I am currently in an interracial
relationship. I am white, and my
boyfriend is half white, half
samoan/black(although everything about him
besides his skin color is white). I love
him so much - he makes me happy, we have a
lot in common, he's supportive,
respectful, funny, caring, fun to be
around...Everything I could possibly ask
for in a boyfriend. Aside from our own
personal character flaws (which everyone
has), we have an almost perfect
relationship...Except for the fact that my
parents are very unsupportive of it. His
family is great, and all of our friends
think nothing of it. We do have a good
hours distance between us, and he is 4
years older (i'm eighteen, but neither of
those factors affect us (except that we
miss each other and and can't see each
other every day). I do not know how to
get through to my parents, and I am
feeling really betrayed by them. They
seem to care more about what other people
think than what makes me happy. We have
been dating for nearly 9 months now, and I
am only getting closer to him. It hurts
me that they won't open their minds a
little to give him a chance, and it hurts
him because they have no interest in
getting to know him. I'm at my wit's end
right now, because I feel like I have to
chose between my family and my boyfriend.
If anyone has any advice for me, it would
be greatly appreciated. I also want to
know what the forum members feel about
interracial relationships, and multiracial
children. Any input would be great, thank
you.
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KariM18
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jan 2004 Posts: 1436 Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan
Posted: 04-02-04 11:12am
Omg I so feel u! I was dating someone
black and im white. .My parents made it
hell for me. .They never excepted it.
.Eventually we broke up. I dont know if
theres a way to convince parents that its
not bad if thats how their mind is set.
But I know that I would do it again if I
loved someone, I dont care what their skin
color is. Like isaid, I dont know if u
can change them , but that doesnt mean u
have to be like em. Eventually I bet
they would come around, especially once u
had kids.. But u have to remember, their
feelings about that were obviously
developed over a long period of time.
.So it can take a long time to
change.Goodluck hun!! Im 18 too by the
way*
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kat6963420
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Apr 2004 Posts: 38 Location: ohio
Posted: 04-20-04 13:22pm
I know what it is like also. I dated a
black guy in ihgh school and my parents
disapproved of it. Out of high school I
dated a bi-racial man and they had no
problem with it. Your an adult and you
make your own decisions. Don't let your
parents racism ruin your life, especially
when you love this man. If he is good to
you then why would you want ot lose that
just because your parents dont agree. I
had a friend and her father was against
the idea of her dating a black man, with
her being korean. Eventually he realized
he was a good guy and he supported it.
Follow your heart and don't let anyone
tell you who you should or should not be
with.
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oopoopoop
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Posts: 1251 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:2
Posted: 04-22-04 22:27pm
It's important to live your life, and not
to allow your parents' racism and
intolerance keep you from being happy.
Parents can sometimes be overprotective,
so they may try to discourage an
interracial relationship because they are
worried your future life will be
difficult. Other times they are simply
racist. If your parents are being too
protective, or maybe thinking that you are
infatuated with an older, quite glamorous
man, then if you behave maturely and
sensible, they will get used to the idea.
If it's really a race thing, you may just
have to decide that theire opinions are
not something you should be bothered
about.
I have a friend who is from the deep
south. He's a lawyer, and met and fell in
love with another lawyer. She was from
canada, although her parents came from
india. His parents refused to accept the
relationship. Eventually he just said,
tough -- this is the person I want to be
with, who makes me happy. They got
married. His parents refused to attend
the wedding. They have a baby now, and
although his mother has begun to accept
things, his father still refuses to
acknowledge his wife.
The question is -- are those attitudes
worth respecting? If you give in to them,
giving up love and principles, they will
keep thinking they are right.
Be strong and good luck.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 07-19-04 00:46am
The plain truth is you cannot help who you
fall in love with. And color/race does
not matter. Anyone who thinks it does
and will not open their minds are pure
trash.
I happen to know a lot of black women who
date white men. And a lot of white women
who date black men. Who freakin cares?
There isn't any "major plan" behind it.
You just cannot help who you are attracted
to, or who you love.
Anyone who will not accept the
relationship is not worth your time. If
it is your family, yeah that really sucks,
but either they will eventually come
around and wisen up or I guess you were
better off without them.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 07-20-04 12:03pm
I cannot read your private messages!? Are
you on crack? Once again, I cannot
delete your posts/ read your private
messages or anything else for that
matter.
And don't tell me to let it go when you
are the one posting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am active on all of these forums, I do
not purposely post after you. Trust me I
would rather do anything else then get you
started on your "everybody hates me"
crap.
Leave me the freak alone. I do not drive
people away from this site, people like
you do. People who cannot just let other
people post their opinions and let it go.
Just because most people do not agree
with you does not mean that they are
debating nor does it mean that we are all
wrong.
So, you just let it go. And stop making
posts about me.
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bd1012
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 1998
Posted: 07-20-04 13:42pm
Help me, she was not posting towards you
and you need to stop this bs, because it
is even pissing me off! If your name was
in her post, then she was posting towards
you and you are the one who was picking
the debate, and if you don't like her
"debating with you" (in your words, not
mine) then leave it be and don't reply
towards her, even though she is not. It
was quite obvious to me that she was only
posting her opinion which I happen to
share and I was also going to post on here
because it is a topic that I did not see
until now that I feel strongly about.
She prob had the same reasons.
So why don't you just back off and stop
the nonsense!!
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 07-20-04 14:00pm
I did
stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!G
et a freakin
clue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You started all of
this in the first
place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You started
arguing with me about everything. I did
nothing to you. You are only doing this
because you either are niceguy/ or niceguy
told you to. So who is the dummy? Not
me.
You started this all over again with the
post towards me. If you don't want
contact with someone then you do not start
posts about them. That is common
sense.
And that post was not "directed at you"
no, I did not agree with you and your post
was very racist, but I did not mention
your name at all. I stated my opinion
and that is allowed. You are the one who
made a debate out of it.
Grow up!
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 07-20-04 14:05pm
Oh, now you don't know niceguy. You said
in a previous post that he "warned" you
about me.
Just because one black man tells you
something does not make it fact for
everyone. And, personally, I don't
believe that a black man did tell you
that. I believe you said that so that
people would not take your remark
offensively.
That was a very racist remark regardless
of who originally stated it, and I find it
very offensive.
I did leave you alone, you are the one
dragging this out.
