Wife Wants to Go Out With Single Male Friend................ Posted: 09-29-07 11:59am
Hi,
My wife and i have been married for 13
years this month. Virtually a problem
free marriage with 2 beautiful daughters.
About 2 months ago i hire a friend of
mines brother who is single to work for
the company i work for. He is living in
our basement until his place is ready. My
wife would like to go out to the bar with
him tonight to play pool and shoot darts
while i watch the kids. She says she
would be home by 11. I am uncomfortable
with this even though i trust her and get
along great with him. I guess you could
call me old fashioned even though i am 36
and wifey is 39. It just doesn't seem
proper for a married woman to go out with
a single guy even as friends. If she
wanted to go out with her girlfriends
(which she does on occasion) i would have
no problem with it although i wouldn't
want her to stay out all night. I have
been out int the past with this guy and he
is a good person but i know what a few
drinks can do to someone. She keeps
throwing it in my face that i get to go
fishing and 4 wheeling with my friends on
occasion but you know what? none of them
are women!! Am i being insecure or are
these feelings justified???
|
Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5323 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 64
Thanked:28
Posted: 09-29-07 20:30pm
I honestly don't think it's a problem.
Since you live together, you would know if
there was something going on. She probably
just wants to have fun- and she has every
right to be a friend with him, especially
because you all live together!
I wouldn't worry. You can voice your
concern to her in a nice, non-
confrontational way and see how she
reacts, but I wouldn't worry about it too
much.
|
mjstef71
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Sep 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 09-29-07 20:44pm
Georgia59
wrote:
I honestly don't think it's
a problem. Since you live together, you
would know if there was something going
on. She probably just wants to have fun-
and she has every right to be a friend
with him, especially because you all live
together!
I wouldn't worry. You can voice your
concern to her in a nice, non-
confrontational way and see how she
reacts, but I wouldn't worry about it too
much.
If the roles were reversed and the boarder
was a woman I don't think she
would like it.
|
hopefulmjz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 Mar 2005 Posts: 4777 Location: , USA
Thanks: 3
Thanked:11
Posted: 09-29-07 20:51pm
I don't think that would be the best idea.
Why can't you find a babysitter and the 3
of you go out?
|
Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1088 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 13
Thanked:4
Posted: 10-05-07 11:50am
Being fair in all is important in a
relationship but, thats crossing the line
a little. Why should you stay home with
the kids while she goes out with another
man? I am also old fashioned but my hubby
would not fly for this and I wouldnt like
it if he did something like that. If you
are uncomfortable let her know. But do it
gently like a previous poster suggested.
|
MS is hard
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 3 Location: ,
Posted: 10-05-07 19:54pm
[quote]Since you live together, you would
know if there was something going on.Ok
first what rock did you climb out from
under?We all have to sleep so what is to
say that when (hubby) is asleep the wife
and live-in meet in bed or another room
for a quikey?
Husband and wife can't be together 24/7
and for her to tell husband to stay home
she is going out on a (date)more or less
is a little fishy.
I don't think my wife would like if I told
her hey I met a lady at say at
Wal-Mart/store the other night and she
wants to go out for a beer and play pool
you need to stay home will be back around
11 after we have sex.......if there is
nothing wrong or going on than all three
should go.
That just does not sound right.
|
Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 10-06-07 18:01pm
something could already be going on. look
for signs.
|
The Ginger 1
Supporter
Joined: 09 Jul 2007 Posts: 556 Location: Loony-tune-land, England
Posted: 10-07-07 07:33am
Hey there .... it could be all innocent,
but there are alarm bells ringing in your
head ... take the warning signs !! You
could get a sitter, and join them.... if
you know where they are going, just
'surprise' them and turn up ..... if there
is nothing goin on, then they will be glad
to see you, won't they ??!!
|
To0kxy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2007 Posts: 24 Location: ,
Posted: 12-04-07 19:01pm
You have to let her go. It is weird
depending which way you look at it. Your
wife probably hasnt even thought how the
situation would look in your eyes. If you
let her go she will come home by 11
feeling trusted and you will have even
more trust in her than you do now. If she
is not home by 11. I would be getting a
babysitter next time.
|
bitzy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2007 Posts: 10
Posted: 12-26-07 23:02pm
ask her why she would prefer to go out
with him than you? Maybe it is her way to
try to make you jealous. maybe she is
seeking out attention from you. is your
routine the same everyday? It is
something that I think you should approach
in a manner, not a demanding one, but
maybe seek out a babysitter and start
paying attention more-it sounds like you
need to show her how much you still love
her. She is looking for love- your gut
tells you it isn't right- and I think you
are right to worry, but she just might be
needing you to pay more attention to her.
don't get jealous. keep showing her the
love
|
mominashoe
Supporter
Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1560 Location: , USA
Thanks: 13
Thanked:3
Posted: 12-26-07 23:30pm
Maybe you could both go together? Don't
make her feel that she can't do the same
things with him as she can with you. He's
single and has not much to lose. Your
relationship could be at stake for her.
Otherwise, it's bad enough that the guy is
living in close quarters already. If
feelings aren't there already, it's very
likely that the temptation is there to
start something. I don't think it is at
all wrong to have a red flag up in your
mind over this situation. All because
most people seem to have relaxed their
standards over time doesn't make the
situations any more right or decrease your
rights as a husband. You might call it
"old-fashioned" but it's more like "proper
etiquette" that people just don't practice
anymore, even though they should.
Personally, I wouldn't even go to a bar
alone with my brother-in-law or any other
male than my husband (well a brother would
be ok if I had one lol).
Give her some other options to have a good
time with you....and try to get another
place for the guy to stay. You don't need
that tension so close by.
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