Abortion Debate Forum - Prochoice=poor Parent??


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sillyakchick

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Prochoice=poor Parent?? Posted: 08-13-07 16:58pm


I was talking with someone the other day about how I am pro choice, and they looked at me with pity. "How sad", she said "To know you will never be a parent and experience the joy of haivng children". I responded by telling her that I indeed have two very lovely children at home, and my pro choice status is not changed nor is it defined by my stance on abortion. At this point she became red-faced and furious. "You don't even deserve to have children, and if you have them, they should be taken away from you. Anyone who could homicide an unborn child has no business even having children!" Needless to say, I was aghast and dumbfounded. Before I could respond, she had stormed away leaving me hanging with my mouth open. Sooo, I guess that leaves me wondering with a question for prolife: Do you think prochoice women can be good parents? Do they deserve to have children?

Tylanas

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Posted: 08-13-07 17:07pm


Of course they can be wonderful parents! My grandmother was pro-choice, my mother was pro-choice, and both of them are amazing women and fantastic parents! My father is pro-choice too, and I can't think of anyone else I would have wanted as a dad. Being pro-life or pro-choice plays absolutely no role in how you raise your child... I never even knew my mother had an abortion in college until I was 20! The only time bring pro-choice or pro-life comes in to play is if your daughter finds herself pregnant. And then, it should be HER choice, not yours. If my daughter chose to keep a pregnancy, I would respect her choice and give her all the help I could. I wouldn't raise the baby, but I'd assist my own child.

sillyakchick

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Posted: 08-13-07 17:21pm


I would completely agree with you, but I wonder how many prolife people hold this opinion?

meblonde01

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Posted: 08-13-07 17:40pm


Yes, I think any person can be a good parent not matter what they believe. I don't think the way you believe effects the way you treat your children. The way you love them or guide them. I think a lot of time we try in instill our beliefs into children. I'm not saying that is wrong either, but most of the time children end up deciding for themselves what they believe when they grow up.

Jude-Love

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Posted: 08-13-07 19:23pm


Wow. I can't believe someone would be that ignorant. Yes, she cares so much about children that she would rip them from their home, away from their parents who love them, because of politics!

Dale123

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Posted: 08-13-07 19:44pm


Well, I think it really depends on the person.. For me I am prochoice, but thats because I know alot of reasons of why people have abortions. However, I don't think it would ever reflect on how I parent my children someday. If anything I think a pro choice parent could be better than a pro life parent. Sometimes prolife people have children because they're pregnant and really they aren'tgood parents.. Just doing what they think is right.. However a prochoice person has chosen to have a child.. Which means they know there options and have chosen to have a baby. ALSO, I think its great to be pro choice because it means you probably have an open mind and look into things a bit deeper. rather than someone who is prolife, and don't look at the reasons etc.

Birch

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Posted: 08-13-07 21:40pm


My goodness, I am sure that I would have laughed in her face. "Oh, the irony", I would say, as I held my stomach and wiped tears off my cheeks. "Excuse me, I have to pee now", I would have said, and walked away laughing.

Jules

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Posted: 08-14-07 04:43am


Of course pro-choice women can be good mothers, that's just crazy to think otherwise I will admit to being curious about how a woman who has had an abortion feels when she decides to keep a later pregnancy though. I know if I'd had an elective abortion I would feel like I didn't deserve more children but that's because of my personal morals. It would kill me to grow another baby knowing I killed its sibling. However, not many women think like me so they should have no guilt whatsoever.

Jincks013

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Posted: 08-14-07 07:05am


I didn't know I shouldn't have Chosen to have my two children!! Sheesh. Some people will go to great lengths to prove their side of an issue. I am PC my eldest daughter is PC, my mother is PC, my grandmother was PC... and with the exception of my daughter all of us have had children and raised them. "I will admit to being curious about how a woman who has had an abortion feels when she decides to keep a later pregnancy though." The same as any other woman who has ever birthed a baby before. I was scared the first time simply because I had no idea how long that hideious pain was going to go on; I was just determined to get it over with the second time because I knew then I was in for a short ride for labor. All you think about is that the time has arrived; it hurts like hell; and that cheesy looking pasty stuff the baby arrives coated in is really gross.

Birch

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Posted: 08-14-07 12:19pm

Jules wrote:

...I will admit to being curious about how a woman who has had an abortion feels when she decides to keep a later pregnancy though. I know if I'd had an elective abortion I would feel like I didn't deserve more children but that's because of my personal morals. It would kill me to grow another baby knowing I killed its sibling. However, not many women think like me so they should have no guilt whatsoever.

I'm sure it has to do with circumstances...but I would say that if you feel like you don't deserve children or feel guilty b/c you killed its sibling, then you may not have made the best decision (abortion) for yourself.

