He
waits until I am asleep. I have caught him
a few times and asked him about it. But he
never really answers me. It makes me feel
really insecure and unattractive too.
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dawnie417
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 9 Location: ohio
Posted: 07-11-07 20:58pm
my husband does almost the same thing. We
have sex maybe 1 time a week, but he
masturbates almost every other night. He
waits until I am asleep. I have caught him
a few times and asked him about it. But he
never really answers me. It makes me feel
really insecure and unattractive too.
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nickynickynicky
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 11
Posted: 07-11-07 22:33pm
Don't feel bad It is normal. Men often
get a "tighter" feeling with their
masturbation grip and they can move faster
back-and-forth than while in a woman.
This tighter, faster movement may be the
only way he can ejaculate. This effect
increases with the age of a man. They
often require a firmer, faster, longer
effort to attain ejaculation. He will
probably always appreciate you trying to
help him. Try playing with him and
masturbating him while asking him if he
would like you to do it faster or grip
firmer or hold it differently, etc. Don't
worry that he enjoys or needs
masturbation. Men are very preoccupied
with attaining ejaculation and can often
only act like normal people in their
everyday lives after having a regular
sexual release. It's not that he doesn't
like you.
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nickynickynicky
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 11
Posted: 07-11-07 22:39pm
Don't feel bad It is normal. Men often
get a "tighter" feeling with their
masturbation grip and they can move faster
back-and-forth than while in a woman.
This tighter, faster movement may be the
only way he can ejaculate. This effect
increases with the age of a man. They
often require a firmer, faster, longer
effort to attain ejaculation. He will
probably always appreciate you trying to
help him. Try playing with him and
masturbating him while asking him if he
would like you to do it faster or grip
firmer or hold it differently, etc. Don't
worry that he enjoys or needs
masturbation. Men are very preoccupied
with attaining ejaculation and can often
only act like normal people in their
everyday lives after having a regular
sexual release. It's not that he doesn't
like you.
