Cursing to Your Kids...

i won't swear at my children, yikes!
and i don't know why parents do it, i don't think it makes them bad parents but... i dont know

i know what you mean. i was at home depot today and there were a couple there with their little girl and the little girl was chattering away, pointing at things and talking to her parents. she wasn't misbehaving at all, just being curious and talking a lot but her dad kept telling her to shut up and stand still and stay out of the way. i felt so sorry for her, she was only about 4 or 5. the mom was completely ignoring her and the dad just acted like he couldn't stand her. yet she was just being a normal kid. why do people have kids if they don't like the way kids are? oh yeah, and when i was walking in there was another couple with 2 or 3 kids with them and the kids went running into the store ahead of them. the dad was yelling at them to wait and he turns to me and says "are you sure you want one of these?". lol.

not to say that it's okay but i think people do it simply because they're frustrated. we catch a snippet of the situation and we say that the child isn't doing anything wrong but we haven't been with the family all day. we don't know what the parents have been through with that particular child all day long. maybe the boy that was supposed to help with the groceries never helps out around the house and the mother is fed up. who knows? i can't say that i'd never curse at my child. i don't know. i would hope that i wouldn't.

back to my original point, i think it's nothing more than frustration. i believe there are more constructive ways to deal with it but unfortunately people often lash out when feeling frustrated whether it's right or wrong to do.

that little girl was acting like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, which i find even sadder because they must talk to her like that all the time. it obviously isn't effective in making her be quiet either. it's probably just teaching her how to talk to someone disrespectfully.

but even as an adult, if someone treated me that way i would tell them where to go in no time flat. if i am just cheerfully chattering away to someone and they tell me to shut up and stay out of their way, that is so disrespectful, i wouldn't stand for it. i wouldn't let my kids talk to me or anyone that way so i wouldn't teach it to them by talking that way myself. as an adult you have the means to control your temper and what you say even when you get frustrated. rich and i have had plenty of arguments but we don't tell each other to shut up, ever and we don't swear at each other. think about it. would you let someone else curse at you and tell you to shut up?

The word fricken. I heard this word on a sitcom used by actors. Okay, so they're not using the "actual bad four letter word", but, for crying out loud, it signifys the same thing doesn't it?

I have told my children not to use that word, to me, it's just as bad as saying the actual what it stands for.

I have used the word, "flippin", when I was getting rid of certain frustration.

And that's where it all lies: Control! Controlling what we do, what we see, what we say, how we react.

Personally, I mumble a silent prayer when I want to scream certain verbage at my young adults. They look at me like I'm crazy, or putting a curse on them or something, he he. Or too, saying a little prayer for those people "freaking out" on their kids; that they may have some patience and remember what it was like when "they", were children.

I believe the "fricken" media, portrays a lot of bad vibes all around!

Have a great day!

yeah, it's strange how tv "regulates" all that stuff. i was watching canada's next top model (yes i am duly embarassed to admit this) and one of the girls said "payback's a b_-ch, b_-ch" and they let the first b word go and bleeped the second one. huh? lol. what's the difference??

that's one word we hear so much of on tv and yet they don't let people say s-it or a--hole. i don't get it.

those words don't offend me that much i just think there are times and places for them and coming from the mouths of children they just sound awful. i'll use them sometimes when i'm talking to people i know really well and whom i know won't be bothered by it, but not around strangers or aquaintances, just out of respect for them. personally, i am more offended by actual curses like taking god's name in vain.

i was watching flavor of love today (hahahaha)

they are the most disgusting, trashy, nasty, foul mouthed women ive ever come across. i hope to god my daughter doesn't act like this one day.

If I have children my home is going to be a safe, calm place... no swearing, no violence. One TV in the living room and maybe one in me and my husband's room for at night. The TV won't necessarily have channels restricted on it, but I'm going to know what my kids are watching. No more than 2 hours a day, too. Also, they'll have a choice between those 2 hours being TV or video games. Unlike most parents today, I'll actually know the games my kids play, and I won't let them get things rated M. I don't understand how stores can sell those games to kids! And parents are so clueless! I'm lucky I'm a gamer so I'll actually know about that kind of stuff.

