I Don't Think I'm Going to Make It This Time Posted: 09-13-07 18:07pm
I am a 38 year old nursing student who is
also a single mother. I have a college
degree and recently sold my home to return
to college.
I haven't dated anyone since my daughter
was born 3 years ago, and I recently ran
into someone I dated briefly, he asked me
out and I accepted.
We had all of 3 dates, and out of the blue
he said, "I'm not expecting anything from
you and I hope you aren't expecting
anything out of me."
I wasn't wanting this guy as a boyfriend,
but I keep meeting guys like him...all
they want to do is spend time with me
until they can move onto something better,
and they ALWAYS find something better.
I have had two other guys ask me out in
three years, and both pretty much bolted
as soon as they found out I had a child.
I just don't know if I can face being
alone for the rest of my life and the
older I get the more of a certainty that
is starting to look like. Every guy I go
out with dumps me...every single one of
them. They always leave me for someone
else.
I just don't know how I can take much more
of this, and I can't be a good mother to
my child if I'm upseet all the time. I
don't have any friends, because they are
all married, and never want to spend time
with me, but they find tons of time to
spend with their other married friends.
Half the time they don't want to return my
calls or emails.
I just don't feel like going on like this
anymore...I think that my daughter is
young and if I die she'll only miss me for
a little while before she'll forget about
me and be with a new family that will take
care of her and love her.
I just don't know why this keeps
happening.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-13-07 18:15pm
doesnt your daughter mean the world to
you?
isnt she the best companion you could ever
have? she needs you and you need her. and
you both love each other
all she has in life is you
dont take her life away from her just
because you keep running into jerks
take your time with life and stop trying
to force everything to fit together
it will when its ready
|
Keeba88
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007 Posts: 223 Location: ,
Posted: 09-13-07 18:43pm
I agree....
Life has its ups and downs!
And your daughter is an up!! Let me tell
you a child is the best present anyone
could ever have in life. I think you just
need to take a deep breath and think about
what it would be like for your daughter to
grow up with out her mommy. Think of how
hard that would be for her. She doesn't
deserve that just because, like previously
stated, your running into jerks. And i
dont understand why youhaving a kid should
make them run. I have a friend thats 20
and she has a two year old daughter and
for some reason it doesn't scare the guys
away. And your old enough to where having
a child shouldn't be a big deal to
someone.
If you don't mind me asking....where do
you find these guys?
Maybe you should try meeting someone
online, if that isn't where u met these
other guys. You know like one of the sites
where you enter things in, what you want
in a significant other, what you like ect.
Then they pair you up with someone similar
to you. My mom just did that and shes been
seeing this guy for about a month now and
its going great! She has me (19yrs old)
and an older and younger daughter also (15
or 20 years old). He loves that shes got
kids. He doesn't have any and has been
married twice already. My mom says shes in
love already....after a month! Thats a
little extreme if you ask me. But yea they
tell eachother they love eachother and
that they are both the best thing that
ever happened to eachother blah blah
blah.
But maybe you could try something like
that, but then again maybe thats just not
the type of person you are!?
|
lonestarguy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 592 Location: , Hoosierland, USA
Thanks: 10
Thanked:1
Posted: 09-13-07 19:19pm
justme99
wrote:
I am a 38 year old nursing
student who is also a single mother. I
have a college degree and recently sold my
home to return to college.
I haven't dated anyone since my daughter
was born 3 years ago, and I recently ran
into someone I dated briefly, he asked me
out and I accepted.
We had all of 3 dates, and out of the blue
he said, "I'm not expecting anything from
you and I hope you aren't expecting
anything out of me."
I wasn't wanting this guy as a boyfriend,
but I keep meeting guys like him...all
they want to do is spend time with me
until they can move onto something better,
and they ALWAYS find something better.
I have had two other guys ask me out in
three years, and both pretty much bolted
as soon as they found out I had a child.
I just don't know if I can face being
alone for the rest of my life and the
older I get the more of a certainty that
is starting to look like. Every guy I go
out with dumps me...every single one of
them. They always leave me for someone
else.
I just don't know how I can take much more
of this, and I can't be a good mother to
my child if I'm upseet all the time. I
don't have any friends, because they are
all married, and never want to spend time
with me, but they find tons of time to
spend with their other married friends.
Half the time they don't want to return my
calls or emails.
I just don't feel like going on like this
anymore...I think that my daughter is
young and if I die she'll only miss me for
a little while before she'll forget about
me and be with a new family that will take
care of her and love her.
I just don't know why this keeps
happening.
I think the outlook of both posters before
me is right. You should put you daughter
ahead of any other factor.
I would like to ask a ccouple of questions
just to fill in some holes if I might:
1. Where is the baby's father? What
happened there?
2. You didn't have a baby until you were
35. What happened in the previous years.
Were you married?
3. What makes you think your daughter
won't miss you?
Now, your present situation. Did you not
expect to be a single mother at 35? Well,
now it's three years later and you are 38.
You are just going through a down spell.
There are still men who aren't scared off
by a baby. You just have to find one.
If you've had boyfriends, then you
obviously know how to find them and
attract them. Maybe you just need to find
these next men in a new location. Online
dating is a possibility.
My son met his wife online and she had a
son. Don't give up hope because the
perfect guy could be right around the
corner. There are a lot of good catches
online--some are just shy around women.
