I'm a Monster, I Wish I Wasn't. Posted: 07-29-07 00:48am
I'm 17 and about to
enter my senior year of high school, I'm a
guy and I've never been pretty.. ever..
I've had cousins randomly tell me when
staring at me for a second, "You're ugly."
just plain and simple, and it's true! I
know there are pretty people who just got
told the wrong things and they feel
they're ugly, but I AM ACTUALLY HIDEOUS!
I look deformed! My head is big, my eyes
are beady and not beautiful at all, my
lips are thick. My lack of confidence has
made me over eat, but I'm fixing it now so
don't worry about that, but currently I'm
fat-ish. I have long brown hair so I
could try to cover how big my head is, but
then people just say "You have a big head,
and look like a girl.. a really ugly
girl." I mean it's staggering how much
people tease me for my looks! It really
happens alot! And I don't know what to
do. Every day at school my friends (yes,
my friends.. they're only my friends
because I joke about myself to make them
laugh, they don't care about anything else
but I can't get any other friends.) And
everyone else always make fun and joke
about my looks, I look at people in public
and think to myself, "I'm sorry you have
to see me, I won't be out long." And I
try to avoid being out in public as long
as possible.
I used to have confidence, or at least I
tricked myself into thinking I did. I'm
ugly, plain and simple, there's no
beautiful feature about me. I've heard
and read all the things saying, "Beauty
isn't everything, you're the way you are
because you are the way you are." But
that doesn't cut it, my looks are going to
torment me forever, and I'm never going to
get married, or give my parents grandkids
like they wanted, or even really be able
to do anything social. I'm doomed to stay
in the dark (which I'm starting to feel
comfortable with) for the rest of my ugly
life. I don't even know why keep on, what
would I have to contribute to the world if
I decided that I should stay living? My
friends made a joke and told me to go to a
site called darwindating.com and try to
register, turns out it was a dating site
for only pretty people and it pretty much
told me that since I'm ugly I should die
since I'm only dragging the human race
down. So now I feel like I'm destined for
nothing but death.
I'm depressed, and sad, and ugly, and I
don't know why I should keep going. I
don't know why I was brought into the
world, I don't know why everyone in my
family calls me ugly and just doesn't
disown me like I know they want to. It
feels like I was made only for other
people to feel better about myself,
seriously, put me besides anyone and they
look a lot better by comparison. I don't
have real friends.. just people who decide
that they'll hang around me so they can
make a few jokes and feel better about
themself.
I've gotten nervous habits from this and
tear and shred my nails up, which just
makes me even uglier. I'm working on
fixing it though too, it's just a habit
I'd had from childhood. I've never known
real happiness, I've been depressed my
entire life and I really don't know why I
should continue, I'm just an eye sore.
|
twilight_mist
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 38 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 07-29-07 10:54am
First of all: If anyone's a monster, it's
the people saying you're ugly.
Second: Annyone over the age of... three?
knows pretty much how to talk to others
without deliberatly hurting them - so your
"friends" and family certinally don't show
much maturity.
I know how it is to feel ugly, but you
seem to feel terrible. Is there no one
you can talk to withut them beeing nasty
to you?
We are living in a world where the media
makes our young ones believe that looks
are everything and that it can get you
anywhere. - They are WRONG. Trust me. True
friends won't care how you look. I'd way
rather talk to someone "ugly" and
interesting than someone "sexy" and
selfish/ arrogant ...
Do not let theese people make you do
things you'll regret, and try not to let
their words get to you. - They are unable
to see any further than the tip of their
nose.
Hang in there, and have faith in yourself.
|
ripmyheart
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jul 2007 Posts: 5
Posted: 07-30-07 11:21am
Hi Kureji
I think the most unfortunate thing in the
world is how people objectify one's looks.
And trust me, even the so called
'beautiful' people have their share of
negative criticism.
I'm thin, wheatish complexion, big eyes
blah blah. Very ugly in my opinion. When i
was a kid, my parents told me i was ugly.
