My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 09-20-07 09:50am
My boyfriend recently told me his feelings
for me had changed. We had been together
for 2 years, living together for 1.5
years. He has partially moved out and
will be completely moved out by the end of
the month. He still calls me a few times
a week and wants to hang out. He said he
was feeling smothered living together and
needed to get out and get some space. I
never saw this coming and really felt he
was the guy I was going to be with
forever. I have good days and I have bad
days. I don't know what to do though.
There are days I just can't focus and I
don't want to eat. When I am out with
friends and have other distractions I feel
much better, but its impossible to be out
and with other people all the time. I
just recently decided to seek counseling
but I couldn't get an appointment till
next week. If anyone has any guidance it
would be greatly appreciated. Oh Im 28
and he is 31, and this isn't my first
break-up. If I knew he hated me things
would be alot easier to get over and move
on, but I think knowing he still loves me
and still cares for me makes it a lot
harder.
Re: My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 09-20-07 10:08am
miserable79
wrote:
My boyfriend recently told
me his feelings for me had changed. We
had been together for 2 years, living
together for 1.5 years. He has partially
moved out and will be completely moved out
by the end of the month. He still calls
me a few times a week and wants to hang
out. He said he was feeling smothered
living together and needed to get out and
get some space. I never saw this coming
and really felt he was the guy I was going
to be with forever. I have good days and
I have bad days. I don't know what to do
though. There are days I just can't focus
and I don't want to eat. When I am out
with friends and have other distractions I
feel much better, but its impossible to be
out and with other people all the time. I
just recently decided to seek counseling
but I couldn't get an appointment till
next week. If anyone has any guidance it
would be greatly appreciated. Oh Im 28
and he is 31, and this isn't my first
break-up. If I knew he hated me things
would be alot easier to get over and move
on, but I think knowing he still loves me
and still cares for me makes it a lot
harder.
i think right now you both need space, to
take time to yourselves,
you both have a lot to think about
if he keeps calling you, he does still
have feelings for you, after all its not
that easy to get over someone so fast.
maybe by having some space, this will out
work out good for you.
the same thing has happened to me and my
boyfriend and after not being with him for
a while things worked out great.
i hope everything happens the way you want
it to. you can always keep posting on here
and ill try to help you the best i can
|
miserable79
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2007 Posts: 4
Re: My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 09-20-07 10:12am
How did you manage to deal with not being
with him or at least deal with the
uncertainty of being with him? My main
concern is that I was and still am
completely heartbroken about what he said
and losing him. He was my best friend.
But at the same time I'm afriad that one
day he is going to say I really have
thought about things and I don't want to
be with you. Im just scared Im going to
have these feelings all over again. I
love him and I do see us together, but I
don't want to feel like I wasted my time
waiting around for him either...does that
make sense?
Re: My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 09-20-07 10:16am
miserable79
wrote:
How did you manage to deal
with not being with him or at least deal
with the uncertainty of being with him?
My main concern is that I was and still am
completely heartbroken about what he said
and losing him. He was my best friend.
But at the same time I'm afriad that one
day he is going to say I really have
thought about things and I don't want to
be with you. Im just scared Im going to
have these feelings all over again. I
love him and I do see us together, but I
don't want to feel like I wasted my time
waiting around for him either...does that
make sense?
i just realized life goes on. i tried to
keep myself occupied and after a while we
hung out and it was like we were back to
normal.
right now hes living 3 hours away from me
and its hard. but i know once i can get
through this i can get through
everything.
but i also learned that making a guy a
priority isn't a good thing, theres more
to life then boys.
like example.. yourself, you should care
about yourself before anything else.
if you guys stay together, it was meant to
be and if you dont stay together, then it
wasn't and you just have to pick up and
move on with life.
but i really do hope things work out good
for you
|
miserable79
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2007 Posts: 4
Re: My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 09-20-07 10:27am
I am working on keeping myself busy that
is for sure. Its just hard with not
living all that close to some of my really
good friends. And I think the fact that
we lived together made things harder on me
as well. Like I said before he hasn't
moved everything out yet. So I go home
and Im still surrounded by some of his
things. Im hoping once he does get
everything out of there things will get
better and easier for me to deal with. I
am working on focusing more on myself. I
always kind of did that though, but even
the things that I did have interest in
doing that he didn't, I have a hard time
focusing on. I loved going to the gym and
working out, kickboxing, ect, but now I
have to force myself to be there.
