Joined: 27 Jul 2007 Posts: 71 Location: New York, United States
(ot) Need Advice From Males: What Is He Thinking? Posted: 08-01-07 13:52pm
Ok so here's my story. This guy asked me
out a few months ago. I told him that his
timing was wrong and that I wasn't
completly saying "no" but just giving him
a "yellow light". I told him we needed
more time to get to know each other.
A few weeks before he asked me, there were
compliments and flirting but after I said
"no" he doesn't do them as much if any at
all. We still talk but I can feel the kind
of distance between us.
Does he still like me? Did I cause this?
WHAT'S HE THINKING?
My other male friends suggested that his
pride is hurt and he wants to just come
off as if he doesn't care. They said he
still likes me just that I'd have to be
the one to ask him out this time - but I
don't know . . . I still need more
insight.
dont waste your time on him he isnt worth
it be with someone who cares for you.
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everyday_struggle
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 304
Re: (ot) Need Advice From Males: What Is He Thinking? Posted: 08-01-07 16:43pm
Larlen
wrote:
Ok so here's my story. This
guy asked me out a few months ago. I told
him that his timing was wrong and that I
wasn't completly saying "no" but just
giving him a "yellow light". I told him we
needed more time to get to know each
other.
A few weeks before he asked me, there were
compliments and flirting but after I said
"no" he doesn't do them as much if any at
all. We still talk but I can feel the kind
of distance between us.
Does he still like me? Did I cause this?
WHAT'S HE THINKING?
My other male friends suggested that his
pride is hurt and he wants to just come
off as if he doesn't care. They said he
still likes me just that I'd have to be
the one to ask him out this time - but I
don't know . . . I still need more
insight.
I am a guy and if you were to tell me
that, i would assume you just turned me
down nicely. He respects that and probably
doesnt want to make you feel uncomfortable
or maybe reserve that kind of attention
for someone who will give him the time of
day. But i do agree with candita sky, dont
waste your time on him. Maybe he will find
someone that apperciates his compliments
and flirting.
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ultra73
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 4 Location: san jose
Re: (ot) Need Advice From Males: What Is He Thinking? Posted: 08-02-07 14:40pm
everyday_struggle
wrote:
Larlen
wrote:
Ok so here's my story. This
guy asked me out a few months ago. I told
him that his timing was wrong and that I
wasn't completly saying "no" but just
giving him a "yellow light". I told him we
needed more time to get to know each
other.
A few weeks before he asked me, there were
compliments and flirting but after I said
"no" he doesn't do them as much if any at
all. We still talk but I can feel the kind
of distance between us.
Does he still like me? Did I cause this?
WHAT'S HE THINKING?
My other male friends suggested that his
pride is hurt and he wants to just come
off as if he doesn't care. They said he
still likes me just that I'd have to be
the one to ask him out this time - but I
don't know . . . I still need more
insight.
I am a guy and if you were to tell me
that, i would assume you just turned me
down nicely. He respects that and probably
doesnt want to make you feel uncomfortable
or maybe reserve that kind of attention
for someone who will give him the time of
day. But i do agree with candita sky, dont
waste your time on him. Maybe he will find
someone that apperciates his compliments
and flirting.
yeah this is the reason this is how i
would feel
it doesnt mean the guy doesnt care about
you if anything he does but he just
respects you
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Mikolas
Moderator
Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 600 Location: Buffalo University, Hands off! My trained killer kitten has its aim set upon you!
Thanks: 19
Thanked:1
Posted: 08-04-07 03:42am
Well I'd love to analyze his behavior
further, but you need to be more
descriptive then that for me to give a
definite response. For instance, how and
in what manner has he been flirting with
you (what was he saying/doing as well),
and how fast into the relationship, would
be vital information to determine whether
or not he just wants a quickie, or he is a
nice guy, but very horny. If you refused
kindly and respectfully, simply stating
that you care about this relationship and
you want to take it slow (or something
along those lines), and then he pretty
much stopped, either yes, he is trying to
be respectful if he cares for you, he just
doesn't know how far he can flirt up to
after the kind "no", thus his confusion
and anxiety, therefore the distance. If
you didn't insult him with the no answer,
there is no logical reason for his pride
to be hurt, so if you gave a kind no, toss
out the hurt pride idea. The last and
hopefully not true is that he just wants
sex and is like "oh what the hell is the
point now if she isn't putting out". This
last option only makes sense though if the
distance that you speak of is physically
visible as in he doesn't hang out with you
as much, talk to you as much, etc.
Assuming that you did lay him off kindly
and he isn't an problem, I'd say its
really the first one I said. Whenou said
no, he might be wondering why if he has
some insecurities, decides to respect your
decision, wants to still do those things
with you, but now has to restrict himself
and constantly in a small battle with his
mind of things he wants to spit out when
flirting verses self-reservation. So he
may not know what is the comfortable zone,
but if he cares for you, he may likely go
a bit too far so that he doesn't offend
you again and cause some distance.
Thats my two cents. Good luck!
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Larlen
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jul 2007 Posts: 71 Location: New York, United States
Update!!! Posted: 08-07-07 09:43am
Well now he has a g/f but he said
something to me along the lines of "you
could have been the one if you didnt mess
things up"
Lol Im surprised I didnt take it as hard
as I thought I would. OH WELL!! moving on
. . . .
he said something to me
along the lines of "you could have been
the one if you didnt mess things
up"
Why am I not even surprized he answered
this ?
The Mighty Ego has spoken.
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Larlen
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jul 2007 Posts: 71 Location: New York, United States
Posted: 08-07-07 11:05am
lol right!
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Mikolas
Moderator
Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 600 Location: Buffalo University, Hands off! My trained killer kitten has its aim set upon you!
Thanks: 19
Thanked:1
Posted: 08-07-07 23:34pm
I'm glad you are moving on. It didn't seem
serious, he was just a typical problem
guy, one of millions. Find a better one.
Like that hot asian guy right next to this
message to the left. =) Jpz, kudos to you!
