Need Help Dealing With Bipolar Mother Posted: 08-30-07 22:40pm
Hello,
My mother is 50 years old, diagnosed
bipolar. I am twenty years old. She is
very well educated, but has suffered
severe depression for the last 10 years
and seems to be turning into a mental
vegetable. I am worried for her. I try to
encourage her, but her psychological
depression is all to familiar and evokes
in me the very things I have worked so
hard to move past. That is the pessimism,
drowning in sadness, refusing to set goals
or socialize. These are the same demons I
wrestle with, yet she is 50 years old and
still has not made any progress. I often
feel that by communicating with her it is
sucking me back in.
She claims to have stopped drinking, yet
she still obviously drinks. She speaks as
though she were mentally retarted, and
praises me manically; also spends a lot
of time talking about how awful her past
was. I tell her to move past it all and to
look forward, but I raise my voice and get
frustrated as she reveals that nothing I
tell her is getting through.
It's a tempting idea to abandon the
relationship.. I act like the parent while
she praises me for my knowledge and
wisdom. I don't want to be wise and
knowledgable! I'm not! I'm just in college
trying to get by and don't know how to
deal with this person that calls herself
"mom". I do love her, but the moodswings
are painful and the depression is
unbearable. What have you done in the past
to make bipolar relationships work? Can
anyone help me work through this problem
with my mother?
|
Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 4050 Location: Bliss,
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Posted: 09-04-07 19:35pm
My goodness, I am so sorry to read all
this. How tough it must be.
I would recommend you reading some books
by Alice Miller. She is a psychologist
who writes about relationships with
parents with a focus on abuse issues.
It may not seem abusive because it isn't
intentional, but the way your mother is
treating you and forcing you to act the
adult is abusive regardless.
I empathize with you; my mother would try
to suck me into her world like yours, and
I couldn't stand it. Sometimes I would
ask myself, "If I just knew her as a
person, not as my mother, would I put up
with her behavior?"
No way.
But then she is your mother...
It's hard.
I hope you do some reading, and perhaps
get some counseling. I know on most
college campuses they offer free mental
health assistance.
