I am a 39 yo female 12 weeks pregnant with
my first. The father and I have dated
since November and this was very
unplanned. We had a rocky relationship
and I was about to end it when I found out
I was pregnant. Since then it has been
horrible. He has been so unsupportive and
now I find myself, angry, resentful and so
alone. He has not offered to help one bit
with any of the prenatal bills and he runs
off to the Jersey shore, with friends,
etc., while I can't even go out (loved to
go out) because I am so damn tired. I
haven't seen him in weeks. I am concerned
when I hear how joyous this part of my
life should be and it is anything but. I
am so mad and resentful. I do not dislike
the life inside of me, but I do however
hate my life as it is now. I cannot abort
at this time, but am so scared and not at
all excited about what is to come. I
cannot sleep at all (2 hours a night) so I
am usually up for the day by 4 a.m. I now
suffer from restless leg syndrome which
drives me nuts, my breasts are always
sore, my pelvis is tender from the pelvic
floor muscles stretching, I have a 6cm
fibroid, and am just so miserable. I
talked to the doctor and he sort of blew
it off and told me to stay away from the
guy if he causes me unhappieness, take
Benadryl to help sleep (doesn't help). I
just started a new job - working from
home, thank God - but am having such a
hard time concentrating because I am so
damn tired in the middle of the day.
Can anyone empathize or give me some good,
restful advice?
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matteric
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jul 2007 Posts: 12 Location: Lancaster. CA
Single Mother Posted: 07-21-07 01:10am
I became pregnant and the relationship I
was in I thought was serious until I told
him. He said I hope you dont expect em to
marry you and I told him to go to hell,
turns out he was already married with 5
kids. I had my son on my own and I loved
it yes it is very hard. I have no brother
or sisters just me and my mom but I was
lucky I liverd with her but I worked 12
hour days and had to pay rent bills , day
care etc. but I did it and you will to.
THe first three years were hardest for me.
I just had my second child and let me tell
you in alot of ways it was easier alone, I
was the boss I called all the shot for my
shild now its different. THe bond between
you and your child will be so strong. You
can do it. Remember to ask for help from
people when you need it that is one thing
I had to learn. And when you have a day
off take your baby to daycare still or the
sitter and keep a day for you it is very
important that you still have time for
you, take a bubble bath everynight it
helps. This may sound funny now but later
youll see. GOod luck to you and your
baby..
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trish2801
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2007 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-21-07 10:07am
thank you so very much. It is nice to
hear from people with similar situations.
I think when I am able to sleep a little
better, my spirits will lift. I do think
that it will be easier somewhat on my own,
so thank you for the support!
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Bubbles_1977
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2007 Posts: 2 Location: los angeles, california
Single And Pregnant Posted: 07-23-07 18:05pm
Hi trish2801
You are not alone. I am seven months
pregger with my first child (a girl)and my
daughter's father has been hit and miss
with support during the prenancy. I get so
upset and sad at the fact that this should
not be this way. He has a girlfriend
now(out of nowhere) and only bothers to
help when he feels like it. I believe the
only time he offers help is to keep the
peace with me so his new lady friend
wouldn't find out. i'm telling you, I
would not wish what I am going through
with her father on my worst enemy.
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trish2801
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jul 2007 Posts: 6
Pregnant And Alone Posted: 07-25-07 07:22am
I am so sorry to hear about your
situation. I am glad for you, however,
that he sometimes give something! Good
luck to you and your new one.
I just had a bad experience on Monday.
The baby's ultrasound was not good. The
bladder is obstructed and the prognosis is
not good. I go back in 2 weeks and
hopefully the little one with empty its
bladder. I did see the ultrasound though,
and having done that for a living before,
knew that it did not look good. The
bladder is grossly enlarged and it is very
early for this type of thing to happen. I
am saying many, many prayers and trying my
hardest to stay positive.
I will keep you posted.
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Bubbles_1977
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2007 Posts: 2 Location: los angeles, california
Pregnant And Alone Posted: 07-25-07 13:13pm
Good Westcoast Morning Trish,
I'm so sorry to hear about your news. No
newly mommy wants to hear anything
negative about their precious cargo. Let
me tell you, I found out my little one has
an enlarged pelvis; they call it
pelvictasis(spelling)! We have been
monitoring it since I found out at my
ultrasound. Yesterday, when I had my 28wks
check-up the MD ordered for me to have
another ultrasound, to check on the
prognosis of her kidney. I'm worried b/c
if it looks the same the going to do
follow-up work post partum with specialist
and things. I all I'm telling you is be
prayerful, take it easy, and don't put too
much resposiblity on yourself. Yes, easier
said than done, but sweetheart you have to
put your little precious one first. Sunday
I took the first step towards letting go
of what I thought could be between her
father and myself. I getting fustrated
with his BS and I don't won't to invest
anymore time into his manipulating ways
throughout my prenancy and you don't want
to either. Girlfriend, focus on you and
the baby; do not acknowledge the fact
that dad's a butthead. Just request that
he participates in his child life and with
a straight face holding back feelings just
let him know its not about you anymore
just you guys child. Live your life,
participate in extra-curricular activites
to stay busy, read alot of
self-motativating type books, and if your
spiritual like myself keep the church in
your life, service has got me through many
of depressed days. In all enjoy yourself,
have fun with this pregnancy and let that
guy acknowledge you b/c he will; believe
his conscience is eating him up. My
prayers are with you!!! Stay in touch!!!!!
