Hello i'm new here and i have been reading
some of the advice given to people going
through heart breaks but i feel my case is
somewhat different.
well i met my ex-about a year ago and i
never though i would fall in love with him
because he is so different from the men i
ever dated before,
anyway,
little by little i fell more and more in
love with him, we talked about our
futures, our aspirations and even
children! but he knew i couldn't have any
now because i am only 20 and still in
school. He's 26. Anyway 2-3 months ago i
noticed that was not spending as much time
with me and that he was always out working
or with friends. even during my spring
break i barely saw him. Even my mom said
that if someone loves you they find a way
to see you however tired they might be.
and you know for being blind and in love i
dismissed her comment that he might be
cheating on me, but boy was i wrong!!!
about 3 weeks he invited me to the movies
and the whole time i was a little mad at
him because he took awhile to pick me up.
anyway throughout the whole movie he tried
to kiss me and was holding me and putting
his arm around me i finally let me kiss me
and i know that he felt something because
he looked like he enjoyed it. Anyway
after the movie he said he needed to be
somewhere at 6pm, supposedly a guy party i
got mad again bu i was like whatever just
go. i told my mom and she knew something
was up and she was right. At about 2am
that night he called me to tell me he
didn't love me and that he needed to be
alone for awhile and that in time he might
want to get back with me. of course i was
devestated and hurt and confused with his
attitude i asked him why did he kiss me
and not tell me at the movies that he
wanted to break up, and he didn't answer.
anyway a week went by i was of course sad
and confused and i get a call from his
family and they tell me that he cheated on
me with some women they met last week at 6
pm and that she moved in 3 days after our
break-up, i just broke down on the phone,
he never seemed like the type of person
that would do that to me. they of course
didn't think he'd do that either and told
me to come up with something to get him
back, i was just in total shock the whole
conversation. i just ended up saying if
thats his decision will no one is forcing
gim to do it he did it himself. The thing
that really bugged me besides that fact
they already live together is that the
women has 2 kids that are not even his, i
mean what type of guy does that? i know i
should not blame the girl but obviously
she does not have good intentions, i mean
what type of women moves in with a guy she
barely knows???
i know i have my defects but why her why a
woman with 2 kids? and why did he not
tell me? why did i have to get lies from
him and his family told me? i ahte this
feeling!!!
i mean i know the women is using him and i
still love him want him to be happy but i
just know he is making a huge mistake.
After though, the following day after not
sleeping the whole night i wrote him a
letter and decided to stalk him in the
mourning before he went to work. i don't
know how i got the courage to do it but i
did, and i asked him why he did that to
me? he couldn't look me in the eye at all
i ahd to keep on asking him to look me
straight in the eye. he said that because
i took to long to get ready and that we
always fought. in my mind i was BS!!! i
mean just for that, our little pity fights
didn't even last a day we made up within
the hour always. He also said she treated
him better, but common they met at a club
and what woman with 2 kids and no baby's
daddy won't treat any guy nice? she
doesn't have much more opportunities
left!!!! but i think because i gained
weight throughout our relationship and
because i only see him on weekends because
i go to school he just had too much
liberty and used it against me.
all i wanna know is why he left me for a
women with 2 kids that aren't his and they
already moved in together, i don't think
thats right the only explanation i have is
that she might be pregnant, but supposedly
shes not, but i know that in time she will
be because she is that type of woman.
sorry for making it soooo long!!!!
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Re: Lost And Confused Posted: 07-12-07 14:09pm
janey45
wrote:
Hello i'm new here and i
have been reading some of the advice given
to people going through heart breaks but i
feel my case is somewhat different.
well i met my ex-about a year ago and i
never though i would fall in love with him
because he is so different from the men i
ever dated before,
anyway,
little by little i fell more and more in
love with him, we talked about our
futures, our aspirations and even
children! but he knew i couldn't have any
now because i am only 20 and still in
school. He's 26. Anyway 2-3 months ago i
noticed that was not spending as much time
with me and that he was always out working
or with friends. even during my spring
break i barely saw him. Even my mom said
that if someone loves you they find a way
to see you however tired they might be.
and you know for being blind and in love i
dismissed her comment that he might be
cheating on me, but boy was i wrong!!!
about 3 weeks he invited me to the movies
and the whole time i was a little mad at
him because he took awhile to pick me up.
anyway throughout the whole movie he tried
to kiss me and was holding me and putting
his arm around me i finally let me kiss me
and i know that he felt something because
he looked like he enjoyed it. Anyway
after the movie he said he needed to be
somewhere at 6pm, supposedly a guy party i
got mad again bu i was like whatever just
go. i told my mom and she knew something
was up and she was right. At about 2am
that night he called me to tell me he
didn't love me and that he needed to be
alone for awhile and that in time he might
want to get back with me. of course i was
devestated and hurt and confused with his
attitude i asked him why did he kiss me
and not tell me at the movies that he
wanted to break up, and he didn't answer.
anyway a week went by i was of course sad
and confused and i get a call from his
family and they tell me that he cheated on
me with some women they met last week at 6
pm and that she moved in 3 days after our
break-up, i just broke down on the phone,
he never seemed like the type of person
that would do that to me. they of course
didn't think he'd do that either and told
me to come up with something to get him
back, i was just in total shock the whole
conversation. i just ended up saying if
thats his decision will no one is forcing
gim to do it he did it himself. The thing
that really bugged me besides that fact
they already live together is that the
women has 2 kids that are not even his, i
mean what type of guy does that? i know i
should not blame the girl but obviously
she does not have good intentions, i mean
what type of women moves in with a guy she
barely knows???
i know i have my defects but why her why a
woman with 2 kids? and why did he not
tell me? why did i have to get lies from
him and his family told me? i ahte this
feeling!!!
i mean i know the women is using him and i
still love him want him to be happy but i
just know he is making a huge mistake.
