I Can't Tell If He's Cheating On Me Or Not!! Posted: 07-19-07 17:07pm
My boyfriend and I dated four years, then
broke up for seven or eight months, and
now we've been back together since March.
We live 60 miles apart and I visit him on
the weekends. Our current relationship
has been better then our last (we lived
together for 3 1/2 years before) but some
things have happened that make me think
he's cheating on me. Or maybe I'm not
trusting and paranoid.
He has this girl for a friend and they
work together at a bar and hang out once
in a while. She doesn't seem like she's
interested in him and I've even asked her
if she ever did anything with my
boyfriend. She said she made out with him
once during the time he and I were broken
up, but that was it. It's weird because
she screws around with practically every
guy who goes in that bar (including ones
who have girlfriends or even married) so
why wouldn't she go for my boyfriend?
Anyway, then I was cleaning my boyfriend's
house last weekend (i'm such a good
girlfriend, aren't I?) and I was unpacking
some boxes to help him move in to his new
apartment and I found a bra that wasn't
mine (in fact, it was too small, which is
amazing). I stomped over to the bar right
away and asked my boyfriend. He claims
that he used to have hot tub parties when
he lived with his parents and that one of
the girls must have left it in his room;
this was before we even started dating
again. It sounds believeable and my
boyfriend is a total slob (he hadn't
cleaned his room once since I moved out of
his parents house) but I don't want to be
taken for a sad, gullible sack.
So then the next day was his friend's
wedding and everyone was drunk at the
reception and apparently I made out with
one of my boyfriend's firends and my
boyfriend found out about it. That's
pretty out of character for me, but I have
to take everyone else's word for it. My
boyfriend wasn't even that mad but he
said, well now I get to make out with
whoever I want.
Besides that stuff, our relationship is
pretty good. We say we love each other
all the time and he hates to see me leave
on Sunday because we won't see eachother
again until Friday. We do talk every day
on the phone and there's nothing wrong
with our sex life. I just don't want to
be made a fool of. I mean, if he was
cheating on me, why wouldn't he just admit
it so I can stop wasting my time running
up to see him every weekend? Why wouldn't
he just go for the girl he's cheating on
me with? Sorry this was so long. What do
you think?
|
DPantelones
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2007 Posts: 141 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:1
Posted: 07-25-07 14:26pm
Well, having read that, I don't think it
sounds like he's cheating. I mean you
mention no clues about his behaviour being
suspicious or anything? The bra and the
co-worker he kissed once are not reasons
to suspect him of cheating.
You may have some insecurity issues, or
may not be a very trusting person, or you
may be looking for something to have over
him. You made out with someone while
drunk; do you still drink? I ask that
because if your answer is "yes, I still
drink" then maybe he should be the one
writing here. sorry to sound harsh, but
it's what I see....
|
Fairy Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1492 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 81
Thanked:116
Hi Posted: 07-25-07 14:35pm
So then the next day was his friend's
wedding and everyone was drunk at the
reception and apparently I made out with
one of my boyfriend's firends and my
boyfriend found out about it. That's
pretty out of character for me, but I have
to take everyone else's word for it. My
boyfriend wasn't even that mad but he
said, well now I get to make out with
whoever I want.
First, where was you "boyfriend" while you
were getting drunk and making out with his
friend???????? Next, why would he not get
mad? This tells me he kinda wanted this to
happen so he'd have a legit excuse to
"make out"with whomever he
chooses.....casue y o uowed him
one.......PLEASE..
Relationships are built on love and trust.
Just saying I love you is not
enough..........this long distance
relationship is already rocky, I am not
gonna be one to judge and say he's not
being faithful, but you asked for opinions
and this is mine.......I'd say you've had
4 years. Move on before you both really
hurt each other.......................
|
Honekaur
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 May 2006 Posts: 56
Posted: 07-25-07 17:04pm
My boyfriend was at the wedding party with
me, because it was his friend's wedding,
and I'm not sure where he was at that
point. Anyway, he was mad at me (but not
as mad as I felt he should have been.
Then again, I do have a few really close
friends as well and if he were to end up
making out with one of them one night I
would be mad but not too concerned) but I
told him if he thinks that it's a "free
ticket" to make out with someone else then
he's wrong and if he wants to so badly
then we shouldn't even be dating at all!
The only times I do drink are with my
boyfriend, actually, at the bar that he
works at on the weekends. He should have
absolutely no concern for me cheating on
him because I hardly hang out with anyone
in my home town and I do nothing but work
all week! It is a concern for me that he
drinks some week nights with God-knows-who
but I never have been a very trusting
person. I've been hurt in the past and I
find it hard to trust everyone, not just
my boyfriend.
He occasionally talks about marriage so I
certainly hope that he wouldn't be
cheating on me if he wants to marry me.
All of his relatives like me, and we
occasionally talk about "when" we're going
to have kids. I have a feeling that if
our relationship were to end at all (I
mean if I never found any real solid proof
that he was cheating on me) it would be
because I found a job in another state.
We never really discussed that too much
but I am looking into getting a new job as
soon as I can, hopefully in mine or his
hometown first.
|
ktlyn_nelson
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 2 Location: Grand Rapids, MI USA
Posted: 08-08-07 21:23pm
I guess if you cant tell if he is cheating
on you or not, he might not be! Unless you
have proof then its no big deal. I mean
unless you find him with another girl or
if you catch him doing some sketchy stuff
then dont freak. I have that problem too
when I really like a guy. You must really
like him alot.