In my childhood i was never noticed. And
then when i turned 13, most men started
noticing me. And for a split second i was
happy. And then it turns out, i'm
beautiful enough only for someone to sleep
with. Atleast that's what i was told at
home. And for the rest of my life-- i've
told myself i'm the most loathsome thing
to walk on the planet. And if any man says
i'm hot, its a whole lot of crap-he either
wants to sleep with me or feels sorry for
me and wants to be nice, which is just as
aggravating.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter
how others perceive you. If you can't be
Ok with how you are, nothing can get you
out of this. And trust me, it only sucks
you lower as time passes.
Next time, someone says, ugly, ask
yourself, by whose standards. If the
answer is, in the eyes of your peers.
TRUST me, its a non-issue.
If you still think you're ugly, ask
yourself why it matters. think about it
and you'll realise that it doesn't fetch
you anything. Do you really want to marry
someone/have friends/be around people who
want to be with you for your looks.
I asked myself that question. So now, even
though i think i'm ugly i tell myself that
it could've been worse, and there are
'uglier' sides of me. So i don't really
bother about the way i look.
|
george-christodoulou
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: ,
Posted: 07-30-07 16:59pm
It's hard being a young person in school
and being "ugly".
I don't know you and i don't know what you
look like, but I don't think there are any
ugly people...
I'm not great looking either.... I have
HUGE eyebrows... I have a big
forehead...strange curly hair... Im really
skinny and white...
But that stuff doesn't bother me. When I
was in high school and junior high...it
was not fun... but I had confidence
anyway. I never got picked on because I
always stood my ground... I got made fun
of once and I pummeled the kid into the
ground... got suspended, but it was soooo
worth it!
When I got to highschool, I grew out my
hair and I looked better. I stayed
confident. I still don't think I look
great... but I was able get a girlfriend
that I have been going out with for 3
years now...
And do you know how we met? I didn't even
ask her out. In highschool she asked me
out... but not for my looks... she said
she loved the way I spoke in class and I
was pretty athletic back then, so she
watched me in gym
Now Im in college and looks matter MUCH
LESS. With a personality that gathers
attention, interests people, or stimulates
minds, you will succeed.
Stick in there man... please stay positive
and you will watch things turn around.
|
Kureji
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Posts: 14 Location: TN
Posted: 07-31-07 12:28pm
Thanks guys, this has helped me a lot.
I've been trying some positive ways of
"carrying" yourself and I've noticed some
strange improvements to the way people
look at me. People actually are the ones
who start conversations with me now and I
guess it's because I'm trying to not look
so sad and depressed all the time. I
still don't think I'm the best looking guy
ever, but I've started to think that I may
of benefited from my isolation of the
general crowd in school. Most people at
my school are rough and are angered easy,
where I've NEVER gotten in a fight nor
even been on the verge of one, I've always
been nice to people no matter how they
treated me. Hopefully I'll continue to go
in the positive direction, and seeing as
I'm a senior, all this talk about how
college is sounds pretty good. Maybe once
I graduate all this bad history will be
just that, history. Hopefully at least, I
don't care if I get a girlfriend or not, I
just want to look like I belong with other
human beings and that maybe I'll be able
to get a friend or two.
|
george-christodoulou
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: ,
Posted: 07-31-07 12:36pm
There you go, keep an attitude like that
and you will be fine.
And yea, your already a senior so you
should be fine lad
Thanks,
George
|
sanjayk
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jul 2007 Posts: 16 Location: ,
Always Concentrate What You Can Do For Others !! Posted: 07-31-07 23:31pm
I would suggest that you start
concentrating WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR OTHERS,
YOUR COMMUNITY,YOUR CLASS, YOUR FRIENDS
and you will find in no time everybody
loving you for what you have done for
them.