After though, the following day after not
sleeping the whole night i wrote him a
letter and decided to stalk him in the
mourning before he went to work. i don't
know how i got the courage to do it but i
did, and i asked him why he did that to
me? he couldn't look me in the eye at all
i ahd to keep on asking him to look me
straight in the eye. he said that because
i took to long to get ready and that we
always fought. in my mind i was BS!!! i
mean just for that, our little pity fights
didn't even last a day we made up within
the hour always. He also said she treated
him better, but common they met at a club
and what woman with 2 kids and no baby's
daddy won't treat any guy nice? she
doesn't have much more opportunities
left!!!! but i think because i gained
weight throughout our relationship and
because i only see him on weekends because
i go to school he just had too much
liberty and used it against me.
all i wanna know is why he left me for a
women with 2 kids that aren't his and they
already moved in together, i don't think
thats right the only explanation i have is
that she might be pregnant, but supposedly
shes not, but i know that in time she will
be because she is that type of woman.
sorry for making it soooo
long!!!!
he left you because he's [please use
proper words on the forums.thank you]
lol sorry hun
your better than that jerk
he didnt even have enough balls to tell
you himself?!
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Re: Lost And Confused Posted: 07-13-07 10:27am
janey45
wrote:
i mean what type of women
moves in with a guy she barely knows???
how do you know that they
barely know each other?You aid yourslef
for about 3 months before it was over he
was always with his friends or workig?He
could have possibly met her back
then.Maybe since he didn't get to spend as
much tie with you he found someone else to
spend his time with.Anyhow,if he is like
that he isn't worth your time.You worry
about you and get yourself through school
and get an awesome job so that when you do
find mr perfect you can go for it all! If
he was not willing to wait for you,he is
not worth another thought in your mind!men
are confusing.He was probably afraid to
tell you so he didn't and waited til later
when he didn't have to look you in the
face.I'm sorry your going through this and
if you ever need to talk,pm me!
|
janey45
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 2
Still Confused Posted: 07-13-07 12:35pm
well he never wanted me to know about his
infidelity, i learned about it from his
family, i mean he didn't have the balls to
tell me!!! that really hurt but its better
that i know that, than live a lie!
anyway i'm getting mixed messages from the
family supposedly they know each other for
a month but when he told me he said a 4
months, that really hurt!!!!
anyway i still don't understand, there
being so many woman in the world he goes
after highly availables! i know he one as
well but common she has 2 kids, not his
and already moving in with a guy, what
type of mother exposes that to her
children???
anyway thanks for your advice!!!
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Re: Still Confused Posted: 07-13-07 12:41pm
janey45
wrote:
well he never wanted me to
know about his infidelity, i learned about
it from his family, i mean he didn't have
the balls to tell me!!! that really hurt
but its better that i know that, than live
a lie!
anyway i'm getting mixed messages from the
family supposedly they know each other for
a month but when he told me he said a 4
months, that really hurt!!!!
anyway i still don't understand, there
being so many woman in the world he goes
after highly availables! i know he one as
well but common she has 2 kids, not his
and already moving in with a guy, what
type of mother exposes that to her
children???
anyway thanks for your
advice!!!
well for one,maybe she
isn't a highly available. Maybe she is a
widow?aybe she is divorced?maybe her hubby
left her for another woman or hey,maybe
she is a highly available,but you don't
know that and its not fair for you to
bring your anger out on her. this is al
him.I know your upset but he is the one
who did this to you,not her. if it hadn't
of been her,who's to say it wouldn't have
been someone else?he is just a coward who
like i said,doesn't deserve for you to
give him the time of day.you'll find
someone dso great,that you will forget all
about him!
|
womaninpain
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 179
Posted: 07-19-07 13:16pm
Ok I read your original post and your
threads thereafter...
I have quite a few things to say...
First off I totally understand where you
are coming from...I have been there and
been cheated on.
Second I think that it is really crappy
for his family to call you and tell you
that stuff...if they had any sense they
would realize how much that would hurt you
and they would try to talk to him
themselves and make him realize what he
lost and go run for it, not have you go
run for him.
Third you DON'T know how long exactly it
has been, you don't know how fast the
relationship with them progressed. Just
because she is a mother with 2 children
does not make her horrible. There are many
single mothers out there for various
reasons, who should not be alone, they
deserve love...what I am saying is that
she is not the culprit and there is
nothing wrong with her because she has
children, you are saying these things as
if she had or was a disease. She is human.
You can't be mad at her unless she knew
about you and honestly it is my thought
that she had no idea and she thought he
was her prince charming.
Lastly you have to know that if he did it
to you with her than he will do it to her
with someone else. So sit back and wait
for it all to happen...or you never know
he might get hurt in it all..
You know, what goes around comes around,
and his day will come.
He is not worth your time or effort and
the last thing you should do right now is
show him how much he hurt your and how
much you care because he does not deserve
it at all. I know that it's hard and that
it hurts trust me I do, I went through 6
months of not eating or sleeping for the
same thing...but it passes in time for
some people it could be a week for some it
could be a month or a year you never know
but it will pass. You have to let it pass
and not let him see it. You will get
through it but you need to cut it off and
stay away, you are so young and you will
find someone who deserves you.
Also don't try and search for reasons for
why he did this to you. You will make
yourself feel worse. There are NO REASONS
why someone should do this to someone.
Gaining weight being not as pretty...these
are not reasons, it has nothing to do with
you and is not your fault at all so stop
blaming yourself and the things that you
have done or the way you are, it's him and
don't allow him to blame you any longer
either because if he were a real man he
would have left you and then started a new
relationship.
