I have no sex drive either and my pregnancy has just begun. I am hoping it has something to do with being tired and nauseated and that it will come back once I get out of the first trimester.

If regular sex hurts you try oral or just hands...just a thought.

It is my understanding that this is not your first pregnancy. Is that right? Was your last pregnancy like this?

No this is my second. But my daughters father left us at 3 months. So i really don't know much about a sex drive during pregnancy.. It's all kinda new to me. I'm 22 weeks, and haven't had much of one the whole time. It's killing my fiance, but i don't know what else to do. Oral is a option i guess.

That is a difficult subject in relationships. My husband has been really understanding so far, but it has only just begun...

There have been times in our relationship where we can't keep our hands off each other and times when we are sitting around and realize it has been a while. It fluctuates for us depending on stress, jobs, money, weather...you get the picture, maybe pregnancy is just another fluctuation.

I don't believe in having sex if you don't want to but I also think if you don't ever want to you should do what you need to do to try at least. Like maybe next time you have some free time together start fantasizing about him during a shower by yourself or something and after a while of daydreaming maybe you will be in the mood enough for a quick love making session that by no means needs to involve penetration, especially if it hurts. Even if you are not in the mood to fantasize just start and sorta force yourself to daydream about making love to your husband and maybe eventually you will feel like getting it on, that has worked for me before.

Maybe try reading erotica together or by yourself to try and get the mood going for yourself.

I hate being plagued with a low sex drive it can put a lot of stress on a relationship. I have actually been on both sides of that coin. I just think that your fiance needs to be understanding and not put any pressure on you and that you need to try different things for yourself to see if you can at least get in the mood for it occasionally.

In my opinion it is so important just for being close even if it isn't about getting off.

Well he has never been mad cause we don't have sex. But just like any man i guess he gets frustrated. And me too. I mean going from sex 3-4 times a week to once a month if that...it's tough for anyone. But he understand that it's not him. It's my lack of wanting it. And it's not forever. I know a few things that we might try. Just didn't understand why i feel like this, and it says everywhere that your suppose to have a increase in sex drive, and it's suppose to be so much better during pregnancy.

Well, it sounds like your fiance is a really great and understanding guy.

Since sex is suppose to be better during pregnancy I hope my sex drive comes back after my nausea dissipates a bit.

Yeah. I hoped mine would too, but it didn't. But only 3 1/2 months left..Think we can make it? lol

ugh you can have my sex drive holly

see with me... my problem is that i get in the mood to have sex and then when we try i just get out of the mood because how uncomfortable it is and how much i hate sex during pregnancy.. i find that i kan't enjoy myself during sex while being pregnant...

I'm with you on having absolutely no sex drive. I haven't had one since the beginning and now I'm almost 26 weeks and still don't have a sex drive. It's just too uncomfortable, and I usually dont climax either. Thankfully my fiance is pretty understanding about it, and we try to do it at least once a week for him. I usually make him give me a huge massage beforehand with lotion, because I found that it makes me relax a bit so that there might be a chance that I'll enjoy sex. Don't worry, you're not alone. But, if you don't have a sex drive now, it probably won't return any time soon. Hang in there, you're half way done.

ive lost all my sex drive too,with my first pregnancy i wanted sex all the time but this time i just couldnt care...

try not to worry. In my first 2 tirmesters with my third child after twins I had no desire what so ever to have sex let lone let my husband even touch me at times. He would get so fustrated but my husband feels that if I do not want sex then he does not want sex but it almost killed him. Then I started my third trimester and oh my sex was all I wanted and and red meat even though I was still voniting all the time (I make a very bad pregnant lady that way and I had the pregnacy rash on top for the morning sickness that lasted ALL day)LOL. Even after the delivery I wanted even more than ever. like you my first pregnacy with the twins I had no partner as they were from a rape so sex was not en=ven a thought for me that time. This last time at the end my husband had nore sex than he knew what to do withLOl.
hopefully it will happen for you like this but it may not. Try explaining to your partner that your body is changing and I am very dry because of the pregnacy and it hurts me I am sure he will understand. At least I hope he will. If this man truely loves you he should. You said you used the lube do you usse cold? You may want to try warming it up some. you heat like you would a bottle in a warm cup of water not the microwave. You could also try more fore play than the sex pat most men like that just as much.
good luck
taykare