Depression: I Feel Ugly, Alone, And What I Want I Can't Have Posted: 09-15-07 01:15am
I don't know why I came to this forum, but
I am tired of living alone with this in my
heart... I just feel ugly. Sometimes I
don't, but other times I just really do.
Asking my mom doesn't help much, she's
never going to tell me the truth. I guess
it's hard for me to judge myself too since
every time I feel I look "okay" about
myself and see I am in decent shape but
then I get a picture taken or mess with my
webcam and I get deeply depressed about my
looks. The worst part which will seem
trival to some people here is I am so
deeply, darkly in love with gothic women.
I am super infatuated with that look and
their interests. When I was little I liked
women like that. It's just something
that's never left me and I am in my late
20's now. Those girls all want super hot
guys or something I think. I have tried SO
hard to find one to date and I am always
turned down or away and my interests and
heart, and how I see things is always the
same as these girls until we meet and they
end up not liking me. Sometimes I feel
that not liking myself is projecting a bad
vibe, and other times I feel that whole
method of thinking is stupid, and people
write lame inspirational books and movies
like the Secret just to rip people off and
give them hope. Still I've been trying to
discover the truth about myself so now I'm
here on this forum.
I just don't know what to do. I cry so
much and my desires as I mentioned only
make it worse. I don't want to be alone.
I don't know how to meet people. I used to
be really out-going than that part of me
just died. I used to love to drive too,
but then I witnessed a VERY BAD accident
that just traumatized me to death and
driving has become a total turn off. Am I
wrong to feel this way? I will be alone
forever at this rate and it's so painful I
just wish I would die in my sleep or
something. I won't commit suicide because
it would hurt my mother but it's so hard
to just make it through the day lately.
I've started playing games online more and
I found some stupid virtual sort of world
game but I don't know, feels wrong to me.
I just hoped the type of girl I like would
fall in love with me, and see me for the
beautiful person I am inside. I totally
love who I am inside, just not out. It's
not the true me. I hate it so much that I
am not the guy I want to be.
I've taken all kinds of drugs from doctors
for this depression but they NEVER help. I
think it's because my views are justified
and not just all in my head, thus the
drugs aren't affecting anything... and
would I want them to? I want to feel good
about myself through natural means, not
drugs.
I really don't know what else to say. I
just got tired of searching the net for
some hope , and I've been doing it for
almost 9 months now and finally I decided
to post on a public forum, so you all can
laugh. I am even holding back on how much
I truly hate myself. I wish i could be
honest in words as I am in my mind about
how I feel. My heart breaks every time I
see a goth girl with some jerk who just
treats the wrong and does not appreciate
them like I would. I just don't see
myself ever finding anyone and even if I
do see someone, because I FEAR driving on
top of being ugly and being a starving
artist type, I don't think I will ever
meet anyone. My mother will die someday,
the only family I have, and I will be
completely alone.
|
Juan Toobie Healthy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 26 Location: Midwestern US
Posted: 09-15-07 02:45am
My suggestion would be to try not to get
sucked into the virtual world. Get out
more. Get involved in things that interest
you. Be more outgoing. If you are shy,
most people will shy away from you.
Another suggestion is to be more confident
in yourself. Self-confidence is hard to
just develope overnight, but it is
achievable. You say that you're a good
person. That's a strength. Everybody has
their own qualities that make them
special. Search yourself and find what's
special in you. Use these things to
validate your self worth. This will help
boost your confidence. Also, like I did at
one time, you can fake it. You walk into a
room with your chest out, head up, and a
smile on your face. Make small talk with
strangers. Go talk to the goth girl across
the room that you'd normally just admire
from afar. Whatever you do, don't put
yourself down. You may have to force
yourself to do all this at first, but it
will pay off. People see you as you
portray yourself. They feed off your
energy. You may still be insecure on the
inside, but if you act like you have
confidence people will see you more
attractively. After a while you'll get
your self-esteem up and it'll all come
natural to you. Trust me, I don't have a
psyche degree, I don't write books on the
subject, and I don't claim to be any kind
of expert. I'm just a guy who was in your
shoes and I found a way to snap out of the
rut I was in. I figured all this out as a
fluke, but it really worked!
