sillyakchick
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I Think I Am Going to Crack
Posted: 08-27-07 12:20pm
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OK it has been 6 weeks since my best
friend ran off and got married to her ex.
A week after she was living with my
brother. I am over the anger of what she
did, now I am in the depression part. The
way i look at it, she basically died. She
had lied to me for so so long, I know she
is not the same person I thought was my
friend. that person doesn't exist
anymore, and it is so so hard for me. She
was my touchstone. She knew all of my
secrets and I thought she shared her with
me. She was there for me when i had
trouble, onflict, etc. She was ther to
listen and sometimes offer a kind word.
She was like my sister. Now it seems like
I have nobody left and it is really
killing me. I am despondent, lonely and I
feel like I am going to crack. My 14
month old has been super cranky and I just
don't have any patience for her. I feel
so terrible. I had lunch with my 5 year
old the other day and I thought to myself
"gosh this was so much easier before
Hannah came along." Then I felt like a
monster for even thinking it. I had to go
into the bathroom and bawl for like 5
minutes. My cat got eaten a few weeks
ago, my turtle ran away, I put my dog to
sleep after christmas and my other best
friend left for the Peace Corps in June.
I went back on my medication, but it just
doesn't seem to be doing the trick so
well. I even went to my acupuncturist
last week, and it really helped for about
a week, not I feel almost like I am back
at square 1. Panic attacks, afraid to be
alone with my children, etc. I am
completely wound. Thanks for listening, I
just don't know who else I can share this
with ritght now.
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Fairy Godmother
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Joined: 11 Oct 2003
Posts: 1492
Location: , Georgia USA
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Hi
Posted: 08-27-07 12:26pm
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Hey Girlfriend, what are friends for? I am
right here, as always.........you are nevr
alone whne you come here. Just know that
and you can vent anytime your little heart
desires. I am happy you have Franklin now.
Maybe you need to try a different
antidepress? I went through so many until
I finally found one htat keeps me at a
even kiln. Just wanted to write you back
really quick to let you know I'm
here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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sillyakchick
Supporter
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Posted: 08-27-07 12:32pm
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Can't do antidepressants....
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Birch
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Joined: 07 Nov 2005
Posts: 4044
Location: Bliss,
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Posted: 08-27-07 15:06pm
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Holy cow.
I am really, really sorry to hear all that
and wish there was something I could do.
I'm so sorry.
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sillyakchick
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Posted: 08-27-07 15:11pm
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| Birch
wrote: | Holy cow.
I am really, really sorry to hear all that
and wish there was something I could do.
I'm so sorry. |
Git yer canoe out and head for the high
grounds, you ninny!
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Fairy Godmother
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Posts: 1492
Location: , Georgia USA
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Hi
Posted: 08-27-07 15:18pm
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OK, lets pull out the JAMIRIQUAI CD and
blast it! This ALWAYS makes me feel
better..........can you not have a small
glass of wine???????/ I don't own
canoe.....but I can swim like a
fish........grab holt to the rope mately
and I pull you in! Hope you are feeling
some better. I did find humor in your last
post???????????? HUGS 
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sillyakchick
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Posted: 08-27-07 16:17pm
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I was thinking that Ms. Birch might
possibly be flooded and need to seek
higher ground, possibly ina mountianous
state. nudge nudge
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CaNdItAs CrAzY LaNd
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Posted: 08-27-07 16:34pm
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hugs to you hun. i feel the same way i
havent seen my 2 close friends for over a
yr now go fig so you all are my bffs 
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sillyakchick
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the Other Shoe
Posted: 08-27-07 18:55pm
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Well, it just doesn't seem to get any
affing better does it? I just got laid
off. what 
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Birch
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Posted: 08-27-07 20:39pm
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Holy schnit what!!! My god, when it rains
it's a monsoon! I'm so freakin'
sorry...is there anything a person like me
can do for you? Seriously...that all just
sucks.
(I, uh, don't really know what you mean
about the canoe and all that...?)
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ThriftyGal
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2006
Posts: 2982
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: 08-28-07 01:59am
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I'm really sorry, that seems like a crap
load of unfair things to have going on all
at once.
