Sometimes I Just Want to Attack Someone, And It's Not Sz Posted: 09-11-07 06:35am
I do have SZ. I was diagnosed when I was
18 (3 yrs ago). I was really bad for a
while. Couldn't go outside, my landlord
was spying on me - he had a key to my
apartment so I was paranoid... He was the
leader of the conspiracy... How could I
let him do that? I HAD to stop him before
he got me.
My voices were telling me some bad stuff.
I've been taking my meds (off and on) and
by and large I've been great lately. You
know how this story goes though... I'm
feeling better so I stop taking my meds -
then my eyes are open to the "truth" again
and I won't start taking them and it
starts all over again.
I'm back on the meds, but I still have to
deal with these voices (but not as much).
When I say I want to attack someone what I
mean is I'm so damn tired of people who
don't know me telling me that everyone
hears a little voice in the back of their
head telling them to do things. NO! I
PROMISE you that most people don't have to
listen to the stuff we have to. I hate it
when they tell me, "just don't listen to
them." FINALLY! The cure to SZ!! "Just
don't listen to them." It's so simple! It
makes me sick to think that these people
think that just because I have a mental
condition that they can give me medical
advice. I'm schizophrenic, not retarded.
Do they think that I just hadn't thought
to ignore them? It makes me want to force
the literature down their throats.
I don't go out much when I'm feeling
paranoid because I'm afraid of what will
happen. I don't go out much when I'm
feeling good because I don't want to have
to body slam someone for telling me that
same old stuff about "everyone has a
voice" and "ignore them"
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
Thanks: 4
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-11-07 11:02am
The fact that you're sick is not to be
advertised to the population at large.
Even friends have to be screened. After
getting to know someone you have to judge
whether they will react stupidly or not to
your sickness, and it's best to keep on
the safe side. Best way to not get stupid
answers: don't tell anyone!
I don't advertise it to everyone. I'm
talking about a particular person. My
brother. He wants to beleive that I'm
making it up. That nothing is wrong with
me. I think he wants to beleive that I'm
really okay, but I make this stuff up
for... attention? I don't know why he
thinks I would make it up, but he doesn't
really beleive in mental illness unless it
has some obvious result that you can see
from a mile away. Sure, retarded kids have
a problem, they're in wheelchairs drooling
on themselves. but clinical depression?
no, your a little sad, everyone has a
little voice in the back of their head,
and that everyone can be
obessive-compulsive about some things. He
won't admit that those are real disorders.
That you may not be able to talk your way
out of them. It's a real condition with
real symptoms, and you need to treat it
like all other diseases meds (and
therapy). It upsets me that he doesn't
understand. He thinks I'm lying about it,
that I, for some reason, want to have to
deal with this. He just doesn't get it. I
feel like he doesn't really know me.
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mkor4
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 May 2007 Posts: 21
Posted: 09-14-07 09:56am
kyreles
wrote:
I don't advertise it to
everyone. I'm talking about a particular
person. My brother. He wants to beleive
that I'm making it up. That nothing is
wrong with me. I think he wants to beleive
that I'm really okay, but I make this
stuff up for... attention? I don't know
why he thinks I would make it up, but he
doesn't really beleive in mental illness
unless it has some obvious result that you
can see from a mile away. Sure, retarded
kids have a problem, they're in
wheelchairs drooling on themselves. but
clinical depression? no, your a little
sad, everyone has a little voice in the
back of their head, and that everyone can
be obessive-compulsive about some things.
He won't admit that those are real
disorders. That you may not be able to
talk your way out of them. It's a real
condition with real symptoms, and you need
to treat it like all other diseases meds
(and therapy). It upsets me that he
doesn't understand. He thinks I'm lying
about it, that I, for some reason, want to
have to deal with this. He just doesn't
get it. I feel like he doesn't really know
me.
Yeah,alot of people seem to be like
that.Theyve never experienced mental
illness or anything severe like that but
they love telling people that they can
cure it with
positivity,motivation,exercise,st johns
wort,etc.While some of these things may
help its only when someone experiences
something horrific like this that they
then understand you cant just get rid of
it by taking noni juice or whatever.im
very sorry about your frustration/upset
about your brother not understanding.i
wish people would listen more to the
person having the experience instead of
giving advice/or indirectly saying"its no
big deal"
