My wife is asexual (not interest in sex at
all ) and she has ED anorexia/bulimia
Her Ed comes from very low self esteem and
body image issues.
do many ED people have issues with not
having a sex drive?
The reason i ask this is because i'm
wondering which issue to look at resolving
first
1. I'm taking my wife to a sex therapist
to hopefully resolve her asexuality
or
2. or should she go to see a therapist for
her ED first?
any advice is appreciated
----
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bibisim
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 76
Re: Ed And Asexuality Posted: 08-11-07 12:40pm
Have you dated before u married?
if she is older than 50 she may have some
changes in sexual life, but completely
asexual???
anyway:
buy her a sexy dress , light candles, open
a champaign, tell that she is the one
..etc and enjoy the evening.....
a lack of appreciation can lead to a
bulimia, she needs to be loved in the
first place, after u have accomplished
your task, if u do love her!!!, u may
take her to doctors.(u can share but not
disclaim responsibility)
best
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la belle et la bete
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Aug 2007 Posts: 4 Location: , England
Posted: 08-14-07 18:25pm
i think that she should try to fight her
ED first before she can even begin to
tackle the issue of her asexuality. The
reason i say this is because if she feels
disgusted in herself and her appearance
and body she is less likely to want to
have sex. It is hard to explain how deep
feelings of insecurity may go, and
therefore i think she should try to tackle
these first, the minute she feels happier
in herself and with herself her confidence
may grow and she may be more open to
intamacy. With intamacy comes trust and
becasue of her ED it may be hard for her
to trust another person so much that she
is able to reveal what she sees as her
faults without the security of her ED.
ED's can affect the chemicals in your
brain causing sex drive to dissolve. This
could be true for your wife especially if
she has a low weight.talk to her. Reassure
her that you love her and are there for
her. Don' t talk to much about her lack of
sex drive as it may make her feel as if
she is letting you down. The fact that you
have come on here shows that you care for
her and that you want her better.
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bibisim
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 76
Posted: 08-16-07 02:08am
[quote="la belle et la bete"]i think that
she should try to fight her ED first
before she can even begin to tackle the
issue of her asexuality.
La belle,
I agree a lot with you, but i can not
imagine how she can fight it herself, if
she is in a need of help she should get
it. a self cure is very hard. furthermore,
if she understands that her husband is
uncomfortable with their intimacy, she
receives additional pressure.
I think that in this case a husband who
cares and it is obvious that he cares,
otherwise he would not have been in the
forum, is a very valuable key to her
releaf. Giving her love on the first place
will give her power to overcome the ED.
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