Diciplining Your Child - What Works For You?

this is off topic but it is soo cute i had to mention it. my mom took my sister and niece up north to my aunt's for a couple of weeks. my aunt has a little coffee shop and she is very overworked so they went to help her out for a while. they have been super busy because there are a bunch of construction crew men that come there every day for dinner. my niece is 7 years old and she was helping clear tables. one of the guys asked her if she worked there and she said (so serious) "yeah, my job is to pick up dishes and get tips". haha. the construction guys all think she's so funny. apparently she's been talking them up and providing some entertaining conversation. oh, and getting tips, lol.

Do any of you have problems with your significant other having a different parenting style then you? Jason has ways of disciplining and i have a totally different way. He likes to give spankings im against them in most instances unless eh does something like bite me then i smack his hand and tell him you dont bite people. Now that jasons gone i can do it my way but joseph doesnt listen to me like he does to jason but sometimes he knows when he does something bad and he will go int he corner himself and cry and when he is done whining and crying he comes out. But its hard to get him to stop doing bad things, i can say joseph stop ina normal voice he doesnt listen i can scream it still nothing. I remove him from the situation and he flips his lid and throws tantrums. sometimes he does it in public too like burger king yesterday he kept tryint to run out the door and id pick him up and hed scream and kick, its hard to leave the room when hes doing that and i have jordynne in her infant seat as well so i try and calm him down but it doesnt always work. trying to move him from the situation and provide something else to occupy him works alot of the time. Its just soooooo hard because he hardly listens to me at all when jason leaves and he has worse behavior when jason is gone as well. Im open for any ideas hes only 2 so he doesnt completely understand things like doing something like the red light green light thing though,.

My parents always done 3 things with us

1.) a weekly allowance that was split in 1/2 part of it for savings and part of it for "spending" just for being a kid

2.) Made us do chores that we would not get paid for. Putting our dish in the sink, picking up our toys, making sure the dog had water. small jobs.

3.) chores for extra money or rewards which the value of it went up as we aged too but that was only if they chose to do so. they would write down a list of "extra" chores that we could do by choice for extra cash at the end of the week. That started when we was about 5 or 6 years old and that was a really good thing for them to have done for us because it taught us 1.) it's ok to be a kid even when we have our bad days. 2.) taught us that every family member has their own things that must be done 3.) it also taught us that if we wanted something more then what they was already giving us that like them we had to earn our "extra" money.

Well personally i think the chart is a very good and positive method! My son is only 17 months old so we dont have to worry about disciplining yet but my cousin is 9 and he acts out alot, he said the other day when we brought up the same chart that they use at his school he said... "i dont care! put me on red! it wont stop me from being bad! you cant tell me what to do cuz i will do whatever i want!" sounds like a brat huh? well she is young enough that i think it will effect her more abd money? man! that is an even bigger insentive to be good!!! hahaha hope this helped!

That's the type of child where I personally feel one gentle spanking can do wonders. She doesn't feel like anyone is ever going to punish her in a way that's actually going to matter. She has nothing to fear.

I have a 9yr old step son and he knows if I have to tell him more than twice to stop doing something, I will spank his butt. I was spanked as a child and I find nothing wrong with it. It made me listen, especially when they would just threaten a spanking.

Children have to be shown the right way to act. I know Ava's only 15 months, but when she doesn't something inappropriate, instead of fussing, I'll show her the right way.
If she hits, bites, pulls my hair, dumps her food, etc. I tell her, "NO ____" very firmly, but not yelling or in a mean way, then I show her the right thing to do. I try to relate it to something she'll understand like when she hits me, I tell her, "NO hitting! Be soft like a menuw cat" b/c she knows she has to pet the cat softly. It works.
My sil smacked the hell out of her 1 year old the other day for something that the little girl didn't even realize was wrong. She didn't even show her the right way. How will kids ever learn?
It's the same with my 5/6 year olds. I have to show them the right way to do a lot of things, because they just don't know. Fussing all day will get me nowhere.

I was spanked as a child and find nothing wrong with it either. However, my parents used it only in very extreme cases, such as when I'd just defaced their wooden bed with a screwdriver, or my brother bit me, or one of us had just done something dangerous we'd been told many times not to do; or we were being absolute terrors, not listening, and were completely disrespecting our parents.

You're right as well: the child must already KNOW the behavior is bad. You can't punish someone, even a child, if they don't realise they are behaving badly!! You have to teach them biting is bad, and if they then go and bite someone else on purpose, then you punish them.

Secondly, smacking is an absolute no-no. Never strike a child on the head... Grab their arm for attention, or their shoulder, but never ever strike them in such a way...

When I was spanked (the one or two times it ever happened) it never left a permanent or long-term mark and I was not in pain for hours. And you read me right: I was only spanked once or twice my entire youth! THAT'S the kind of punishment it was: the one you avoided at all costs. You had to seriously mess up to get spanked.

I watch Super Nanny and shake my head in shock... some of those kids need a MAJOR spanking!!

Spanking does not work at all ages and really stops working at around ages 5 and 6. My parents didn't spank for "just anything". It was the ultimate punishment for the ultimate "crimes". Spanking doesn't work on every child, either. It worked great on me but not so well on my brother, so my parents had to find other ways to punish him.

If you have to resort to spanking more than once every few weeks (maybe even more than once a month!), I'd say it's probably not the right kind of punishment, or you as a parent are using it too often!! There may be behavioral issues with you or the child that need professional help, not spanking.

My mother spanked me on the bottom with a hair brush for wetting the bed while i was alseep.

I wet the bed until I was 6 for the same reason! I still get up many times a night, lol!

One of my nephews sleepwalked into our computer room one night and peed on my husband's chair. I was in there writing part of a chapter and I stood up and tried to stop him when I realized what he was doing, but it was too late. I didn't realize he was a sleepwalker until the next day when I told his parents what happened...lol. I thought something was strange about the blank way he looked at me when I said; "What are you doing?? You just peed on your uncle's chair!"

Of course I couldn't have hard feelings because he wasn't aware of what he was doing. The computer room was right next to the bathroom so he probably meant to go in there and confused the office chair with the toilet. We still get a laugh about it. If he had peed on ME I might not have been so forgiving.