There probably isn't much I can say that
would be helpful. Don't feel like a
monster . You are only human, don't be
hard on yourself for it. I don't know how
to help so I will just let you know that I
feel like I'm cracking many days too.
There are days when I'm literally too
scared to go to sleep because I'm scared
of the prospect of waking up in the
morning and doing the exact same thing I
do every day all over again. I put it off
for hours (like I am right now, I just got
out of bed at almost 3 am to find
something to keep myself busy) because I
don't want to wake up and spend another
entire day with my daughter. This isn't
always the case, just when I get into one
of those slumps that takes me over for a
couple of weeks or so. But the lows seem
so extreme that when things are good it
seems so cheap, and you are just waiting
for the lows to come again.
I'm sorry I can't be more help, I just
wanted you to know some days I feel like
I'm going to break soon too. I really
hope things start to look up for you. You
deserve a change in luck, you really seem
like a very kind person to me. But it
always seems the good people get dealt the
crappiest hands.
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sillyakchick
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Joined: 12 Apr 2007
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Posted: 08-28-07 09:11am
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| Birch
wrote: | Holy schnit what!!! My god,
when it rains it's a monsoon! I'm so
freakin' sorry...is there anything a
person like me can do for you?
Seriously...that all just sucks.
(I, uh, don't really know what you mean
about the canoe and all
that...?) |
Aren't you flooded out yet? (birch bark
canoe, flooded area, come up here and have
a cup of coffee with me, etc)
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sillyakchick
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Posted: 08-28-07 10:09am
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I don't know what i am going to do about
the job thing. I am just numb right now.
I have an appt to see my shrink in 87
minutes and counting.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 08-28-07 10:16am
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im sorry hun  i sure hope stuff
starts to get better for you. ill be
keeping you in my thoughts
arg what that stupid woman did to your
brother STILL makes me mad.
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sillyakchick
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Posted: 08-28-07 10:24am
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| the_girlfreind
wrote: | im sorry hun i sure hope stuff
starts to get better for you. ill be
keeping you in my thoughts
arg what that stupid woman did to your
brother STILL makes me mad.
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Im not mad, just completely saddened....
But thanks for being mad for me!
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 08-28-07 10:36am
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| sillyakchick
wrote: | | the_girlfreind
wrote: | im sorry hun i sure hope stuff
starts to get better for you. ill be
keeping you in my thoughts
arg what that stupid woman did to your
brother STILL makes me mad.
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Im not mad, just completely saddened....
But thanks for being mad for
me! |
lol ill handle the angry part
and im sorry to hear about your job too
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sillyakchick
Supporter
Joined: 12 Apr 2007
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Posted: 08-28-07 11:07am
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| the_girlfreind
wrote: | | sillyakchick
wrote: | | the_girlfreind
wrote: | im sorry hun i sure hope stuff
starts to get better for you. ill be
keeping you in my thoughts
arg what that stupid woman did to your
brother STILL makes me mad.
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Im not mad, just completely saddened....
But thanks for being mad for
me! |
lol ill handle the angry part
and im sorry to hear about your job too
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Well, you can just chalk it up as one more
thing to blame the insurance companies
for. Sees they don't like to pay their
bills.
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meblonde01
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Posted: 08-28-07 11:27am
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Sillyakchick
that all stinks.. I often wonder when I'm
down and out how I could be any more
down, and low and behold, there comes
something else. It is a sad sad feeling..
But please remember even though we are on
line people to you, we feel the same
things you do and we truley do
undersatnd.. I know I do.. someone said
you seem like such a nice person and I
have to agree. Just remember bad things
seem to happen to nice people.. But it
will all work out. And if you ever want to
talk.. In real person.. I'm here just IM
me and I will give you my toll free work
number.. K??
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Birch
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Posted: 08-28-07 12:42pm
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I hope that today is a better day for you!
It has to be...right?
(I'm south of the flooding, but the coffee
sounds good anyways!)
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Tmddyan
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Joined: 13 Jun 2006
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Location: post falls, id usa
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Hey
Posted: 08-28-07 12:48pm
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i know you cant do anti depressants. but
have you tried st.johns wort? its a herbal
mood lifter. you might wanna give it a
thought. hang in there.
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