I have a few questions that are all sort
of interrelated.
First off, my boyfriend and I are in our
twenties and both virgins. I'm the firt
one he as gone the farthest with, but we
are both nervous about having sex. I'm
curious as to how I can make things easier
for him (he's worried about me seeing him
naked, cumming too soon, etc.) and for
myself. I really want to support him
during this (as he does with me).
Secondly, I have a lot period cramps that
are not related to my period or ovulation.
They are pretty sporadic and my gyno
thinks it might be endometriosis. Could
this cause more pain during sex for me
then? If so, is there anything I could
potentially do?
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R-I
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2007 Posts: 253
Posted: 07-20-07 22:47pm
My friend had endemetriosis, and i think
it did cause more pain during sex..... but
im not 100% sure.
Um, now about the sex thing, i think its
important to talk about it before it
happens, are you on Birth control right
now???? and also, he will be really quick
the first time because he wont be used to
it, and it will be painful for you to....
Just make sure you do a lot of foreplay to
ensure you are really well lubricated...
And about seeing eachother naked, give
eachother a lot of compliments on your
appearence to boost your confidence
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-20-07 23:07pm
Rachel-Isabel
wrote:
My friend had endemetriosis,
and i think it did cause more pain during
sex..... but im not 100% sure.
Um, now about the sex thing, i think its
important to talk about it before it
happens, are you on Birth control right
now???? and also, he will be really quick
the first time because he wont be used to
it, and it will be painful for you to....
Just make sure you do a lot of foreplay to
ensure you are really well lubricated...
And about seeing eachother naked, give
eachother a lot of compliments on your
appearence to boost your confidence
Just because it's his first time doesn't
mean he's going to blow his load fast.
Secondly, if sex is painful, she's doing
something wrong. My first time wasn't
painful at all.
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violiner
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 07-21-07 00:21am
Rachel-Isabel
wrote:
My friend had endemetriosis,
and i think it did cause more pain during
sex..... but im not 100% sure.
Um, now about the sex thing, i think its
important to talk about it before it
happens, are you on Birth control right
now???? and also, he will be really quick
the first time because he wont be used to
it, and it will be painful for you to....
Just make sure you do a lot of foreplay to
ensure you are really well lubricated...
And about seeing eachother naked, give
eachother a lot of compliments on your
appearence to boost your confidence
I was on it for a while and couldn't stand
it so I think we were planning on going
the old fashioned way (condoms and such).
Thanks for the advice!
Any more advice is definitely helpful.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2460 Location: ,
Thanks: 14
Thanked:7
Posted: 07-22-07 09:51am
Eiri
wrote:
Secondly, if sex is painful, she's doing
something wrong. My first time wasn't
painful at
all.
you do can have pain the first time you
have sex due to tearing of your hymen. Not
need to worry as it is normal and will go
away. And also you can bleed. I bleed a
lot but it all stopped when the hymen
broke.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-22-07 13:16pm
nightangel73
wrote:
Eiri
wrote:
Secondly, if sex is painful, she's doing
something wrong. My first time wasn't
painful at
all.
you do can have pain the first time you
have sex due to tearing of your hymen. Not
need to worry as it is normal and will go
away. And also you can bleed. I bleed a
lot but it all stopped when the hymen
broke.
No you don't always have pain due to the
hymen ripping. As has been told to you
over and over, most girls have already
broken their hymen by the time they have
sex. These women have pain still, but it
is because they are doing it
wrong, and these women are the
majority.
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R-I
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Jun 2007 Posts: 253
Posted: 07-22-07 16:11pm
Really the first time i did it... It
hurt.. He didnt even put it all the way
in... Second time, he went all the way in
and started working it out really slowly..
My boyfriend is super gentle....
Also, my x-friend has endemetriosis, and
it would cause very painful periods, and
also it would hurt he to have sex... Thats
how the doctors found out she had
endemetriosis.... Because of her symptoms
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Lion79
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 295 Location: Sunderland, UK
Thanks: 2
Thanked:5
Posted: 07-22-07 17:26pm
I think it's more to do with nerves as to
why it can hurt, and inexperience but it
doesn't always hurt, although that is a
popular idea. It hurt for me first time
(and every time after unfortunately) but I
was expecting it to because that's what
I'd always sort of been told, so maybe
it's partly the expectation that it will
hurt that makes it hurt.
So be reassured that it won't definitely
hurt, it might, might not. you might
bleed, might not.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-22-07 17:54pm
Rachel-Isabel
wrote:
Really the first time i did
it... It hurt.. He didnt even put it all
the way in... Second time, he went all the
way in and started working it out really
slowly.. My boyfriend is super gentle....
Also, my x-friend has endemetriosis, and
it would cause very painful periods, and
also it would hurt he to have sex... Thats
how the doctors found out she had
endemetriosis.... Because of her
symptoms
Endo is an extenuating circumstance and
not the norm.
If a woman has enough lube and the
partners get her loose and turned on
before going at it, sex shouldn't hurt.
I can tell the difference even after
having sex hundreds of times. If my ex did
oral on me before hand, I had no pain at
all. If he didn't, or I tried to go to
fast, it hurt.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 07-22-07 17:55pm
Eiri
wrote:
Rachel-Isabel
wrote:
Really the first time i did
it... It hurt.. He didnt even put it all
the way in... Second time, he went all the
way in and started working it out really
slowly.. My boyfriend is super gentle....