Most of their entertainment is going to be good old toys and books. Oh, there will be one family computer (and probably a work computer for myself because I'm an illustrator/graphic designer, but that will be in my bedroom). I'll monitor the family computer too. Internet access will be restricted as well; not only will I watch what they're doing, but they only have 2 hours a day online. They can use the computer more for homework.

I sometimes slip up and swear around my children, but I insist on treating them with the same respect that I want to be treated, and with the same consideration I extend to others. I don't tend to swear at people-ever-except for occasionaly in traffic, (and those people obviously deserve it, right?? ). But I think that swearing at your kids or (worse yet) calling them names is awful. Particularly young children. It breaks my heart. My sister's neighbor walked out on her front porch and screamed "so-and-so, get your effin arse in here and clean up this G.D mess!" I was horrified, and it made her look like an awful person.

oh geez. the neighbours across the back lane are like that with their kids. they have 4 small boys and i don't think i've ever heard a kind word from that direction ever. all they do is scream at those kids and the kids don't listen anyway. the other day, the dad was locked out of the van by the 4 boys and he was screaming bloody m-rder at them and they were all laughing and taunting him from inside the van. i was scared of what was going to happen to them when he got them out of there. they always swear at them and call them names and say stuff like that, like "get the f--k in this f'n house right now!!" makes you wonder what they do behind closed doors if they will let the whole neighbourhood hear that.

Yeah, yeah!

I'm just trying to figure out if it's a cultural thing- as in, where I grew up, you just didn't do that, but now it's so commonplace that it's "okay" to do that to your kids.

I just don't think we can blame the media though. Is the media a reflection of society, or does it mold society?

Did you see parents cursing at their kids on tv first or out in public first?

Birch, you know, I think there has been a definite change in the way things are handled since I was a kid. Growing up I never ever ever talked back to adults. Not my parents, not my teachers, never. My parents never had t tell me this-it was something I knew to be wrong. I worked as a preschool teacher for several years and was astonished at what children say to adults. Now that my child is that age, I cannot believe some of the things i hear other children say to their parents and to the teachers! Where this comes from I do not know. Perhaps it is because children spend less and less time under the watchful eye of their parents. Maybe parents are too tired to discipline their children effectively. I really don't know why this is. My child does not do this. Of course we have no TV, but she still watches movies, so it's not like she's completely shut out of the cultural loop. I have always tried to treat her with respect and I don't talk down to her. Occassionally she gets a little too big for her britches and expects that she has more (I don't know the right word for it--power, maybe) to make decisioins within the family, but if I just gently let her know that htis is something that is not up for debate, that usually ends the conversation. I don't know if this sheds any light on the iscussion, but I can tell you, things are much different now.

my mom teaches elementary school where my niece attends grade 1. she went to see her at lunch one day and a little girl was in the classroom with her and she turned to my mom when she walked in the room and said "what the f-ck do you want?" just like that. her TA was standing right there too. of course nothing happened to the little girl. she is in foster care and they can't do anything with her. she bullied the kids in that class all year. she was throwing things at my niece one day. but apparently she's one of many children like that in that school and there is almost nothing they can do to help her. she is just so damaged from all the things she has been through at the age of 7. one time when we were in church and the kids had children's time at the front of the church(they were asking the kids what 'peace' is), Rachel, my niece, piped up and said she wanted everyone to pray for the little girl because she had been bullying her all year at school. Rachel said "she doesn't have any peace in her heart because she has no mom." nobody knew she was going to say that and it just made me cry. i don't know what my point is but i agree with sillyakchick (sorry your name slipped my mind). things seem to be worse nowadays than they were when i was a kid.

Oh my god talking back kids piss me off so much! I NEVER would have even dared do that as a kid... I know punishment would have been swift! I watch Super Nanny and my jaw just drops at how nasty these children are! I don't want to bring up the spanking debate, but a swift smack to the butt would certainly catch their attention, because you know they've never been hit before.

I was talking to my dad about that, and he said "Oh yeah. You cannot spank all the time, because then it becomes pointless. But once or twice a year, and you bet the child will remember the lesson!" With my brother, spanking didn't work, so other disciplinary methods had to be used. It worked great on me; I got the message. Again, I don't want to debate it, just bringing up my opinion on the matter. It would certainly get the back-talking child's attention.

Yes, I'll admit, physical violence does tend to get people's attention.