This isn't for me - this is in regards to
my friend "Jerry", who began dating one of
his exes "Ally" after being broken up with
her for a few years
First, a little backstory:
When Ally spoke to Jerry about the
possibility of them dating, Ally was in
the process of divorcing her physically
and sexually abusive husband (call him
"Ex"). I don't know what the etiquette is
about dating and having sex during a
divorc,e but whatever. Jerry and Ally
already did the freinds-with-benefits
thing before they began 'dating', so it's
not like they're taking their time.
About two weeks into their dating, Jerry
caught Ally cheating on him with Ex, and
for about a week, Jerry did not speak to
her (but they were still dating). This
past week, they had their little
heart-to-heart chat and now they're in wuv
once again because she was oh-so-sorry for
screwing around behind Jerry's back. Jerry
is a good friend of mine and he's very
open with me about most issues, and he
mentioned in passing about how him and
Ally were relying only on birth control
for their protection.
Normally this would not faze me, but can a
woman who can't even be trusted to be
faithful to her BF be trusted to take her
birth control faithfully, or at all? Jerry
is one of those guys who just cannot be
single for very long, and due to having
about 25 girlfriends since high school
(he's 22 now), I fear he is just settling
for this woman who cheated on him when
they dated years ago and cheated on him
again when they reunited - I'm sure he
figures he'll never find 'the one', so
he'll just settle for whoever shows an
interest in him, even if they cheat on him
with every other man in town.
I don't know why he would want to stay
with someone who has no problem being
unfaithful to him, but I know it's not my
place to tell him who he should and should
not date. I guess part of me wants to make
him understand this crap because he
stressed out all this past quarter at
college trying to not get kicked out due
to bad grades, and I was his crying
shoulder every fifteen minutes when he had
an emo breakdown.
I guess I just don't want to have to hear
his whining that often again when Ally
leaves him or he knocks her up because she
lied about being on the pill. I'm not
saying I don't like being there for
him...it's just the frequency at which he
comes to me to vent - I know once I spent
almost two whole days and nights with him
to keep him company, and when I dared say
I wanted to go home, about ten minutes
after getting in my room, he calls to
whine and cry some more. Just to give you
an idea of how much attention this kid
needs.
Advice? My current solution is to just sit
back with some popcorn and watch a most
likely inevitable trainwreck unfold. Can
cheaters turn over a new leaf, or are they
destined to always be deceitful to their
partners?
