Troubled and Abusive Relationships Forum

So a little bit of background info. Been with this guy for almost 4 years, been living with him in a house bought together for the last 2. We didn't start the relationship on the best of times, both cheated on someone. Not proud, but had to give you the base.

This bf has some serious trust issues, i understood why at first, considering how we started, but i hoped after buying a house together it would change his mindset.

He seems to think that if he doesn't keep me close, i'm going to slip away. He is controlling in some aspects, that aren't huge. He lets me wear what i want, and i have my own access to money. However, he always wanted me to go to bed the same time he did, (he'd go to bed early, because of work hours), if i went out with the girls, he didn't like it. He'd let me go, but he always made a fuss, said that the more i went out with other people, the less he felt like he was in a relationship. I have to report every minute to him, who I talk to, what i bought, where i went, if i was 5 minutes late, i had to explain why. If I talk to a guy, he automatically assumes I’ve slept with him, or want to. I’ve caught him twice figuring out my passwords and checking my emails.

He has never hurt me, never threatened me. Just a few months ago he had shown some violence, he punched something and broke his hand (drinking was involved again), all because he caught me talking to some guy. But never shown violence towards me.

We broke up about 3 weeks ago, both agreed that since we had the house, to live in it together (but separate) until we sell the house. Now comes this previous weekend. We have a lot of mutual friends, and there was a weekend excursion, he agreed that being together as friends would be ok. Drinking was involved, which didn't help. It may seem like he has an alcohol problem because of what I’m saying, but he doesn't, we are both social drinkers.

I was caught talking to a different guy, jokingly about a threesome, didn’t realize the ex-bf at the time was hiding underneath a friends truck. He comes crawling out, trying to grab me and pull me away from the car. He gives me a little push, and swears a few times, then storms off. Comes back, pushes me to the ground, and starts screaming at me saying that I’m a [edit], and a [edit]. My friend stepped in and she got pushed. We both retaliated at this point and pushed him around, and in turn called him names. At this point he had two of his friends try to control the matter, and his temper.

He ended up damaging my tent; he ripped the mesh of the door. He tossed my friends bag in the lake, don’t understand why. He also took my keys.

On the way home, we reported him to the cops. My intentions were not to arrest him. I didn’t want to do that. I just wanted to put it on record that something did happen, and let it go without him knowing. This behaviour was the first I’ve seen, I know it won’t happen again, it isn’t in his nature. We went to the cops, told them what happened, and the next minute they are saying how they are going to arrest him. Something so measly, from a push, and they took it this far. I had no control, I told them I didn’t want to do this, and they said it was out of my control, that they had policies to follow. I can’t believe how something so small, a push, can get blown out of proportion. Now I’m thinking to myself, I wish I didn’t go into the cop station. I shouldn’t of made a statement. Now he has a court date, conditions not to interact with me. I have no support from people, friends, family. I didn’t want it to go this far. Now I can’t take it back.

Big Mistake