You will find THAT YOU ARE VALUEABLE which
is going to change your thinking and your
old thoughts of uglyness will seem very
very petty. Check out the Affirmations by
Peggy Mchole.
sanjay
|
j_j89
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jul 2007 Posts: 19
Posted: 07-31-07 23:55pm
hey there, its really awesome that things
are turning around for you. I have read
many posts on this forum, and yours have
affected me the most. Your last post
really made my day. Theres nothing better
than a person feeling better and having a
better outlook on life. Whenever you begin
to look inwards and find what is special
about you and what is working for you, it
will show just about immediately in your
attitude/confidence, and appearance. The
more that you look inside of yourself and
pull out what is great, you will become
great in every aspect. If you do something
as little as get a new haircut, new scent,
glasses maybe and wear a smile, you are
set. Smile being the largest, if you smile
it really does something special for you
and those that you come in contact with
you. If you radiate goodness often you
will get it back. Now as for those "health
questions" (love how this forum edits
profanity), they are the ones you don't
need to worry about. Life will take care
of them, and oh boy will life take care of
them well. Those that put out negativity,
harsh negativity, will get what is coming
to them. When they are awful to you,
remember that THEY WILL GET THEIRS. This
is not a mean or negative way to think in
my opinion, it just supports a noticeable
fact, you get what you put out and often
in equal proportions. You living a good,
wonderful, successful life will bring you
above everyone who is trying to get you
down. When you get to that great day, you
will see how great you really are and what
you have become. Be proud of yourself that
you have not given up thus far, you have
taken the negative and you are turning
that around. As for the estrogen issues
that may arise, i have noticed that many
women and people in general are attracted
to a healthy level of confidence. Everyone
is not focused on looks entirely, often
times in my opinion it is those little
imperfections that make a person truly
beautiful and unique. High school is
nothing more than a daycare with a few
more adult issues added to the mix.
College is where you will begin to find
you. Stay well, i wish you the best.
|
bloodsinger151
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Aug 2007 Posts: 3 Location: Portland, Oregon
Posted: 08-16-07 05:57am
I don't know what you look like, but look
at it this way: even if you are, so what?
Let's say for the sake of argument that
your self assessment is 100% dead on.
You're ugly. Fine. You know what?
That's everyone else's problem. medical
question everyone else if they judge you
for it. You need to think: Yeah, I'm
ugly... you got a problem with it? As
long as you are clean and dressed
decently, no one has any right to give you
caca for it.
Yes, you're in high school. I'm sure it's
hell, and I'm sure that you're in a big
school where all the lil groups don't have
to mix and play nice. If you can't find a
group or club or interest or whatever,
don't worry about it. The best thing
about high school is the end. Then you
can choose who you see afterwards, if at
all.
Seriously... In a sick way, you have a
gift: the ability to screen all the
superficial suckers out of your friends.
|
streethawk
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jul 2007 Posts: 4
Posted: 08-16-07 06:49am
hi khureji!
I dont know about you.But the way ur
friends act towards you is bad.but that
doesn't men ur ugly! you need to stop
listening the crap from ur friends.may
dont have friends if they behave like this
see God made you for a reason! Though its
said " Man is created to know his creator"
. if you belive in God then start
listening to some discourses and you feel
really very light and happy.
And believe me no one is perfect. even i
have a big head. but that ok. u get ur
hairs shortened that way your head wont
look that big.
believe in ur self see more than anything
people are ruining ur confidence!! so u
gotta get out of it!
Now u should have a attitude and
confidence!
And please stop talking about death!! that
is the biggest crime any one can do to ur
self.
I'm 17 and about to
enter my senior year of high school, I'm a
guy and I've never been pretty.. ever..
I've had cousins randomly tell me when
staring at me for a second, "You're ugly."
just plain and simple, and it's true! I
know there are pretty people who just got
told the wrong things and they feel
they're ugly, but I AM ACTUALLY HIDEOUS!
I look deformed! My head is big, my eyes
are beady and not beautiful at all, my
lips are thick. My lack of confidence has
made me over eat, but I'm fixing it now so
don't worry about that, but currently I'm
fat-ish. I have long brown hair so I
could try to cover how big my head is, but
then people just say "You have a big head,
and look like a girl.. a really ugly
girl." I mean it's staggering how much
people tease me for my looks! It really
happens alot! And I don't know what to
do. Every day at school my friends (yes,
my friends.. they're only my friends
because I joke about myself to make them
laugh, they don't care about anything else
but I can't get any other friends.) And
everyone else always make fun and joke
about my looks, I look at people in public
and think to myself, "I'm sorry you have
to see me, I won't be out long." And I
try to avoid being out in public as long
as possible.
