Sad - I thing I'm ugly - Low self esteem Posted: 09-18-07 12:41pm
Recently I've gone through a string of
medical 'problems' from a cancer scare
(came back negative) to a SLAP tear in my
labrum which will require surgery
probably. As of late I've been feeling
more and more down as opposed to the
summer and beginning of the school year
where I was very happy. Many of my friends
call me ugly, I'm not sure if they're
joking around or not because a lot of them
do - but as I look back on old pictures of
me I've found that I was actually handsome
even though back then I always had low
self esteem and just assumed everyone was
correct in calling me ugly despite what I
saw in the mirror, etc... some of my
friends just out of the blue make fun of
my looks - I don't know whether it's to
make me get mad or something but it
doesn't seem like it has a place in the
conversation when they do it so I feel as
if they are being honest... like for
example my one friend out of the blue said
"imagine if (i) had a sister. she would be
so butt." and things like that... When I
was very young I got a scar on my cheek
via a dog bite - every kid made fun of me
and I always find myself reverting to that
one point in time as if I can't get past
it because it seemingly altered my life so
much. Now a days in comparison to pictures
from only a few years back when I was 18
(I'm 20 now) I see two totally different
people - the old, more normal looking me -
and now a days through digital cameras
whenever my friends bring them around I
see a totally different person - a very
ugly person in my opinion. My mother
swears and tells me that I'm not ugly -
but whenever I go out I always feel like
my looks scare people away from talking to
me. I feel as if I'm "past my prime" and I
have no reason to go forward even though I
have many positive attributes to myself -
It's hard for me to interact socially
because I, for the most part, depending on
my mood, have a very closed personality.
I've had girls talk to me and sort of ask
me out but I've never actually been able
to go up to a girl and get her to go out
with me... my mother tells me I should try
out to be a model but I still look so
horribly bad in pictures compared to a
mirror - I'm just really confused as to
what I look like - I feel as if I'll never
actually know. All of this confusion
drives me mad and I get so down on myself
over it. I have to goto class right now I
just wanted to get this out... maybe I'll
finish my story later.
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twilight_mist
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2007 Posts: 30 Location: ,
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Posted: 09-20-07 16:36pm
I know how it is to feel ugly, and be told
that you'e ugly. But if my friends had
said such things to me! I'd... i don't
know what I'd do really, but they
certinally aren't good freinds treating
you that way.
You said you've had girls ask you out. -
That's something, isn't it? I'm 23 and no
one's ever asked me out.
guess what I'm trying to say is:
You are NOT as ugly as you imagine
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sonia_x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Apr 2008 Posts: 14 Location: , United Kingdom
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hey!! Posted: 04-02-08 20:08pm
you are not ugly!!..im really shocked that
your so called 'friends' called you
UGLY...to me...that aint how friends are
supposed to act!
it seems to me that it is due to your
friends that you have this lack of
confidence...the best advice i can give
you is avoid those poepl in your life that
belittle you and make you feel
uncomfortable..they are not worth you time
and effort. It could be seen that your
friends may actually be jealous of
you...that is why they constantly pick on
you.
lol...you cant be that ugly if girls have
been asking you out! they obviously found
you attractive otherwise they wouldnt
have!
Dont lose hope on yourself...you just need
the right people around you, the right
'friends'. Try to stick with people who
are more optimistic and friendly, because
they can affect the mood you are in.
I totally rate your mom for the support
she has given you. Maybe its time you
followed her advice and loved yourself for
the way to are. You dont need to change
for anybody.
and to be fair...what is the definition of
ugly??...everyone has there own opinions
on that....so not everyone is going to see
you as ugly...some people may actually
find you sexy =]
Next time you look in the Mirror, tell
yourself that you are a good looking
person, and you deserve happiness.
because..."A Moment Spent Sad Is A Moment
Of Happiness Lost"
hope i helped x x
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Lion79
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 240 Location: Sunderland, UK
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Posted: 04-06-08 06:07am
Your friends might not realize that
they're hurting your feelings and might
see it as innocent fun. Maybe you should
tell them you're a bit sensitive about
your looks, and if they still don't shut
up then ditch them becasuse they're not
worth your time. Sometimes people say
things that might be mean because they
think they're being clever.
Also, not to make your problem sound less
serious or anything, but you might be
perceiving the reactions of others as
negative because you believe that you are
ugly. So you might pick up on some things
people say and read a little deeper into
it than you normally would, and you might
see yourself differently in photos from a
few years ago because then you weren't so
insecure. It's hard to explain, I hope you
know what I'm getting at. I'll demonstrate
with an example. I was at a party with me
ex and his family, and there was nibbles
on the table, you know tortilla chips and
stuff, and since I hadn't eaten all day I
took a few handfuls. Later on they were
joking around and said they needed more
tortillas and his mam says 'that's because
mandy's had about 3 bags' in a jokey way.
Normally, this wouldn't bother me because
that's just what they're like and it was
in fun, but at the time I was very
sensitive about my weight and was quite
offended. Maybe the same thing is going on
with your friends. It might be totally
innocent to them, but the only way you'll
know is to challenge them about it.
I know what you mean about the
mirror/photos thing. There's time when
I'll get ready and think I look great in
the mirror, and then I catch myself later
on in a mirror or someone takes a photo
and I look completely different. I don't
know which is more accurate, so it is hard
to know how others actually see you.
Being told that youre ugly, especally by
people close to you, makes you believe it.
But they were being immature, and because
of this your self esteem has suffered.
Don't let it get to you, and definitely
don't let it stop you from having fun. As
the others said, you need to be around the
right people, who will make you forget
about what others have said to you. You
need confidence in yourself, and try to
focus on your other good points. You said
yourself you had many, and that in itself
makes you a better person. You perceive
yourself as ugly because of what others
have said, and you need to push these
things out of your mind and move on.
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