One more suggestion... Study women. Find
out what makes them tick. Learn what their
turn-ons are. Figure out what drives them
and try to understand them. Be attentive
to their wants and needs. You can probably
get a lot of information from members on
this site. Go to the dating forum on here
and ask questions. Also watch how other
guys interact with women and see what
works and what doesn't. Listen to womens'
conversations to each other and take
mental notes. Understanding women and
being attentive to their wants and needs
will get you everywhere.
Good luck asleep_by_dawn!
|
flip
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Aug 2007 Posts: 9 Location: ,
Re: I Feel Ugly, Alone, And What I Want I Can't Have Posted: 09-15-07 02:46am
asleep_by_dawn
wrote:
I don't know why I came to
this forum, but I am tired of living alone
with this in my heart... I just feel
ugly. Sometimes I don't, but other times I
just really do. Asking my mom doesn't help
much, she's never going to tell me the
truth. I guess it's hard for me to judge
myself too since every time I feel I look
"okay" about myself and see I am in decent
shape but then I get a picture taken or
mess with my webcam and I get deeply
depressed about my looks. The worst part
which will seem trival to some people here
is I am so deeply, darkly in love with
gothic women. I am super infatuated with
that look and their interests. When I was
little I liked women like that. It's just
something that's never left me and I am in
my late 20's now. Those girls all want
super hot guys or something I think. I
have tried SO hard to find one to date and
I am always turned down or away and my
interests and heart, and how I see things
is always the same as these girls until we
meet and they end up not liking me.
Sometimes I feel that not liking myself is
projecting a bad vibe, and other times I
feel that whole method of thinking is
stupid, and people write lame
inspirational books and movies like the
Secret just to rip people off and give
them hope. Still I've been trying to
discover the truth about myself so now I'm
here on this forum.
I just don't know what to do. I cry so
much and my desires as I mentioned only
make it worse. I don't want to be alone.
I don't know how to meet people. I used to
be really out-going than that part of me
just died. I used to love to drive too,
but then I witnessed a VERY BAD accident
that just traumatized me to death and
driving has become a total turn off. Am I
wrong to feel this way? I will be alone
forever at this rate and it's so painful I
just wish I would die in my sleep or
something. I won't commit suicide because
it would hurt my mother but it's so hard
to just make it through the day lately.
I've started playing games online more and
I found some stupid virtual sort of world
game but I don't know, feels wrong to me.
I just hoped the type of girl I like would
fall in love with me, and see me for the
beautiful person I am inside. I totally
love who I am inside, just not out. It's
not the true me. I hate it so much that I
am not the guy I want to be.
I've taken all kinds of drugs from doctors
for this depression but they NEVER help. I
think it's because my views are justified
and not just all in my head, thus the
drugs aren't affecting anything... and
would I want them to? I want to feel good
about myself through natural means, not
drugs.
I really don't know what else to say. I
just got tired of searching the net for
some hope , and I've been doing it for
almost 9 months now and finally I decided
to post on a public forum, so you all can
laugh. I am even holding back on how much
I truly hate myself. I wish i could be
honest in words as I am in my mind about
how I feel. My heart breaks every time I
see a goth girl with some jerk who just
treats the wrong and does not appreciate
them like I would. I just don't see
myself ever finding anyone and even if I
do see someone, because I FEAR driving on
top of being ugly and being a starving
artist type, I don't think I will ever
meet anyone. My mother will die someday,
the only family I have, and I will be
completely
alone.
so sad.....your life story... is this true
or should i say is that true???
you know what? all you think are purely
your imagination...
take this advice..."everyone of us has
their soulmate" so meaning to say you have
one...dont worry to much...ur a guy not a
girl so dont worry to much...