Re: My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 09-20-07 11:01am
miserable79
wrote:
I am working on keeping
myself busy that is for sure. Its just
hard with not living all that close to
some of my really good friends. And I
think the fact that we lived together made
things harder on me as well. Like I said
before he hasn't moved everything out yet.
So I go home and Im still surrounded by
some of his things. Im hoping once he
does get everything out of there things
will get better and easier for me to deal
with. I am working on focusing more on
myself. I always kind of did that though,
but even the things that I did have
interest in doing that he didn't, I have a
hard time focusing on. I loved going to
the gym and working out, kickboxing, ect,
but now I have to force myself to be
there.
i dont have any friends left here, they
all moved to school and eventually just
stayed there.
i clean, read, come on ehealth, look for a
job, go for walks.. listen to music,
pretty much anything i can do to keep my
mind from wondering
|
miserable79
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2007 Posts: 4
Re: My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 09-20-07 11:20am
I guess things all just take time. I just
remember being back in college and
breaking up with a guy wasn't the end of
the world. People were always around 24/7
to hang out with, talk to, etc. Now as we
get older it just makes things harder to
be alone.
|
diamondsimone
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 42 Location: nyc, usa
Posted: 09-26-07 11:39am
men have one intention to break our hearts
if he stll loves and cares for you his
feeling havwnt changed you can fix
anything through love i hate men wish i
were a lezbo lol)
I believe you need to give each other a
little space and then at some point have a
long talk about everything in your
relationship.
and ouch diamond, that one stung. I've
always been the heartbreakee
|
everyday_struggle
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 304
Posted: 09-26-07 15:44pm
diamondsimone
wrote:
men are suckers withone
intention to break our hearts if he stll
loves and cares for you his feeling havwnt
changed you can fix anything through love
i hate men wish i were a lezbo
lol)
as a guy, i wish you were one too. We dont
need to meet someone like you that already
has it in her head, that she hates guys. I
wish you would put the fact that you hate
guys on your forehead, so we can avoid you
at all costs.
Behind every bad man is a woman who made
him that way.
|
everyday_struggle
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jul 2007 Posts: 304
Re: My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 09-26-07 15:49pm
miserable79
wrote:
My boyfriend recently told
me his feelings for me had changed. We
had been together for 2 years, living
together for 1.5 years. He has partially
moved out and will be completely moved out
by the end of the month. He still calls
me a few times a week and wants to hang
out. He said he was feeling smothered
living together and needed to get out and
get some space. I never saw this coming
and really felt he was the guy I was going
to be with forever. I have good days and
I have bad days. I don't know what to do
though. There are days I just can't focus
and I don't want to eat. When I am out
with friends and have other distractions I
feel much better, but its impossible to be
out and with other people all the time. I
just recently decided to seek counseling
but I couldn't get an appointment till
next week. If anyone has any guidance it
would be greatly appreciated. Oh Im 28
and he is 31, and this isn't my first
break-up. If I knew he hated me things
would be alot easier to get over and move
on, but I think knowing he still loves me
and still cares for me makes it a lot
harder.
sorry to hear that, but if a guy loves you
and wants to be with you, he wouldnt move
out. Hes being nice towards you and your
feelings and is not being a complete
scumbag about it. You should start dating
and seeing other guys, maybe that way he
would realize what he has.
good luck.
|
bvkp2001
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 09-28-07 20:06pm
my bf of 6yrs just left today after
telling me he has to find out if i'm the
one. how do not know after 6yrs.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 09-28-07 20:09pm
bvkp2001
wrote:
my bf of 6yrs just left
today after telling me he has to find out
if i'm the one. how do not know after
6yrs.
that was an excuse
|
bvkp2001
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 09-28-07 20:27pm
why don't they give us some clue they are
not happy?
|
embarrassed40
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Aug 2007 Posts: 323 Location: topeka, kansas
Re: My Boyfriend Said His Feelings Changed Posted: 10-08-07 01:32am
miserable79
wrote:
I guess things all just take
time. I just remember being back in
college and breaking up with a guy wasn't
the end of the world. People were always
around 24/7 to hang out with, talk to,
etc. Now as we get older it just makes
things harder to be
alone.
3 weeks later now! Are you over it yet I
wonder. If you are an attractive girl,
you will have no problem finding a
replacement. If he told you why he was
leaving, use that info. to your advantage
next time around. Either change or find
someone who is compatible with your
idiosyncracies.