Also, my x-friend has endemetriosis, and
it would cause very painful periods, and
also it would hurt he to have sex... Thats
how the doctors found out she had
endemetriosis.... Because of her
symptoms
Endo is an extenuating circumstance and
not the norm.
If a woman has enough lube and the
partners get her loose and turned on
before going at it, sex shouldn't hurt.
I can tell the difference even after
having sex hundreds of times. If my ex did
oral on me before hand, I had no pain at
all. If he didn't, or I tried to go to
fast, it
hurt.
sex and forepay does not make the vagina
loose
:]
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Llewellyn
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jan 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: NY
Posted: 07-22-07 18:04pm
the_girlfreind
wrote:
sex and forepay does not make the vagina
loose
:]
Right. Sex does not stretch the vagina
permanently. What eiri means is that when
a woman is not in the mood and not
lubricated, sex may be difficult, painful,
or impossible. Being in the mood makes
the vagina expand, and being lubricated
makes the penis slide in easier. So while
the vagina isn't permanently changing, it
may feel very different from one day to
the next.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 07-22-07 18:06pm
Llewellyn
wrote:
the_girlfreind
wrote:
sex and forepay does not make the vagina
loose
:]
Right. Sex does not stretch the vagina
permanently. What eiri means is that when
a woman is not in the mood and not
lubricated, sex may be difficult, painful,
or impossible. Being in the mood makes
the vagina expand, and being lubricated
makes the penis slide in easier. So while
the vagina isn't permanently changing, it
may feel very different from one day to
the next.
ohh lol sorry
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-22-07 18:28pm
the_girlfreind
wrote:
sex and forepay does not make the vagina
loose
:]
Uh, yes foreplay does. That's the whole
point of foreplay.
SEX doesn't permanantly loosen it, as I
mentioned (I think), because I can still
have painful sex now even after hundreds
of times, if I am not properly lubed and
loosened up beforehand by foreplay.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5539 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 87
Thanked:31
Posted: 07-22-07 19:42pm
Eiri
wrote:
SEX doesn't permanantly loosen it, as I
mentioned (I think), because I can still
have painful sex now even after hundreds
of times, if I am not properly lubed and
loosened up beforehand by
foreplay.
Hundreds?? Wow, you're a lucky woman..
lol... j/k
My first time didn't hurt one bit. It
wasn't that great, but it didn't hurt. If
you've never seen each other naked, I'd
advise takling that one first. before you
try have sex.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-22-07 19:59pm
Georgia59
wrote:
Eiri
wrote:
SEX doesn't permanantly loosen it, as I
mentioned (I think), because I can still
have painful sex now even after hundreds
of times, if I am not properly lubed and
loosened up beforehand by
foreplay.
Hundreds?? Wow, you're a lucky woman..
lol... j/k
My first time didn't hurt one bit. It
wasn't that great, but it didn't hurt. If
you've never seen each other naked, I'd
advise takling that one first. before you
try have sex.
Lol. I dated a man for 3 years. I think
that probably adds up to at least a
hundred and fifty.
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silvrbreeze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2007 Posts: 26 Location: Texas,
Posted: 07-25-07 23:23pm
Foreplay isn't so much for "loosening up"
the vagina as it is for lubricating it and
getting each other more excited about
going at it.
Everyone worries a lot about their first
time, but it'll all be okay. You care
about your boyfriend, and if he only lasts
30 seconds, well than so be it. All that
means is that he's really turned on, and
that's NOT going to be a turn off for you.
It all comes from experience.
Talking about things first is good, but it
can also make you overly critical of
yourself and worry more about things, like
seeing each other naked. Why don't you
fill up a nice, warm bubble bath and turn
all the lights out except for a candle a
few feet away from the tub. Then bring
your boy in there, shut the door, and
start playfully undressing him. He
probably won't worry so much about what he
looks like with the lights out and will be
so excited about you wanting him naked.
Just enjoy each other in the bath and
don't move too fast. If you have a
feeling he's self conscious about a
certain part of his body (maybe he's
packed on extra pounds in his stomach or
really hates his skinny legs) try not to
dwindle there so he doesn't feel the need
to be embarrassed. If the baths hot, you
probably won't be able to stay in there
more than 10 minutes, and this could be a
great way to mention "taking it to the
bedroom" for the first time. Leave the
lights out, and don't worry about LOOKING
at each other so much as enjoying it. It
might not be as perfect as a movie the
first time, and that's completely okay!
You'd rather learn together than have him
come to you and having his "routine" down
just as well as he has down tying his
shoes, you know? Especially not for your
first time. Don't worry about the pain
issue. Yes, it may not feel like heaven
the first time, especially if you're not
100% confident with your body or sure of
yourself, but it's nothing to dread. If
"getting it in" is hard at first, just
roll him over, climb on top of him, and
spend some time kissing and just "feeling
sexy" to get you more in the mood and try
again. It's not going to feel unbearable,
and I'm sure he'll be gentle. And if you
do end up with endometriosis, I'm sure it
may feel more uncomfortable, but you'll be
lost in the moment and wanting to take
this next step so bad that it'll be
bearable.
Hope I have helped! Just try and
relax.
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silvrbreeze
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Jul 2007 Posts: 26 Location: Texas,
Posted: 07-25-07 23:25pm
also, I just wanted to add that my friend
has IBS and she describes the cramps a lot
like menstrual cramps. Do you ever feel
gassy with them?
Try looking up symptoms of both
endrometriosis and IBS or IBD before
assuming anything. Even if it does end up
to be endromet. it will be fine.