me i am in my late 20's and i am a girl
and also i am not that beautiful but not
that so ugly....i dont think it too much
coz i believe that i will find my
soulmate...
i think looks is matter but honestly there
is someone out there who'll see the truth
inside of you..the real you...not the
physical appearance you have..just
maintain your real attitude as long as
your good person in heart i am sure you
will find your partner in life...
goodluck and wish you all the best in the
world..
|
asleep_by_dawn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-15-07 06:19am
Well actually I used to go out all the
time. I just got tired of people
occasionally making a rude comment about
me. I know women well just when it comes
to dating I don't seem to be attractive
enough or something. I've has people say
some rude things to me and I didn't think
I was all that horrible but total
strangers have said the same rude comments
so I am starting to believe it. It's hard
to go out when you don't want to drive. I
stated my reasons and until I get over
that IF i do.. who knows. The status quo
doesn't impress me as most do drive. To me
the day I saw that accident I saw that
driving was the wrong thing for me. No
one on this planet can say it's the "best"
method of travel it's just what's there.
It's killing the planet anyway.
Aside from that, you know i just get so
depressed about not having what I want so
bad. I am so tired of dreaming about it,
so tired of seeing other people have it
and hating to even look in the mirror at
myself I've never had problems
approaching girls it's just the kind I
like are hard to find. The others turn me
on about as much as a bullet in the head.
I have liked what I liked all my life it
is in my heart and very soul. It's just so
depressing as the years go by and time
disappears and I am still not with her.
I keep using positive thinking and I'm a
good person too. Yet I will go out, be in
a store and sometimes someone will say
something rude about me. Or girls just
don't look at me as much as other guys,
and those guys they look at hate the kind
of girl they are, and I love it with all
my heart.
I really don't know what the deal is with
me anymore. I feel lost and I don't know
who I am. I feel trapped in a body that
isn't even who I want to be. I'm so
beautiful inside and I'm unsure outside, i
just feel something isn't right by the
comments people have made and the fact I
am alone. I guess I should have clarified
I had dated a lot before. Then for 4 years
it stopped. Asking girls out failed and
the comments about my looks etc. I really
do take care of myself too. I don't know
what the hell is wrong
I just feel like there's this screaming in
my head and my hearts aching so bad and i
hate waking up. Once my mom is gone which
I don't even want to think about, I have
nothing tying me to being here anymore. I
dont' want to be one of those lonely
people working some lame dead end job,
being told what to do by some stranger.
It's not how I operate. I think I could
get by with my art, but when I face a
mirror and feel like dying or see a female
I'd love to be with and can't be, I don't
know to me love and creation are the most
important things. I have no love and that
hurts my creativity. I guess no one is
getting what I was saying in my initial
post. I appreciate the replies though and
maybe I am just so upset I can't really
write how I feel inside. It's hard to be
good with words, when you don't talk to
anyone at all or have any desire to go out
because it's depressing just to see other
couples together.
|
Juan Toobie Healthy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 26 Location: Midwestern US
Posted: 09-15-07 20:04pm
I'm surprised you're having a hard time
finding artistic inspiration. Depression
is a strong emotion. Most of the world's
greatest artists were depressed.
Expressing yourself through your art would
probably be theraputic too.
I didn't know that you had an active
dating life in the past. Why did it just
stop? You're still the same person. If you
don't mind me asking, (keep in mind that
you're totally anonomus here) what kind of
comments are people making about you?
I understand the phobia of driving. Many
people have phobias, mine was heights. The
only way to overcome your fears is by
facing them. That is extremely difficult,
but can be done in baby steps. It sounds
to me like you feel like you don't fit in
with everyone else. Maybe that's your
attraction to goth's? My feeling is that
you face a fear of rejection that's just
as strong as your fear of driving.
