this is a little long but its crazy. me
and my girlfriend have been dating of sept
23 06 so we’re almost a year. Everybody
has their ups and downs nothing is
perfect.
So, I have problems with my family, and I
tried reaching out to my girlfriend for
support. It caused a lot of anger in me
and confusion. At some points I would tell
her I was confused about us, when really I
was just repressing my feelings from my
family situation onto my relationship,
which was giving me mixed feelings.
A while back in august a little issue
happened with her family where I got
really angry and flipped out on them. I
didn’t want to come back to the house
after that because I thought they would
hate me. So I tried pretending I was okay
when I wasn’t.
I could tell it really bugged her but she
said she understood and she let me take my
time coming back to the house. So
everything was going fine she would text
me every morning when she woke up.
Eg.) “aw your such a sweet heart I’m
so in love with my amazing man whos gonna
take care of me forever, and I’m going
to back him up till the very end” aug
20th
She left me a really sweet comment on a
site, and it said I’m so happy youre not
afraid of the big picture and how I make
her who she is on September 5th.
That same day she had me write out our 1
year anniversary in her new agenda book.
September 6th I apologized to her family
for what happened earlier. But I still
felt like they didn’t like me so I told
her that I was so unsure of what I wanted.
And she pretty much told me not to rethink
us because there was nothing wrong with
us. But obviously I still knew I wanted to
be with her. Sept 7 I was really tired
from university and wanted to go to sleep
so I told her we can just talk on the
computer. But she insisted and pretty much
dragged me out of the house to come be
with her. Sept 8, she cooked for me we
watched a movie everything was great, she
was on her monthly time so we didn’t go
all the way but she wanted to on the next
day. She was planning out our Halloween
costumes. Sept9 I had a date planned for
her, since family has been confusing to me
and I have been a wreck I was so excited.
But she had to cancel on me because her
grandma was going to take her shopping. I
got mad because I was offended cause she
could have went another time. And she was
the one telling me she misses how I do
sweet things for her. I got mad and I left
my cell phone, and while I was gone she
was telling me how she didn’t want to
break up and that I should stop ignoring
her cause she thought I was. And then I
got into a huge fight with my dad, and
said some things I didn’t mean to her,
and then she didn’t want me back at all.
That night she told me she was confused
and that she didn’t know what she
wanted, I asked her if she still felt
everything for me, and she said yes. I
asked her what the promise ring meant to
her and she said a lot. I tried to take it
off her but she wouldn’t let me. I asked
her if she wanted to go back to her ex,
she didn’t know. She pretty much
didn’t know anything that night. I asked
her if she still wanted to iron my
shirts(inside joke) and she nodded her
head and was crying. I asked her if we
could go on a break instead she said yeah
because she doesn’t want to lose me.
So the next day the 10th she broke up with
me, and I tried to get her back but she
told me shes done with it. Yet she was
still wearing my ring. The next day she
told me she was dead serious and yet she
was still wearing my ring. She told me our
1 year means nothing to her. And that shes
moving on. When I asked her if she loves
me now she says I don’t know, and if she
ever did love me she says I don’t know.
She was always talking about the future
she couldn’t even leave me alone for a
day. She has never experienced a long
relationship before, and she thinks that
love stays the same forever but it evolves
into a person who is your bestfriend who
you would do anything for, and she told me
it was like that but not anymore. She told
me she was confused and that she needs
time. But yet she said she was over me yet
she can’t give me an answer if we will
be together or not. I am so confused she
is sending me mixed signals from before
the breakup till now. She says she is
completely over me..in less than 4 days of
breaking up. What the hell is going on
here? is she running scared? she is acting
so immature she doesnt even want to talk.
do you think she will regret?
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Keeba88
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007 Posts: 223 Location: ,
Posted: 09-15-07 12:50pm
DAMN thats a lot of info to take in. It
sounds a lot like something i did to an ex
of mine. We were together for over 2
years, i had the promise ring, we were
together ALL the time, we had our ups and
downs (but so does every relationship). I
went to break up with him because i was so
unsure if what i was feeling was true. But
he wanted a break instead, so yes thats
what we did. A few days after that i told
him that i couldn't do the whole break
thing because he still wanted to talk
everyday and hangout once in awhile. I
just needed time to think and be by
myself...to see what it was like a few
days with out him. Did i miss him? Was i
fine without him? That kinda thing! And
turns out after about a week i couldn't
take it anymore...i wanted to be with him.