Just a thought.

young Girl

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Posted: 08-14-07 12:26pm


i believe that no matter what you believe as a person you can be a great parent no matter what! people arent going to grow up the same or have the same point of views in life. just because you are prochoice doesnt mean your children will grow up that way. you can tell them and teach them your beliefs and educate them but they will end up makeing thier own decitions in life,regaurdless sillyakchick you are not a bad parent that lady was carzy

nightangel73

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Posted: 08-14-07 19:57pm


Have in mind that many people are pro-choicers but then they never had abortions.. others are pro-choicer for other people but not for themselves. So I guess the question would be if a woman has had abortion would she make up to be a good parent someday? Maybe yes, maybe no who knows. What is true is that for sure she wasn't a good mother for the one aborted (if aborted for social reasons) because obviously she killed it. But she could become a good mother for next ones.

Dale123

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Posted: 08-14-07 20:00pm

Jincks013 wrote:

I didn't know I shouldn't have Chosen to have my two children!!
Sheesh. Some people will go to great lengths to prove their side of an issue. I am PC my eldest daughter is PC, my mother is PC, my grandmother was PC... and with the exception of my daughter all of us have had children and raised them.

"I will admit to being curious about how a woman who has had an abortion feels when she decides to keep a later pregnancy though."

The same as any other woman who has ever birthed a baby before. I was scared the first time simply because I had no idea how long that hideious pain was going to go on; I was just determined to get it over with the second time because I knew then I was in for a short ride for labor.
All you think about is that the time has arrived; it hurts like hell; and that cheesy looking pasty stuff the baby arrives coated in is really gross.

I am Pro Choice too.. I agree many people do go to great lengths..

Rodge

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Posted: 08-14-07 20:07pm

nightangel73 wrote:

Have in mind that many people are pro-choicers but then they never had abortions.. others are pro-choicer for other people but not for themselves. So I guess the question would be if a woman has had abortion would she make up to be a good parent someday? Maybe yes, maybe no who knows. What is true is that for sure she wasn't a good mother for the one aborted (if aborted for social reasons) because obviously she killed it. But she could become a good mother for next ones.

Social reasons? It's 2am over here- perhaps you could elaborate? Confused

nightangel73

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Posted: 08-14-07 20:41pm

Rodge wrote:

nightangel73 wrote:

Social reasons? It's 2am over here- perhaps you could elaborate? Confused

social reasons are the abortions where there is no medical reasons to abort the baby, which is most of them..

ats23

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Posted: 08-15-07 08:47am


I'm pro-life, but I don't think being pro-choice has anything to do with the type of parent you will be or are. Unless if your daughter got pregnant and you talked her into having an abortion. But that wouldn't really be pro-choice, that would be pro-abortion, which negates the whole "choice" in the issue anyways. I have many friends who have had abortions. Some of them I think will be GREAT parents one day, others not so much. Not because they are pro-choice, but because of the type of people that they are. I also know some pro-life people that I don't think would be good parents. I don't think this issue has anything to do with parenting skills or the love you have for your current children.

haliparot

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Posted: 08-16-07 03:47am


first of all I applaud you for your patience with this lady. I can't imagine myself with the same situation like that. Probably I could have shouted at her. I don't know. But, indeed she is just one crazy chick. I know a lot of pro-life people including most of my friends and parents and they never looked down a pro-choice person the same that the lady did. She is just totally misinformed. I think a person like her is very rarely seen even in the pro-life community.

Cambion

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Posted: 08-23-07 15:58pm


Of course they can be good parents. There's good pro-choice parents, just like there's bible-thumping fundie pro-lifers who are poster children for awful parenting. Pro-choicers probably tend to be better parents because they aren't as narrow-minded as PCers (like the retarded woman from the OP story) and can better understand how to raise children without completely biased/unrealistic/absurd standards. And there's also pro-choicers who are or would make bad parents - I know I'd knock a kid's teeth out of his fat little head if he did that shrieky high-pitched screaming that kids just love doing. Thing is...I think PCers are aware of the fact they'll be bad parents if that's the case, whereas pro-lifers are usually pretty ignorant to their lack of parenting skills. Since, you know, they're the ones who scream to save the fetuses, they automatically assume they're the epitome of good parenting.

sandyallen

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Posted: 08-23-07 16:27pm


Some people are just ignorant! Just because people have abortions it does not make them a bad parent, I agree with Cambion pro-choice people are generally more open and understanding and true, their are pro-choicers that aren't good parents it is not that I am trying to judge it is just things that I have seen. I probably would have gotten upset with her too!

Moo

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Posted: 08-27-07 08:03am

Jules wrote:

I will admit to being curious about how a woman who has had an abortion feels when she decides to keep a later pregnancy though.

Personally my feelings towards continuing this pregnancy have very little to do with my previous abortion andI don't feel as though I'm doing anything wrong in electing which pregnancies I wish to continue.
I look at it this way, if I'd not had my previous abortion I would probably have not finished university, I wouldn't have been able to afford the course following my degree and so wouldn't have qualified in the job I am in. Because I'm in this position now I feel better equipt to be a mother - I can continue this because I am in a position to be able to give a child the things I wanted to.

Of course everyone is different but to me I am in a very different position now and so that is why I am continuing with this pregnancy but didn't with a previous. Smile

I don't think a persons belief on abortion effects what kind of parent they will be and the conversation that started this thread shocked me, seriously.