This post me a bit lengthy, but it
basically involves me dating a girl for 14
months now and she doesn't want a
relationship. She knows how I feel about
her as well.
She broke up with her bf, and we started
talking right after that. I had no idea
she had broken up or whatever. 2 months
later I had fallen in love with her after
talking to her almost every day from her
calling or me calling. We started dating
by going out every once in a while and
with me going over her house or vic versa.
We even met each other's parents!
We had lots of discussions about her not
wanting a relationship. During the first
few months it was because she loved her ex
still, but doesnt want to be with him.
Then it became she isn't ready because
it's too early. Then it became she needed
to find herself and set new standards.
Then it became she needs to focus on her
career. And now finally all she says
"because I don't feel like having one and
I don't need a reason."
Although I respect her and don't want to
force a relationship on her, I can't help
but feel like she's playing me
almost...but I'm confident she isn't but I
do wonder sometimes. She has a lot of guy
friends, some of whom are pursuing her or
atleast try to but she has made it clear
I'm the only one that goes to her house
and do other things....we don't have sex
but making out is a regular occurence.
I'm basically giving her the attention a
boyfriend would give her but she doesn't
want a relationship now. All I am is a
"close friend" with potential to be more,
but at this point she wants to be single.
Well...I don't. I want this to be a
relationship but yet I can't let her go
because I've tried in the past twice and
it didn't go to plan, I love her to much
to just let her go.
Should I just let her go? it has been 14
months now and counting. She wants me to
wait for her, but I don't know if I could
go any longer, each day just gets worse
and worse and doubts start to cloud my
mind.|
Thanks for any responses ahead of time.
|
Marfa2107
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1552 Location: Galena, Kansas United States
Posted: 07-23-07 08:18am
tell her how you feel
explain to her that you want a
relationship, you want to see
what will come out of a relationship
between you to.
if she still does not want one, ask her
why..
ask her why she is holding back
is there something you are doing
wrong....
or has she still not let go of her ex..
maybe she needs to call her ex and have a
closing with that
maybe their break up was long and hard and
she hasn't had the proper
"ending"
just talk to her..that's what a
relationship is about..
communication and if you don't have it now
the relationship probably wouldn't work
out..
just talk to her about it and tell her how
you feel..
goodluck hun..
and let us know.. okay?
|
FMT13
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jul 2007 Posts: 1
Posted: 07-23-07 09:02am
Had to get a new account, some reason I
can't log onto my original.
But anyway...thanks for the reply
marfa2107.
I have told her how I feel, she knows I
want a relationship.
I have asked her why alreayd and it's a
new reponse every time I ask, but I ask
about every 3 months or so. She claims
it's nothing I'm doing wrong, she says it
a point in her life she doesn't want a
relationship simply because she doesn't
want one now without any real reaosn other
than that.
She actually spoke with her ex over the
phone for another 3 weeks last august to
get closure.
And as far as her ex goes, her ex got
married last May....to her ex-friend no
less. She went to their wedding actually
because her family and there family are
friends.
So her ex is the last thing on her mind,
this came right out fo her mouth btw.
I don't want to talk to her about wanting
a relationship anymore, I've brought it up
so many times and each time it comes up
she gets upset and I get upset, because we
both know each other's answer.
I just don't know if I should keep waiting
for her anymore, when do I pull the plug,
because there is no gurantee I will be a
relationship with her, so she says.
|
Marfa2107
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 1552 Location: Galena, Kansas United States
Posted: 07-23-07 09:15am
i'd say since you've waited 14months on
her..
that you should go and try to find someone
who does want to be in a
relationship, since all you are doing with
her is sortof being her "boyfreind/friend
when she wants you" kind of thing...
thats not fair to you
it seems to me she is using you a little
bit (not trying to be rude)
but my opinion since you have talked to
her and you have let her know how you
feel...
to pull the plug and find someone who is
willing to have a relationship with you..
maybe this girl will realize what she has
lost and realize she really did want a
relationship after all...
|
Willa Weintraub
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Mar 2007 Posts: 3399 Location: The Beach!
Thanks: 30
Thanked:46
Posted: 07-23-07 14:03pm
Well,I can tell you from experience that
when my ex and I broke up I felt all those
things she used 'as an excuse'.I don't
think she's playing you I think she really
feels that way.You just have to be patient
and not nag and if you can't be patient I
guess you should move on.