So i actually tried going back to him and
he decided that he had already moved on to
someone else. Wether that was to ease the
pain of us not being together or cause he
truly got over us that fast, i still don't
know. But with the promise ring...i wanted
to give it back to him soooo bad but i
couldn't let go of it. It was the only
thing that i had, besides some pictures
and stuffed animals that he had givin' me,
but the only thing that REALLY REALLY ment
something. Needless to say i wore it for
the next year, i was in such rough shape
because i expected him to want me back.
He's always been the kinda guy that if we
got into a fight he wanted to solve it
right now cause he couldn't stand it, he
wanted to tell me EVERYTHING that he was
doing and when he was doing it. He wanted
to talk EVERY hour, be with eachother
EVERY day/night. So i didn't expect for
him to not want me back...it really was
divistating for me. The next year or so i
still had the ring on until i me the guy
that i was with now and off it came!
But back to your situation/problem here:
I think its very similar to mine, she may
just be confused right now and want some
time to think it out, hense why she isn't
talking to you. She just wants to see what
its like without you, if she truly needs
you? But then again it could be the
opposite. You never know this is just what
i think! As for the mixed feelings, that
could also be from her not being able to
figure out what she wants. (sometimes us
girls get like that, but then so do guys)
I say just give it a few days, a couple
weeks, see what happens. She could just be
afraid, like you had asked, and is afraid
to give someone her whole heart, commit to
you for the rest of her life (since you
said that she hasn't been in a long
relatioship before). I think you should
just her space and time let her think,
then wait for her to come back. If she
comes back to you don't rush anything
maybe just talk on the phone for a bit,
then hangout, just so that she doesn't
feel like she should run, if thats what it
was in the first place! But i hope some of
this has helped you! Lemme know if you
have any more questions comments. You can
PM if you would like also, our situations
are a lot of like so far, but no guarantee
about the ending, and for your sake i hope
its not the same ending. GOOD LUCK HUN!
|
kittykute
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Oct 2007 Posts: 21 Location: , Ireland
I Agree With Chick Before Me... However Posted: 10-10-07 23:04pm
Holy crap you people must have flying
fingers!!! I proabably won't be able to
give you some awesome yoda type advise but
here it goes.
Yes, I agree maybe she wants' to have some
time to see if she can live without you. I
would proabably be the same way. But if
she's ready to give everything up that you
guys had after a year then it couldn't
have been very serious to her, right?
Give it some time. If you really love her
and care about her, be willing to talk to
her. Talking is the key that opens doors
to everything. it ends wars, stops rapes
yadayadayada. (Don't quote me i'm
joking!!!)
HOWEVER!!! (Yeah, I'm getting to it,)
Don't act like a dip-caca. Excuse my
language but if she's not willing to go on
with it, give it up. trust me, i've been a
stalker and yeah... it gets freaky after a
while. not saying anything to you, of
course i'm here for advice. but my friend,
i hope everytihng goes well. i may sound
like a person but i did the best i could.
LOVE YEAH AND HOPE IT ALL COMES OUT IN THE
WASH!!!
love, kittykute
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Mikolas
Supporter
Joined: 02 Aug 2007 Posts: 597 Location: Buffalo University, Hands off! My trained killer kitten has its aim set upon you!
Thanks: 17
Thanked:1
Posted: 10-10-07 23:37pm
I call that the "mind game". I don't
really think its intentional for most of
the girls, its just a result of their
emotional shifts. I don't know if this is
some stereotype and what not, but women
are considerably more emotional then men,
and it confuses them quite a lot. Say one
thing, say the opposite the next, etc, and
it drives us men crazy!!! The best thing I
could tell you, is do not pressure her,
send her an email or a text message or
something she can listen to when she
chooses (this way she is less pressured),
and say what you need to say. Your apology
for your outbursts etc, your questions
about what she really feels, and end it
telling her that she can take as long as
she wants to think things through and you
will wait for her answer. Don't write
anything down thats going to cause more
pain, more confusion like that inside joke
about ironing shirts. She has to reach the
right decision and she won't be able to if
you bring up reminders of your love life
together. Don't involve yourself in any
way after that until she does or she will
continue distancing herself from you.