Like I said before, I'm no expert. I'm not
claiming I know everything and I'm not
going to push anything on you. You have to
push yourself to go outside your comfort
zone. I offer suggestions by what worked
for me. I wanted to make things better and
I did. If you don't want to help yourself,
no one else can help you.
|
asleep_by_dawn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-15-07 20:44pm
I really work bad (in terms of art) when I
am depressed. I know a lot of artists have
drawn on their negative feelings to create
"masterpieces" but that never worked for
me. Depression just closes me off.
As for way I stopped... well I was with
someone for a long time, and I just was
lucky I found them. They really helped
bring me out of my shell, so to speak.
When I lost them, I was working a
corporate job I no longer have
(thankfully) and work and the years going
by alone (it was a lot of work) just sort
of put me out of connection with people. I
mean I did see the occasional girl I
liked, and I tried so very hard to make a
connection but it failed. They never
seemed interested in me on top of some
negative comments back that I didn't even
deserve. I always had thought of myself as
fairly charming but I guess some people
don't see it.
As for driving like I said I view it as
wrong (now) as vegetarians view eating
meat. It's just to me the wrong method and
I believe someday something better will be
created. Environmentally speaking driving
isn't good at all.
I know the comments like, "comfort zone"
and such, but it's not that. I am just who
I am. If i were to get into who I am,
you'd probably give me some doctor phil
advise. Personally I hate the guy. I'm not
saying I hate you just most advice people
give is for the normal, and normal as we
all know is majority rules. I am tired of
people looking at how I am as not the norm
because it's different than the
mainstream. I really am happy with my
choices I can control and I want a woman
like that too. That and the ugly stuff is
TWO different things.
People have said negative things to me,
strangers, people I meet etc. Everytime I
mess with my webcam or get a picture taken
it floors me and I am depressed so damn
deeply. I can understand as an artist the
difference between taking bad photos and
being unattractive. There's structures
there you come to recognize as attractive
or not. I just don't know if my mind is
clouded or what.
I've seen therapists and I've gone out of
my "comfort zone" so many times and it
results in either nothing happening at all
or complete let-downs that push me deeper
into my depression, and realization of my
worst fears that maybe I just am a zero.
I know looks aren't everything but I have
a right to say what I am saying and I have
a right to feel it.
I'm tired of being alone, hating myself,
not being with the type of person I want
to be with and pretty much seems like no
matter where I go everyone gives me the
same answers that don't help me. Not
everyone is the same you know? The same
methods don't always work. Most people
can't think outside the box I suppose so
they cling to these decaying beliefs. I
am not here to argue points, I just wanted
to see if someone could help. I am open to
searching anywhere for answers and help.
I've traveled a long path for many years.
Each road always coming to a dead end. I'm
desperate at this point and would do just
about anything to have what I want, no
matter that price... if someone offered me
my dreams.
|
Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-15-07 23:36pm
Goths being taken by hot guys? Damn, our
environments are different.
Okay, so sorry to sound like a friend in
this advice but, yeah, you need a car if
you want to date. Give up the hippie crap,
because you alone not driving your car
isn't going to do ANYTHING for the
environment. Oil is going to run out
before cars do any serious damage. So get
over your phobia and environmentalist
philosophy and buy a damn car. If you feel
so bad then buy a hybrid and join an
environmentalist organization or
something.
Second, how are you different from
mainstream? I'd strongly suggest to look
mainstream. This will probably help. Go
norm.
Third, how exactly are your thoughts on
your unattractiveness? Body weight, skin,
hair, etc.? You can usually do a few
tricks that will drastically help your
appearance.
|
asleep_by_dawn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-16-07 00:06am
That isn't a hippy remark. If you saw
someone's body cut in half by a door it
would medical question you up too. That is
what I saw. It was the most horrifying
thing i ever saw. It looks nothing like
gore in movies. I didn't ask for opinions
on driving and I LIKE who I am on the
inside. As for the outside Ijust don't
like how I look and people have said
comments before about the things I
dislike. My body is fine itself, my hair
is good just I never like the style but
hair isn't my worry.
