I have a daughter who is 18, has always
been a overachiever, held three jobs thru
high school,but with a negative attitude
and now in her freshman year of college,
she seems like her behavior is worse, She
is always down on life, afraid to DO
anything (like apply for a job), fearful
of talking to people, afraid to go into
class late. Afraid to ask for help in
college. Is any of this NORMAL? How do I
get her attitude changed???
I have a daughter who is 18,
has always been a overachiever, held three
jobs thru high school,but with a negative
attitude and now in her freshman year of
college, she seems like her behavior is
worse, She is always down on life, afraid
to DO anything (like apply for a job),
fearful of talking to people, afraid to go
into class late. Afraid to ask for help in
college. Is any of this NORMAL? How do I
get her attitude
changed???
shes probably going through depression,
the same thing happened to me and i was
diagnosed with depression a while ago
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Ingi
Supporter
Joined: 09 Mar 2006 Posts: 8766 Location: Grinning like a Cheshire Cat,
Thanks: 161
Thanked:194
Posted: 09-21-07 14:51pm
You can't change her attitude. She is the
one who would have to change.
Trust me, a lot of being a teenager will
be outgrown eventually. And soon, they
become like real people again. It just
seems to take a long time.
ETA: It could in fact be some depression.
Depression upon entering college and the
'real' world is quite common. Maybe a
visit to the doctor?
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lintek
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2006 Posts: 50 Location: New York
Posted: 10-03-07 06:23am
Hi DN,
I don't mean to frighten you but I do
recall that certain illnesses strike teens
when they enter college. schizophrania
being the main one.
I would recommend that she see a doctor
for an evaluation so that her problems
don't escalate.
I can recall very well after losing my job
for a period of seven months and in that
course of time, I became afraid to go to
the super market and it became worst for
me to be around people and then it turned
worst for me panic wise to have to find a
job. my mind kept making it worst and
worst before I finally sought help for
it.
I was put on an anxiety medication and I
had therapy with a wonderful person I
matched up with. we had a good repore
which is very important.
I think maybe your daughter needs to talk
about things so she doens't keep it
bottled up inside.
holding things in can only make a person
sick and really begin to effect the person
physically. which you can see it's
effecting her already.
It's not uncommon for young adults go thru
a major change in their lives when they
enter college. there's a whole set of new
demans on them. they don't necesssiarly
feel ready to be considered an adult in
their minds. we as the parents may expect
them to behave a certain way when really
they aren't ready to just switch into this
mode.
putting expectations on them can sometimes
make them feel pressured.
they have to learn how to adapt to changes
now and have to learn to grow into an
adult.
we're there to guide them, but they are
their own person.
I wish her the best and that she seeks
counseling before it gets worst.
good luck
i think that u should give her time and it
may were off.
If it does not stop take her to the
doctors.
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keys101
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2007 Posts: 87 Location: , USA
Posted: 10-21-07 10:57am
if it's not something a little "snap out
of it!" won't cure it could be something
way more serious- I'd address it right
away if i were you, college is not the
time to be reluctant or fearful.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5542 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 89
Thanked:31
Posted: 10-22-07 09:35am
If it's getting in the way of things, like
she is so afraid that she won't do things
she really needs to do, it could be a
problem. Talk to her about it and see if
she thinks she needs help. There is
probably a counselor at her school that
she could start with.
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maryc1
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2007 Posts: 3
Posted: 11-09-07 05:29am
Your daughter sounds kinda like me. I was
diagnosed with social anxiety and
depression because I was and still am
afraid to do all of that...
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1ocabolabi
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Jan 2008 Posts: 1
Posted: 01-23-08 07:22am
Maybe she has suddenly realised that she
has given herself a really high standard
to live up to and is feeling overwhelmed.
You have to make life choices and the
enormity of that may suddenly impact on
you and cause panic.
There are also a lot more people from a
wider background to compete with which can
add to insecurities.
Loss of friends, trouble in love life,
loss of income and a new environment can
all cause a person to feel unsure and if
it all comes at once then depression can
set in.
It doesn't mean shes mad ... a short
course of anti-depressants can be used as
a crutch while she gets herself together.
Good luck.
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peppermint1993
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2008 Posts: 8 Location: ,
i have the same thing Posted: 01-29-08 19:04pm
hey i go through the same thing now im
always afraid to do anything like talking
to people and im always down and not
energetic at all so your not the only one.
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masa
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jan 2008 Posts: 12 Location: ,
Posted: 01-30-08 22:21pm
I too am in my freshman year and am going
through the same problems. I can't figure
out what my problem is, but i don't feel
like this is just a normal teenage phase
type thing. Maybe your daughter needs some
more positvity in her life..lord knows
where to find it.
Also, this is a pretty hard time..freshman
year that is. no matter how self dependant
you are adulthood is coming up soon and
it's hard to face now that we are so
close..
And soon, they
become like real people again. It just
seems to take a long time.
