Joined: 13 Jan 2006 Posts: 31 Location: Washington, D.C.
Boyfriend Can't Make Up His Mind, And It's Killing Me Posted: 09-18-07 14:16pm
I have been dating a wonderful older man
for five months. He is bipolar, but it
seemed that it didn't effect us for the
most part. The relationship progressed
very fast. We spent the month of August
together in Europe, and he tells me every
day that he loves me. He even bought me a
pre-engagament ring. For two months, he
has been talking about engagement
non-stop, and last weekend, he threw me an
enormous birthday party. He is also
affectionate.
Last week, his landscaper made a big
mistake in his yeard, and it threw him
into this depression. The next night, as
we were driving to dinner for him to meet
my parents for the first time, he told me
he needed a break from me. I cried (I
couldn't believe that he would do that
with my family here when I only see them
twice a year). He said nevermind, we would
work it out.
The next night, he made me call my
parents, who had left, and tell them
everything was okay. Later that night, as
we were driving to an event, he again said
he wanted to break up. He said I should
get over it, people break up all the time,
and he is impulsive. Again, later that
night, he said everything was okay.
This went on for tewo more nights: we
would make up, have wonderufl days
together, and he would do it again.
Finally, yesterday, he said he wanted to
break up because nothing made me any
different than the other women he hadn't
married. Later that night he took me to
dinner with his parents.
This morning he said we have to make a
decision about this tonight, once and for
all.
I am SO confused and depressed. I bought
into it all, and I thought I had found the
person I was going to marry. I rely on him
now for support, and I love him.
How does a man change his mind and go back
and forth so wuickly like this?
I need help. I am hurting so much.
|
Ingi
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8437 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 121
Thanked:156
Re: Boyfriend Can't Make Up His Mind, And It's Killing Me Posted: 09-18-07 14:20pm
lamartine
wrote:
How does a man change his mind and go back
and forth so wuickly like this?
I'm sorry you are hurting. Do you
understand what bi-polar disorder truly
is? This would be a lifetime of this kind
of behavior. If you cannot handle it now,
please understand it is not going to get
any easier.
It sounds like he may have been manic this
summer (on an upswing when everything is
wonderful and fabulous!) and now he is
coming down.
Is he on medication? More importantly: is
he taking his medication?
Re: Boyfriend Can't Make Up His Mind, And It's Killing Me Posted: 09-19-07 20:05pm
lamartine
wrote:
I have been dating a
wonderful older man for five months. He is
bipolar, but it seemed that it didn't
effect us for the most part. The
relationship progressed very fast. We
spent the month of August together in
Europe, and he tells me every day that he
loves me. He even bought me a
pre-engagament ring. For two months, he
has been talking about engagement
non-stop, and last weekend, he threw me an
enormous birthday party. He is also
affectionate.
Last week, his landscaper made a big
mistake in his yeard, and it threw him
into this depression. The next night, as
we were driving to dinner for him to meet
my parents for the first time, he told me
he needed a break from me. I cried (I
couldn't believe that he would do that
with my family here when I only see them
twice a year). He said nevermind, we would
work it out.
The next night, he made me call my
parents, who had left, and tell them
everything was okay. Later that night, as
we were driving to an event, he again said
he wanted to break up. He said I should
get over it, people break up all the time,
and he is impulsive. Again, later that
night, he said everything was okay.
This went on for tewo more nights: we
would make up, have wonderufl days
together, and he would do it again.
Finally, yesterday, he said he wanted to
break up because nothing made me any
different than the other women he hadn't
married. Later that night he took me to
dinner with his parents.
This morning he said we have to make a
decision about this tonight, once and for
all.
I am SO confused and depressed. I bought
into it all, and I thought I had found the
person I was going to marry. I rely on him
now for support, and I love him.
How does a man change his mind and go back
and forth so wuickly like this?
I need help. I am hurting so
much.
i can understand how you feel.
i have depression and i act the same way
to my boyfriend, sometimes i say things
without meaning it. and then i realize
after what happened..
i hope everything works out for you guys
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2381 Location: North Carolina
Thanks: 12
Thanked:1
Re: Boyfriend Can't Make Up His Mind, And It's Killing Me Posted: 09-19-07 21:25pm
Ingi
wrote:
lamartine
wrote:
How does a man change his mind and go back
and forth so wuickly like this?
I'm sorry you are hurting. Do you
understand what bi-polar disorder truly
is? This would be a lifetime of this kind
of behavior. If you cannot handle it now,
please understand it is not going to get
any easier.
It sounds like he may have been manic this
summer (on an upswing when everything is
wonderful and fabulous!) and now he is
coming down.
Is he on medication? More importantly: is
he taking his medication?
Good luck with whatever you
decide.
I agree with Ingi. Bipolar has to take
medication. If he refuse medication then
you are going to be on the rollercoaster
forever so you need to think about it.
My GF did the same thing to
me...Everything was great, she went to see
her therapist and came home saying I have
to many problems and she wants to move
back to her mothers because she is chosing
to sleep and hide from problems rather
then deal with them...She also said I have
alot of "issues" which I do, Going through
a custody trial, financial problems, and
being a "mamma's boy" really are alot of
issues...She abrubtly said she needed to
go to her mothers so she could get her
head strait...It was a complete 180 from
talking about marriage and life
together...She is BP and I wonder if it
has something to do with it...She says no,
but I don't think im obligated to listen
to her opinion...My feeling is that like
in a business deal I presented offer(that
I have loved her since I was in high
school) she rejected it and i am done...
Something I have always believed in life
is "why be with someone who doesn't want
to be with you..."
Game over....
|
nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005 Posts: 2381 Location: North Carolina
Thanks: 12
Thanked:1
Posted: 09-27-07 20:16pm
Jeaston77
wrote:
Something I have always believed in life
is "why be with someone who doesn't want
to be with you..."
Game over....
exactamundo. You are on the right track.
|
w0esurrt
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2007 Posts: 22
Posted: 09-27-07 23:40pm
Your situation really sucks dude. but one
thing is, have you considered you guys may
be moving too fast? and it's only been 5
months and to think that couples change
after a year. I personally think that a
bipolar guy would be too difficult to
date, especially when considering
marriage! And how can you consider him to
be the one when he always thinks ya'll
should break up? If ya;ll are at all
doubtful about each other, there needs to
be a little revising about the
relationship. Trying going on a break and
becoming independent for a while, meaning,
ditch the ol ball&chain for a few,
then see where ya'll end up.
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