If I have a trauma about something saying
"get over it" isn't helping me at all. It
really bothers me and you are you and I am
me. I've tried to work through it. After
seeing that I actually suffered from
severe anxiety and death issues. If I even
get behind a wheel I panic and lose
control. Not a wise thing to do!!!
My problems are pretty severe and I'm
happy I didn't describe them in full since
someone with the name uselessness is
reading. Seriously, if I drive again it'll
be when I'm ready. I don't know why the
guy always has to drive anyway. That's not
the problem since I never get past step
one of just meeting someone I would like
to get to know. As for mainstream I meant
mainstream methods of dealing with things.
They don't work for everyone. I'm not a
damn robot. Thanks for the wasted reply.
If I had the to guts to say what I really
felt but can't in fear they will hand
over my IP address to the police and I'll
get arrested for threatening to do
something to myself I would. I have not
stated I ever would. I am really DOWN
about things and your reply was not what I
needed.
|
Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-16-07 00:25am
asleep_by_dawn
wrote:
That isn't a hippy remark.
If you saw someone's body cut in half by a
door it would whoops you up too. That is
what I saw. It was the most horrifying
thing i ever saw. It looks nothing like
gore in movies. I didn't ask for opinions
on driving and I LIKE who I am on the
inside. As for the outside Ijust don't
like how I look and people have said
comments before about the things I
dislike. My body is fine itself, my hair
is good just I never like the style but
hair isn't my worry.
If I have a trauma about something saying
"get over it" isn't helping me at all. It
really bothers me and you are you and I am
me. I've tried to work through it. After
seeing that I actually suffered from
severe anxiety and death issues. If I even
get behind a wheel I panic and lose
control. Not a wise thing to do!!!
My problems are pretty severe and I'm
happy I didn't describe them in full since
someone with the name uselessness is
reading. Seriously, if I drive again it'll
be when I'm ready. I don't know why the
guy always has to drive anyway. That's not
the problem since I never get past step
one of just meeting someone I would like
to get to know. As for mainstream I meant
mainstream methods of dealing with things.
They don't work for everyone. I'm not a
bless robot. Thanks for the wasted reply.
If I had the to guts to say what I really
felt but can't in fear they will hand
over my IP address to the police and I'll
get arrested for threatening to do
something to myself I would. I have not
stated I ever would. I am really DOWN
about things and your reply was not what I
needed.
Oh, sorry for the misunderstanding. I
thought I derived from your posts that the
MAIN reason you don't drive is because of
the environment. I'm sorry to hear about
what you saw. I'm sure that would
traumatize anyone. All I'm trying to say
is not having a car would be a huge
disadvantage in the dating world. I'm very
sorry for sounding rude/arrogant in that
post. Get in a car whenever you feel
ready.
So, what exactly makes you ugly to
yourself? Is it anything you can fix?
The name "uselessness" comes from my role
in sexual selection. Quick science lesson:
natural selection is a way to weed out
deformed or otherwise naturally weak
organisms from the gene pool (because
they'll not be able to survive in the wild
because they'll either starve or be
killed). It's basically survival of the
fittest. Now, because humans have been
able to get past natural selection, sexual
selection is very much more highlightened.
Sexual selection is how organisms choose
who to mate with. Because of natural
selection doesn't take place in people,
ugly people aren't supposed to pass their
genes even if they are genetically
superior in some other way. So, instead of
being killed, ugly people will just die
without ever having offspring. That's me.
So, the main population is supposed to
have sex and have children and I'm just
supposed to live out my life and die. I am
uselessness in nature.
|
asleep_by_dawn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-16-07 00:42am
Like I said people just have made bad
comments before. Let me ask you this or
anyone here, and maybe you will or just
won't agree, but ever feel like you are
okay looking then one day you wake up and
you just hate how you look? Or you accept
you're "average" or something and not ugly
really, so you are going about your life
and then some ass comes up to you or
someone you know says your ugly or
unattractive? I'm serious one person came
up to me and just totally put me down. I
remember telling a friend and they said
they probably just were feeling bad about
themselves but that just seems unlikely.
