I am a married woman, whose husband does
not enjoy, or want, intercourse. He
attributes it to his age, weight, lack of
being in good physical condition, etc. We
have not been married very long, but, from
what he tells me, this is not a new issue.
He says he has never really enjoyed it,
and would prefer to never do it. Can
anyone tell me how common this is, and
what I should do, as a woman with a very
high sex drive, with a need for
intercourse? He is willing to do oral and
manual stimulation, but that, by itself,
leaves me feeling somewhat "cheated" in
the bedroom. I do not want to cheat on my
marriage, but am not sure how long I can
do without the intimacy and closeness that
intercourse affords.
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speck135les
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2007 Posts: 5 Location: arizona
Posted: 09-06-07 11:38am
IVE BEEN THERE DONE THAT AS I RAISED A
CHILD THAT RESULTED FROM 2 times of
intercourse and thsts all he did in 19
years honey if your not already pregnant
or have children by this man run to the
nearest exit as fast as you can. it will
rob you of your youth and while you may
like practically being a virgin again it
will hurt to have sex again because if you
dont use it you lose it. if he loves you
he'll encourage you to go. if its control
that hes after and your to trusting to
see it he'll erode your life to the point
where theres not much left of it. i was
lucky i had someone waiting for me for 18
years . lonely years for him. where all i
could do was be friends and cherish the
platonic time we had.your drive isnt
neccearily high just normal. as i said
run.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5323 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 64
Thanked:28
Re: Also Need Advice... Posted: 09-06-07 12:03pm
secndmrrg4me
wrote:
I am a married woman, whose
husband does not enjoy, or want,
intercourse. He attributes it to his age,
weight, lack of being in good physical
condition, etc. We have not been married
very long, but, from what he tells me,
this is not a new issue. He says he has
never really enjoyed it, and would prefer
to never do it. Can anyone tell me how
common this is, and what I should do, as a
woman with a very high sex drive, with a
need for intercourse? He is willing to do
oral and manual stimulation, but that, by
itself, leaves me feeling somewhat
"cheated" in the bedroom. I do not want
to cheat on my marriage, but am not sure
how long I can do without the intimacy and
closeness that intercourse
affords.
No, it's not normal for anyone to just not
want sex ever. He should really get
checked out. Low testosterone levels are
suspect, or perhaps depression or any
other of a wide range of mental and
physical illnesses. And if none of that
works, sex therapy.
If he is not motivated to get it fixed,
you need to speak to him about your
concerns and your needs.
|
wazzywoman4ever
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 67 Location: texas, america
I Can Do You One Better Posted: 09-07-07 16:59pm
I am separated and promised /engaged to
remarry to a man who has little or no
interest in a sex life as well
......knowing this does not change my love
for him it has been like pulling teeth to
even get a conversation about us .....but
it has come and we are trying to make a
balance that we can both live with nether
of us want children in this marraige as we
each have grown children out in the
world...so intercourse would not be a
absolute for me nice but just to have him
be a part of my getting off will be enough
its all about choices ....choose to put up
with your man as is or pitch a health
forum and get you both to therapy or a
face to face over coffee and line it out I
need more give me more and I can do this
deny me and I might have to find my peace
of mind in another life that will not
include you ....life is too short to live
it alone in a relationship....thats the
worst to feel alone in the same bed night
and it never changes night after night
....Its the hardest thing to have to go
through and it never gets easier ...so
don't wait till you can't stand it go be
satisfied with or with out him but get
what you need then him or another ,
thankyou the read wazzywoman
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Verylonely
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Apr 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 04-13-08 12:39pm
My wife and I get along very well
together, but we have not had sex in 7-8
years. I have found hand-written listings
of lesbian clubs/bars and she has a number
of female-female relationship movies, such
as Desert Hearts, hidden around the house.
Her expectation seems to be to have our
relationship continue as is, but as much
as I love being with her, I am seeing my
life past very unfullfilled. I am
seriously thinking about seeking an
affair.
|
meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 2113 Location: ,
Thanks: 6
Thanked:2
Posted: 04-13-08 12:54pm
Verylonely
wrote:
My wife and I get along very
well together, but we have not had sex in
7-8 years. I have found hand-written
listings of lesbian clubs/bars and she has
a number of female-female relationship
movies, such as Desert Hearts, hidden
around the house. Her expectation seems to
be to have our relationship continue as
is, but as much as I love being with her,
I am seeing my life past very
unfullfilled. I am seriously thinking
about seeking an
affair.
An affair is not your answer.. Talking to
you wife and telling her your needs or
maybe get some counseling
Do not cheat that is uncalled for and will
only be hurtful and make matters worst and
will not solve anything.
|
Dreadmuse
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Apr 2008 Posts: 13 Location: St. Petersburg, fl usa
Posted: 04-21-08 10:56am
These are alwas touchy situations. I would
recommend (if discussion does not resolve
this) that you seriously consider your
marriage. Denying sex (even if the other
person doesn't like it) is not a good
thing to do. If your marriage is worth it,
but no budging on the physical intimacy...
then perhaps you could look into an open
marriage.
If the marriage is strong and truely about
love, then seperation between the sexual
drive and a loving relationship can be
made. This may be met with harsh
criticism, but there are thousands of
couples that have open marriages. And...
an open marriage with established rules is
far better than some secritive affair.
Communication is the key...
The Dreadful Muse
|
Milo59
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Jan 2008 Posts: 3 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 04-21-08 11:18am
Talk to him, ask him to get help/advise.
There was no intercourse in my marriage
for 12 years due to mental health issues
my wife had. Don't have an affair, i did,
it made things worse, it ended my marrage
and left me suffering from issues of my
own. If you love your husband, be patient
and talk about it to him. Please try, dont
be the fool i was.
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