Hello,
I am the wife of a possible bipolar
husband, who, so far, is only diagnosed
with seasonal affective disorder. I
believe very strongly that my husband is
misdiagnosed.
Can you please give me some insight on
mixed episodes? How long do they typically
last? Does hypomania often precede a mixed
episode? When the episode is over, does
the person usually regret actions he did
during the episode or do they continue to
view their actions as rational? I see a
lot of things about manic episodes and
depressive episodes, but very little about
mixed episodes.
For those who care to read about my
husband's situation:
Six weeks ago, I came home from a weekend
trip and he was gone. Every morsel of him
was gone. He left nothing but his wedding
band and a long robotic letter. (I have
posted about this before.) In the letter,
he admitted that he never took the BAR
exams (lawyer exams) that he was supposed
to have take the week before he left. He
had me under the impression that he was
taking them that week!! He said that he
didnt' want to live in our state anymore,
that he didnt' want to be married anymore,
that he didn't want children and that he
doesn't want to be a lawyer now (after
having just graduated from law school.) He
admits to lying about several things
throughout the summer. He has enrolled
back in graduate school to become a
therapist, now! This all came as a total
shock to me!! We had a wonderful marriage!
We had just celebrated our two-year
anniversary and have been together for 3
1/2 wonderful years. He was just gone,
just like that. In the six-weeks that he
has been gone, we have only spoken via
phone once - for about five minutes. He
sounded very monotone, like a robot. This
is also how his letter was written - no
emotion whatsoever. It's like he doesn't
even care or have any remorse whatsoever!
This is not my huisband!!
(I should also add that about two months
before our wedding, after we had been
engaged nearly a year, he did something
very, very similar. He had sent me a long,
robotic email, saying he was moving back
to his home state - 10 hours away,
dropping out of law school, joining
alchoholics anonymous, getting a mediocre
job and not getting married. At that time,
his doctor had just changed his
antidepressant, so when he stablilized
three weeks later and moved back down, I
chalked it up to that.) Things have been
wonderful ever since, although now that I
look back, I see bipolar signs all over
his everyday life - though none were
alarming enough to raise any eyebrows. He
has written a lot of dark blogs, poems on
our computer, which seem to focus on death
and very, deep self-analysises and
introspective topics, which are very, very
deep. They don't seem like things the
average person would be thinking about. He
loses/gains weight often. When he gets
into something, he takes it to extremes.
Last year, he became obsessed with
exercise and lost 90 pounds in five
months! He goes through stages where he
becomes very irresponsible about
bills/finances/other obligations (such as
tags for his car, taxes, etc.) But he
isn't always like this - in fact, most of
the time he is not like this.
He doesn't display much euphoria -
although on occasion, out of nowhere, he
does - usually only lasting for a day or a
few days. I can pinpoint that he was
overly euphoric earlier this summer -
about 6 weeks before he left. After that,
his personality changed - he was
irritable, blew off job interviews (and
didn't bother calling to say he wasn't
coming), didn't pay several household
bills, including our mortgage, withdrew
socially (slightly) and stopped doing all
the things that interest him - like
gardening, reading, watching movies, etc.
He also seemed to become forgetful,
arrogant at times, down at times, etc. He
wasn't his usual sweet, affectionate self,
any longer. Is this a mixed episode? (He
made strange comments about death verbally
and seemed to have some delusional
thinking. He also said in his goodbye
letter that his leaving had nothing to do
with me - that he was irresponsible and
undependable and he needed to live alone.
He said that I have been a wonderful wife
and companion, but that he is ready to
"move on." I am absolutely devastated. The
husband I know loves me, loves our home,
loves his garden, loves our friends/family
and this husband has just walked out on
all of this - just like that. And has
moved into the same apartment complex he
lived in while we dated and is back in
school to become a therapist.
When we spoke via email, which we have
done several times to discuss bill
transfers, I tried to talk to him about
his mental health. And he told me his
mental health was fine and my concern was
not warranted.
Please help give me some insight on mixed
episodes or whether or not you think this
might be one! Does it seem to fit more of
a manic episode, a depressive episode or
no episode at all? Thanks for any help you
can give!
|
upandrising
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2007 Posts: 4
Additional Info to Above Post Posted: 09-29-07 09:56am
I should also add that he has never, ever
been abusive or manipulative, and doesn't
really spend money all that freely. He
also doesn't go through periods where he
talks a lot, like I've seen described in
manic episodes. Rather, during the weeks
before he left, he became extremely quiet,
almost like he was empty and doesn't have
much to offer any conversation. (He is a
quiet person in general, but this was more
so than usual.)He goes through periods of
time where he drinks a lot more often that
others, but not to the point where it
becomes a true problem. He is most often
very selfish and self-centered, which I
always thought was because he was an only
child. (Which I am one also and I am not
nearly as selfish.) He is very routine
about his sleep schedule and eating
schedule. He has also always been very
vague to me about his diagnosis and his
medicines. I do know that he takes
effexor.
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Jake3463
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Posts: 28 Location: Allentown
Sounds Like Depression Posted: 10-01-07 09:52am
Sounds like depression. If it was a mixed
episode he'd have alot of energy but
depressed thoughts. So he'd be frantic
but not happy. Alot of energy but
miserable.