You don't just go up to someone in a
retail store and say "hey you're ugly"
"haha" basically. I curse that jerk that
did that. Thing is girls I go up to end up
saying something about my looks or not
attracted. I know this is common I mean if
some non gothic "hot" celebrity came up to
me I'd say I'm not attracted to them, but
I mean it gets depressing when I hear it
so often. I am SO tired of being alone and
sitting here alone wasting years of my
life. I go to doctors, i talk to my
mother, I try talking to anyone who will
listen and they just give me the same
stupid advice that I've acted on before
and ended up being shot down being called
names or it just not working for me.
I don't know what to do anymore. I am SO
sad and I sleep so much. My mind is like a
drug addict hung up on these certain types
of girls, since I was a kid. It's never
going to leave me. I guess to me any girl
not like the ones I described is about as
attractive to me as another guy. Weird
maybe but that is how I am and I am really
happy with the kind of girls I like.
Besides for fun I've tried dating "normal"
girls, but they gave me the same problems.
I got lucky 4 times in my life and dated
pretty, intelligent and kind women but
it's been so long since the last one... I
think 4 years. I tried dating since,
probably over 500 people, and I always get
shot down. I always go up to people I am
interested in, I always try to make a
connection but nothing works. I'm not
trying hard either, I'm pretty casual
about it. I really don't know how to word
how LOST I feel inside about everything. I
won't kill myself but I sure wish I was
dead. There's no point to living. I saw
the last Star Wars.. I mean I Am Legend is
coming up, love that book. After holding
out for that, what point is there? That
isn't a joke either. Maybe I use movies or
events as excuses to hold on a little
longer and not kill myself. I really don't
know.
|
Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-16-07 01:27am
asleep_by_dawn
wrote:
Like I said people just have
made bad comments before. Let me ask you
this or anyone here, and maybe you will or
just won't agree, but ever feel like you
are okay looking then one day you wake up
and you just hate how you look? Or you
accept you're "average" or something and
not ugly really, so you are going about
your life and then some ass comes up to
you or someone you know says your ugly or
unattractive? I'm serious one person came
up to me and just totally put me down. I
remember telling a friend and they said
they probably just were feeling bad about
themselves but that just seems unlikely.
You don't just go up to someone in a
retail store and say "hey you're ugly"
"haha" basically. I curse that jerk that
did that. Thing is girls I go up to end up
saying something about my looks or not
attracted. I know this is common I mean if
some non gothic "hot" celebrity came up to
me I'd say I'm not attracted to them, but
I mean it gets depressing when I hear it
so often. I am SO tired of being alone and
sitting here alone wasting years of my
life. I go to doctors, i talk to my
mother, I try talking to anyone who will
listen and they just give me the same
stupid advice that I've acted on before
and ended up being shot down being called
names or it just not working for me.
I don't know what to do anymore. I am SO
sad and I sleep so much. My mind is like a
drug addict hung up on these certain types
of girls, since I was a kid. It's never
going to leave me. I guess to me any girl
not like the ones I described is about as
attractive to me as another guy. Weird
maybe but that is how I am and I am really
happy with the kind of girls I like.
Besides for fun I've tried dating "normal"
girls, but they gave me the same problems.
I got lucky 4 times in my life and dated
pretty, intelligent and kind women but
it's been so long since the last one... I
think 4 years. I tried dating since,
probably over 500 people, and I always get
shot down. I always go up to people I am
interested in, I always try to make a
connection but nothing works. I'm not
trying hard either, I'm pretty casual
about it. I really don't know how to word
how LOST I feel inside about everything. I
won't kill myself but I sure wish I was
dead. There's no point to living. I saw
the last Star Wars.. I mean I Am Legend is
coming up, love that book. After holding
out for that, what point is there? That
isn't a joke either. Maybe I use movies or
events as excuses to hold on a little
longer and not kill myself. I really don't
know.