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lawgirl502
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Jul 2007 Posts: 1
Re. Pregnant And Alone Posted: 07-31-07 02:30am
First of all, you should not be taking
Benadryl. What doctor would tell you that?
Secondly, I am in a similar situation. I
am 36 and pregnant with my 2nd daughter. I
dated the guy for 1 1/2 yrs. I was and am
still in love with him. He however, broke
up with me as soon as I told him. I was
devastated and still am. He didn't call me
for 5 months. It was horrible. The
soreness and emotions, etc... I went
through alone.
I had a 6cm fibroid removed last June,
hence we didn't think it was likely to
have implantation (not that we were
trying). He has a daughter who will be 16
after the baby is born. He is acting
selfish and blames me.
He finally called a few weeks ago and
tells me how sorry he was and that he
missed me and loved me. What a load. Of
course I wanted to believe him- I love him
and am emotional and alone. One day he
loves me and the next he wants nothing to
do with me. He has not concept of the fact
that this is not about HIM.
So, believe me, you are not alone. Every
time my baby kicks I have to remind myself
of the wonderful baby growing inside me-
because what it comes down to is the baby
and our sanity!
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ohmygoshmy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: CALIFORNIA
Life Sucks! Posted: 08-04-07 02:52am
I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child
and got married in a lavish wedding a
little over 3mths ago and my husband is
now living with his mommy. He's now
admitted to having a drug addiction to
meth and lately has been lying, stealing
and perhaps cheating. It seems as though
my life couldn't suck more, then i had a
miscarriage last friday and of course he
was no where to be found. Apparently i was
carrying fraternal twins and one didnt
make it. His evil mother encourages his
drug habit enabling him to continue. It
seems that whole fairy tale of a happy
marriage has gone down the drain. So now
i'm pregnant and alone and very bitter,
because i wanted so badly to have a happy
home and it's no where near. He's not even
working...life sucks...but i've been
through tough times before, and eventually
things will get better...just not with him
or his evil
mother.
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jwsunbeam
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Florida
Posted: 08-10-07 10:21am
Trish,
As you have seen, you are not alone. I,
myself, am expecting and am single. The
father of the child has not been around,
even though his 'intent' to be giving in
what ever is needed. I am 14 weeks and
have been on bed rest for 4 weeks now due
to a bleed, which has proven difficult
considering I have 2 other children in the
house to care for. "Father" has come to
my aid once during this time, so help has
been minimal. I do have friends/coworkers
that come over maybe once or twice a week,
but lack of adult contact does take its
toll emotionally. Sometimes all we have
is optimism that every thing will work out
in the end. I have come to the
realization that I can't allow myself the
added stress of 'him' not being there
because chances are it's probably not
going to happen. Take care of yourself,
rely on your own inner strength and
prepare for the possibility of him not
turning around. As for Benadryl, coming
from a nurse, know that it is a safe drug
to take during pregnancy. It's a
pregnancy category B drug... which means
there is no evidence of risk in humans.
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izzysue
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 21 Location: Long Island, N.Y US
Posted: 08-17-07 03:26am
Hey.
Now I must help you. I'm 33 years old and
just went through the same thing I hate
him now even. My daughter is now 5 months
old. He broke up with me when I was 3
months and moved away at 6 months and left
me by myself with no family nobody. I live
in New York But I moved with him to
Atlanta then he left and I could because
of medical. Then he turned off his phone
and I was in and out of the hospital. I
know how you feel I thought that being
pregnant was the worst thing I ever went
through it is. I felt the same way I cried
everyday without fail. My daughter is the
happiest baby anybody has seen. You feel
like this know but wait when the baby come
and you don't want to see him. The old
saying what goes around comes around. I no
that you don't feel like there's hope
because your sick all the time. I've been
there and now I'm the one doing what I
have to do. I never even Told him I moved
back I just call and say I'm in town if
you want to see your daughter. I wish you
the best
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momtocolton
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2007 Posts: 5 Location: ,
Hi to All.. Posted: 10-03-07 15:36pm
Wow you ladies are very courgious and
outstanding.. All the blows you have gone
through with boyfriends/husbands you amaze
me... I couldn't even imaigne being in the
situations that you are in and dealing
with it the way you are.. I give you
oddles and oddles of gratitude.. You are
so very brave and not running to get an
abortion and I look up to you ladies... I
haven't ever been in that kind of
situation that you guys are in..My story
is totally and completely different then
yours, but I just wanted to say to you
guys.. Just keep your head high and try
not to let the little things in life bring
you down you have something in the end to
look forward to and that is the little one
inside your belly.. Take care and if
anyone would like to chat send me a
message.. Wish you the best Trish as
everyone else too... Have a nice day
mother.
