Problems In Bed! I can't keep an erection whih condom on !

Hey everyone, I'm new to this. Im a 21 year old guy with a problem. Its a long entry, but please do take time to read it. I read other similar topics but I feel that I should make my own. Thanks in advance.

I cannot hope to begin to understand what it is thats wrong with me. I'll start from the beginning. I was with a girl for almost 4 years, without ever having had sex, and after we broke up I ended up very very depressed and even went to a psychologist, though never on medication. I was never really outof the depression, even 8 months on when I met an EXTREMELY pretty girl. We started dating and my depression faded. I also receieved amazing exam results which landed me in the law course I had been dying to join, so as far as I know, im not depressed. Or maybe not until this problem began.

The first time, we decided to make love ( or rather, she decided ) I had an erection all throughout the foreplay but the moment she got the condom, I lost the erection. I couldnt believe that this could ever happen. This girl is the most beautiful girl I could ever hope to be with, so my frustration was (atleast) twofold. At first she was really sad, thinking that it was her, but I knew it wasnt. I felt VERY attracted to her. Luckily for me, she soon started seeing my point of view and assured me that its normal.

After that, we kept on seeing each other and we managed to make love successfully twice after that before it happened again. This time it was also because of the condom! I maintained a good erection throughout foreplay, but when I put on the condom (which was different to the ones I used in the past and was VERY tight) I lost the erection. We tried several times after that (that night) but to no avail. This is no surprise. I am aware that one major cause of losing your erection is due to stress, and after it fails once, I have no doubt that I will psych myself out and it just wont happen.

After that, we again managed twice successfully, until yesturday. It happened again. I maintained an erection, but the second that the condom went on problems started. I put the condom on and at first everything was fine, but for some bloody reason the condom refused to keep rollin down to the base. Then I suppose I paniced. And swiftly lost my erection.

After this happens I almost always manage to get an erection again, from her helping me achieve one. However, despite this, I never manage to penetrate.

So I suppose the problem is the condom? I manage to penetrate much easier without the condom although I have no doubt that if stressed out this wont work either. Im a horrible nervous person. But so far, every time I tried to penetrate without a condom, its worked well. This however leads to the problem of pregnancy scare, even though its just in an out, literally.

I then find myself staring at my erections when I masterbate, and obsess that its not hard enough. Sometimes this is the case, but other times its as hard as its meant to be. Either way, I always manage to ejaculate.

So I guess that rules out impotence? I cant tell if its a good thing or not. If I were impotent then I could just get pills and sort the damn thing out. I dont know what it is that gives me a mental block about condoms or whatver it is thats raping my subconsious, so I cant help myself.

So far, Ive spoken to:-

Doctor 1: Said that it would never happen again and that the first time was stage fright - this could be the case since I was losing my virginity. But after that my partner assured me that it was good, and I feel I perform very well. Im very comfortable with the way I look, and perform and am not shy in ANY way. Although I sometimes feel intimidated by her beauty.

Doctor 2: Told me more or less the same thing as Doctor 1.

Doctor 3: Is my psychologist. I spoke to everyone I could. He told me that it may happen again, which it did, but at least I knew about it. He said that hes not worried that something is physically wrong, because he knows me and said that im anxious and more often then not very stressed (even though I dont know it).

I would love for my partner to go on the pill more then anything but I could never pressure her into doing so. Shes scared that she'll put on weight and suffer the side effects, a resposability I would never like to bare.

The confusing thing is this:-

The condom is probably the problem, as it kills my erection while'st putting it on. How then, did I manage to use it effortlessly the times that I did manage to penetrate? So far the score is Success 4 - 3 Failure. Pathetic.

Problem 1: I was under the influence of alcohol and was scared of losing my virginity or perfomance or whatever.

Problem 2: The condom was too small and I paniced when it didnt go down properly. I later tried putting one of the same box on, and managed but it was VERY tight and rather painful. It looked like it was magnifying my veins.

Problem 3: Last night - Condom was going on fine, but stopped rolling for some reason, and I guess I paniced and lost my erection.


My honest opinion? I think its the condom, but id hate to think Im just forming a convenient scapegoat. Although writing it down does put things into perspective.

Any feedback would really help.