I fool myself into thinking girls are
checking me out when I catch one of them
looking at me. It works sometimes but
otherwise I catch up with reality and feel
horrible. I have never had a random
stranger come up to me and tell me I was
ugly but I sure as hell have had my
friends call me ugly. Eventually I
understood what they were saying was the
truth and I finally agreed with them, but
ever since they have stopped and told me I
wasn't. I'm so sorry to hear about your
unsuccessful love life but I personally
try to make myself feel better by
contributing to charity. At least I'm
doing something for this world instead of
just taking space. I too feel the only
thing that's keeping me going is
entertainment. The thing I'm personally
waiting for is the finale of Lost which is
in 2010. I don't know what's going to keep
me going after that, probably some other
entertainment medium.
The only thing I can suggest further is to
get hypnotherapy to rid yourself of your
attractiveness towards goths. Good luck, I
now how it feels.
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asleep_by_dawn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-16-07 02:22am
I wish I could rid myself of it but I am
extremely attracted to them. I guess they
aren't all with hot guys, they are usually
with people I think aren't great. It's
just hard to find them, they aren't as
easy to find as the average girl that does
nothing for me.
I don't know maybe I will get lucky
eventually. I just hate waiting and
waiting. The disappointment kills my soul
too.
I feel so down though right now. I know
what I love and what does it for me. I get
this damn rush of dread washing over me
when I sit here alone thinking about them.
Even if I didn't like them and just
normal girls, I'd get that feeling. I want
to be with someone, who isn't just a
girlfriend but a FRIEND.
I actually do contribute to my own charity
related to animals. There's some surgeries
animals need or they have to be put to
sleep. A few vets nearby here I am in
contact with, contact me if someone is
offered that option to operate or put the
pet to sleep. Anyone who says "they have
to think about it" gets my phone number. I
only do it at 3 places, and that makes me
feel good and I love animals, but I want a
partner in my life too.
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Enlightened Uselessness
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 86 Location: ,
Posted: 09-16-07 02:44am
I really don't know what to say. I had an
unusual experience concerning my thoughts
on attractiveness, which I'm not yet ready
to share, but eventually, not being
exposed to it and just ignoring made it go
away. I'm sure when it presents itself
again, my feelings for the said thing will
come back. When that happens, I'll just
have to ignore it. I guess all I can offer
now is to travel the world and expand your
culture to keep your mind of things. Who
knows, maybe you'll meet someone somewhere
else in the world.
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asleep_by_dawn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2007 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-16-07 06:55am
I'lll edit this later
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Juan Toobie Healthy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Sep 2007 Posts: 26 Location: Midwestern US
Posted: 09-18-07 11:12am
If you don't like your hair, you should go
to an expensive salon. The stylists there
should have their own portfolios. Find a
stylist you like and let him/her have free
reign on your hair. You may not see
yourself in some more stylish haircuts,
but a good stylists will know what will
look good on you. You could probably get
some make over tips from the stylist as
well. I dated a couple of stylists, so I
know a little about this (lol)
That's the last piece of advice I'll give
you. I can't help anyone who won't help
himself. I can tell you that people
generally don't like people who don't like
themselves. As long as you keep feeling
sorry about yourself, nothing will change.
I'm not saying it's not warrented. I'd
feel awful too if I had some of your
experiences. You have to move on though
and get that self esteem back. You act
like we on here are just giving pointless
advice. You don't realize that we were in
your shoes. If you want to make excuses
that you're different and it won't work
for you, then you are just going to be
stuck where you're at.
I hate to see someone suffering from
depression and giving up on life. My heart
goes out to you and I hope that you find
happiness someday.
Best wishes!
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heliophobe
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 10-11-08 21:38pm
Wow, I feel just like you. To be honest, I
don't know how to cope with my own sense
of alienation.
You sound like a really great guy, though.
I really don't know much about you, but I
have a suspicion you might be traumatized
from that accident. Maybe you just should
talk with a relative or loved one. I know
that always helps me feel a little better.
This sounds lame, but ever tried religion?
Sometimes that helps.
Damn, our
environments are different.
