Living With Anxiety W/ a Mom Who Doesn't Understand

hey erin omg i know where you come from...my mom says its all in my head aswell even though she sometimes tries to understand but no one can understand unless their in ur shoes..my panic attacks always have me thinking im going to die..everyday i live like its my last...i hate seeing my family because i think its the last time i will see them..i always want to be home, i dont want to leave my house or be too far because ill get scared..on top of my panic attacks i do have 2 herniated disks which cause horrible pains down my arms and its the worst because just panic attacks alone give u thaty pain and numbness down ur left arm..i swear im going to get a heart attack and the fact im over weight w/ high blood pressu doesnt help even though i have managed to loose 20 pds already as im writing this i feel a choking sensation...but i guess its my panic attacks i have had so many heart tests sone everything comes back normal..and its unbelievable how panic attacks can do this to u...im on xanax and they dont help. reading these post calm me down a bit knowing other people have the same symptoms i do. even though i wish they would just go away.

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I even thought of checking myself into "The Pavillion" for a few days -- just to get some breathing room and distance from my mother. You see, we live together -- so at times it get's tenuous.

I could perhaps ask if I could stay with a friend for a couple days. I'll get some breathing room this weekend though b/c my mother is going to NY to empty out my Gram's house with my brother. My gram is now in a nursing home up here by us and her house has been sold. ~

Although I tell you sometimes it's like night and day -- everyone goes to sleep -- get up the next morning and wallah -- it's as if 'nothing's' happened. Hmmmm. So I've been taking more xanax the past few evenings. I'm also on some other heavy medications and so at least I can sleep.

Thanks for listening

at least u can sleep...i cant im up till 3 am

Some nights are like that for me.... I fell asleep on the couch at around 10 and woke up at 11:30 -- I was hungry so I had a small snack and glass of water. Then was wide awake so I read until 2am -- yes, I can sympathize some nights I am up till 3 with insomnia -- as I live with it on top of everything else.. while still somehow keeping a positive mindset -- when I can.

Some days I cannot cope and also get PTSD flashbacks and get triggered by things -- whether it be on television, a movie I'm watching, or something my mom's said that's pushed my buttons.

I also get terrible anxiety attacks because of the PTSD as well ... nightmares etc. Yuck.

Can you talk to your dr and try to get something for your anxiety/ depression. I have to deal with pain everyday of my life and I try to not allow people to get to me, try to keep your space from those that do. I know that I cannot live alone because I fall and have seizures which my husband is very understanding about this. I used to take meds for my anxiety and stress and they helped for some time but I quit them and taught myself self control. Have you tried EFT and for those who have a PTSD you might think of trying EMDR, just try doing some research on them. All the best to you and know that I am here for you!

Hello Sandy and everyone --

I am taking something for my depression and have something I can take as needed for my anxiety. My PC Dr. (primary care) has referred me to the psychiatrist in town -- for an evaluation and to hand over the management of my psychopharmacological care ... seeing as how I've en quote been on and tried every class of SSRI's etc and then tried WB and that was horrible for me. What is EFT? I am familiar with EMDR I'm not sure if my psychologist is licensed in that practice.

Just feeling very anxious lately and wondering if my anxiety medication is working -- other than to put me to sleep. Not so helpful during the day. I'm not working at present but when I do head back -- I'll need have something that will ease my anxiety attacks when I can't sooth myself first.

Oy. Thank you for listening.

My anxiety's gotten so bad that I've seriously thought about going in-patient for a couple of days. I always usually get to the door and then get scared that I'll be locked away in my room and not able to walk around even. I'm very claustrophobic. Has anyone with anxiety ever been in patient for treatment? If so may I ask how was it for you and what was the experience like, if you don't mind. I don't need the down to the last drop details -- just asking for a person that's never been.

Hello Hypathia,

I am wondering if you could help me. I have been told I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks but am still concerned that I could be suffering from PTSD. Could you please explain what it is in more detail or tell me what could trigger it off?? I am wondering if a build-up of stress, a bereavement in the family or if something happened to yourself could start off PTSD. For example, my gran recently passed away and I was very upset, didn't like to talk about it much and bottled up my feelings. Not long after I nearly blacked out because I wasn't well and ever since then have been very afraid of dying and extremely aware that it could happen to me at anytime. I have been diagnosed by my doctor with panic attacks but still feel anxious and constantly alert when not having a panic attack. I am having difficulty sleeping and have horrible headaches. I always remember when everything started to go black and feel like it keeps happening over and over, especially when I am out walking somewhere in the dark or sleeping in the dark, so this scares me and I begin to panic. I tend not to have panic attacks as often anymore and they don't feel as severe so I'm starting to believe they're getting better, but I am now starting to feel depressed, although I am emotionally numb at times. Like I just don't feel happy anymore but sometimes I feel the need to cry but cannot feel the hurt I used to feel when I was about to cry. Also, I used to suffer from anger problems but don't seem to be able to feel a little bit angry about anything anymore, and feel that I can't even enjoy anything or even feel love towards my partner. I don't understand what's happening and I am very confused. Could you help please? Thankyou.

