Bipolar Disorder Forum - My Reluctant Bipolar Mentor.

Hello. I am new here and to my knowledge there is not a way to search this forum, so sorry if I am posting on ground that has been covered already.

A professor of mine, the man who I very humbly consider my mentor, is Bipolar. I know this because he told me, and I promised not to tell anyone because he said "not even the people at school know". I see a therapist (for unipolar depression) and I often ask him questions about my mentor's behavior, but regretfully he is not an expert on Bipolar Disorder.

So here's my pickle: I've only known this man for about a year. I could be wrong, but he seems to be much more harried and unhappy than usual. He is always unhappy (by his own admission), but he usually masks it so well. I understand from books I have read that there is such a thing as a mixed state, where you can have manic energy and productivity while still suffering from depression. I'm not a doctor but I'd guess that's what he normally is.

He occasionally mentions things to me like "I haven't eaten in a few days because I was depressed" or "I feel bad on any given day". Yet whenever I try (tactfully) to ask him more about it I get bushwhacked.

I'm not his family, nor am I his significant other. I am just a friend, and there's quite an age gap between us as well (he is 52, I am 23). He's been diagnosed Bipolar for 30 years or so. I believe he faithfully takes his medicine, but have never discussed it with him. He is divorced and lives by himself. He seems to be estranged from his son (who is 23, like me). I think he has a girlfriend (his own age) but I have no idea whether or not she knows of his diagnosis. In other words, I don't know if she is helping him or not. He can be very proud.

So here are some questions I have, if you'd be so kind:

He volunteers information about what he's going through, but I am not allowed to ask questions. It's tough for me to restrain myself, partly because I care and partly because of curiosity. I have no desire to pry. What suggestions do you have to help me respect his boundaries but at the same time be supportive when he decides to break them?

I keep feeling broken hearted that he is pushing me away, when just a few months ago we seemed to be really tight. How do you come to terms with such a change? I feel like it's my fault, that perhaps he shuts people out for a good reason and I got too close.

He's not my responsibility. But for whatever reason he did tell me, and now I am his "secret-keeper". For those of you on this forum who are also Bipolar: that's not something you just let slip, is it? I've read four or five books on BD and it seems like that is precious information you give to only a few people whom you really care about and trust.

I am sorry about the length of this post. I needed to spill all this. I find it very stressful to understand and cope with his secret. I hope you will not take offense but I am operating under a pseudonym while I am here, to ensure the anonymity of my friend.

I want to do what I can to help and not be a burden to him. Any insight or advice would be a great relief to me. Thank you very much.

Esther