I have three daughter, they are all
bright, pretty, and hard workers, except
one. don't get me wrong,she is perfect
when she is not lying. She tells so much I
don't think she knows what is true and
what isn't. She tells people really bad
things about other people, she starts
drama everyday. i love her but I really
would like her to move out. I know that
sound really bad, but her lies really hurt
all of us. What can I do??? Please help
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Posted: 09-13-07 19:54pm
how old is she?
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hapymard
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2007 Posts: 5
My Daughter Lies Posted: 09-13-07 20:02pm
She is 18
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young Girl
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Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Re: My Daughter Lies Posted: 09-13-07 20:05pm
hapymard
wrote:
She is
18
sounds like she has a
self esteem problem and thats why she lies
so much... that could be a big
possibility
she should be seen by a counselor
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Marianne0558
Supporter
Joined: 10 Sep 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: Charleston, SC USA
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Re: My Daughter Lies Posted: 09-13-07 20:08pm
hapymard
wrote:
I have three daughter, they
are all bright, pretty, and hard workers,
except one. don't get me wrong,she is
perfect when she is not lying. She tells
so much I don't think she knows what is
true and what isn't. She tells people
really bad things about other people, she
starts drama everyday. i love her but I
really would like her to move out. I know
that sound really bad, but her lies really
hurt all of us. What can I do??? Please
help
This worked for my nephew.... but he is
only 10. 18 year olds (girls) are
especially different.
He would lie ALL the time. About
everything. What I did was set him up. I
told him we would be going to Chuck E.
Cheese or something fun like that. I got
him very excited about it all day long.
Then, around evening time, he asked when
we'd be going. I said, "Sorry, I lied."
"You see how that hurts people's feelings
when you lie to them? How I made you feel
is how you make people feel when you lie
to them."
It worked.
Can't say it would work with an 18 year
old though.
Maybe tell her you're taking her on a
shopping spree at the end of the month or
something.
I dunno, sounds like a stupid idea now
that I read what I wrote, lol.
At least I could provide a laugh, if
anything
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hapymard
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2007 Posts: 5
Daughter Lies Posted: 09-13-07 20:09pm
Were so I start to look for help
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Marianne0558
Supporter
Joined: 10 Sep 2007 Posts: 1743 Location: Charleston, SC USA
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Posted: 09-13-07 20:11pm
Well, being 18-she is an adult.
Maybe seek behavioral therapy or
something.
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young Girl
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Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
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Re: Daughter Lies Posted: 09-13-07 20:12pm
hapymard
wrote:
Were so I start to look for
help
call a few counselors who you could take
her in to see
you need to find out why shes lying and
whats causeing it
if it is a self esteem prob it could get
worse down the road and go from lying to
other things
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hapymard
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2007 Posts: 5
Daughter Lies Posted: 09-13-07 20:14pm
thanks I'll try anything. I hope it works.
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Tmddyan
Moderator
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 4349 Location: post falls, id usa
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Hey Posted: 09-14-07 12:36pm
it may be that she gets a kind of joy out
of lying. its a bad habit. I would tell
her to move out and when she asks why tell
her--you cant trust her. if she wants to
lie, she should face the hard reality of
life. counseling would be good. i, having
taken behavioral management, would say to
ignor her when she lies but that wouldnt
work cause you cant tell and youd be
ignoring her all the time. she is 18, that
is old enough to have a job and have her
own place. I wouldnt help her financially
cause how could you tell if she really
needed help or not if she is just gonna
lie. I say let her face life the way it
really is and to not put up with it any
longer.
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hapymard
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2007 Posts: 5
Daughter Lies Posted: 09-25-07 18:56pm
She is now seeing a doctor
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BuildABetterLife
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Sep 2007 Posts: 12 Location: Atlanta, GA USA
Re: Hey Posted: 10-14-07 20:02pm
dyanmatteson
wrote:
it may be that she gets a
kind of joy out of lying. its a bad habit.
I would tell her to move out and when she
asks why tell her--you cant trust her. if
she wants to lie, she should face the hard
reality of life. counseling would be good.
i, having taken behavioral management,
would say to ignor her when she lies but
that wouldnt work cause you cant tell and
youd be ignoring her all the time. she is
18, that is old enough to have a job and
have her own place. I wouldnt help her
financially cause how could you tell if
she really needed help or not if she is
just gonna lie. I say let her face life
the way it really is and to not put up
with it any
longer.
Behavioral manipulation does little to
change the internal state of a person.
Ignoring is a technique, not a concept.
Techniques are not applicable to every
situation.
Behavioral therapy has it's place but it
is NOT the cure-all that it is often
claimed to be, and there are many reasons
why it does not work for
She very likely has issues with self
awareness, boundaries, and self esteem.
These are inner issues that behavioral
therapy cannot fix.
As such, she may even have a tempermental
conflict with her family, meaning the
hard-wired aspect of her emotional
personality (which cannot be changed) may
be so different from her family members
that she feels alienated, and starts drama
in order to get attention and feel
validated for having a naturally different
personality style.
(Half of a person's personality is
determined genetically at birth, the other
half is filled in with life experience.)
She needs to learn to develop stronger
personal boundaries so that she is not
spewing negative energy at other people in
an attempt to get her unfulfilled needs
met.
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Tmddyan
Moderator
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 4349 Location: post falls, id usa
Thanks: 93
Thanked:63
Posted: 10-15-07 15:15pm
have you taken behavior management? if not
perhaps you should take it befor yousay
that it doesnt work--i never said it was a
cure.
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WShep
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 67 Location: SoCal, USA
Posted: 10-15-07 16:20pm
Sometimes when my parents and I talk about
the horrid days of my adolescence, they
look horrified as I offer some narrative
that isnt rooted in any reality except my
own.
Habitual lying was a serious issue for ME
and some of the memories I have.....are
nothing but lies. I robbed myself of life
experiences that, while negative, would
have made a much different impact on me as
a person. Your decision to seek help was
a positive move in my opinion.
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Tmddyan
Moderator
Joined: 13 Jun 2006 Posts: 4349 Location: post falls, id usa