hiya, i feel alone too, i live with my boyfriend and i tell him all time how ifeel and he doesnt really listen, he says "ohh, go to the doctors, its like a home to you". i dont even like to ask people now if they suffer the same in case they laugh at me for always worrying, i was taken to hospital 2 weeks back cause i thought i was having a heart attack, i was just having a bad panic attack, my attacks are so intense that i suffer bad chest pains after the panics, i feel so rubbish and weak for a few days. does any one feel this too?

first of all erin, i understand your situation with your mom. i'm 28 now, but from 12-18 i had the worst relationship with my mother because she gave me no comfort whatsoever when i needed it most. i had severe anxiety with panic attacks, which obviously leads to depression. how can you not be depressed when you can't leave your house! i couldn't keep friends. i changed high schools 3 times because people thought i was crazy... when i was 16 my mom sent me to a mental institution for teens, telling them she thought i was going to hurt myself or her...in actuality, she just couldn't handle me anymore and she needed a break. i was only there for a couple of weeks, but it was pretty awful. it seemed like a jail more than anything.
when i was 17 or 18, i was checked into a hospital for taking a bunch of pills. there, i was in with the adults, so i must have been 18...it was way more helpful than the other place. they keep it really structured though, which is probably what i needed..you get up at a certain time, have group and individual sessions, and you eat at specified times. i didn't stay for long, and it wasn't very helpful. but i can see how it could be for certain people.

erin, i know that i don't know your situation, or your mother, but looking back i have to realize my mom was only human. i was awful. and it wasn't purposeful, i just was so miserable and felt like life was hopeless for me, and on top of it i felt sick all the time. so when she didn't comfort me the way i wanted her to, i would throw fits and get into really nasty fights with her. she'd walk out the door and i'd be left there crying my eyes out and screaming. i felt so abandoned. and with friends at that age, they just turned on you in a minute to suit themselves. and honestly, i was always a gifted student, i had lots of friends, and even though i was a little shy, i was a cheerleader for a couple of years and had many boyfriends. i think my mother looked at this surface life of mine and thought it was impossible for me to be as miserable as i was. she took me to a million therapists, i was on a ton of medications, but nothing helped me until i met a young female therapist that really took me seriously. she had suffered anxiety and panic herself, and she helped me to feel not so alone. getting over anxiety is a long hard struggle, but you can do it. i''m a million times better than i used to be, but i still struggle sometimes.

maybe you and your mom could go to see a therapist together, or you could talk to one about you mom and how to get through to her. i know my mom has always loved me, and she thought she was doing the right things for me. "tough love" as they call it is garbage if you ask me. you can't scare someone to "snap out" of anxiety!

i know i've rambled, but my heart goes out to you. my number one suggestion to you is to create a support system. find a therapist you like, someone you trust and respect, and that you feel respects you. it took me a long time, but i think that's really important. maybe, your therapist could find you a group to join as well. most importantly, you need to put faith in yourself. you are your own best friend, as dumb as it sounds. the more confidence you can build in yourself, the easier life will become. exercise as well! exercise helps release stress, makes you feel better about yourself, and can give you a great high. keep yourself occupied. set goals and work toward them. it helps get your mind off other stuff.

and to emma: i honestly think that if you don't experience something yourself, you will never completely understand. your boyfriend doesn't get it. so many people think we all make this stuff up. why we'd do this to ourselves is beyond me. i used to go to the doctors almost twice a month. i'd give anything to wave a wand and have my friends/boyfriends/family experience everything i was feeling. i have the best boyfriend in the world right now. we've been together for almost 7 years and we plan on getting married soon, but he doesn't get it either. early in our relationship my anxiety caused a ton of problems and he didn't know what to do when i was depressed. it's taken a long time for him to know how to comfort me when i need it or to let me be anxious about a particular situation without getting frustrated.
just know that there are many of us out there that know how you feel, and know it's real. you are not alone.

look for books! reading about other people's experiences and things that helped them can be helpful to you. there are a lot on amazon for pretty cheap. here's a link to a good one.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1 572240032/healthyplacecom