Disconnection With Reality And Uncontrollable Fear Posted: 10-01-07 23:56pm
Last year, I was in a horrible state of
mind. My father had passed away and the
relationship with the girl I had been
dating for 4 years fell apart. I am
currently 21 years old. I was in a band
playing music and going around on tour and
such, and I started smoking marijuana
daily. For about a year straight I'm not
sure that there was more than a handful of
days I hadn't done that. I also
experimented seldomly with other drugs. I
am now currently back in college, and have
collected my life again. I'm taking it
serious, took classes over the summer and
got A's and now I am in the middle of this
semester and doing perfect in all of my
classes. My household is odd, I live with
my sister and mother. My sister is weird
in the way that no matter what I do, she
always tries to make things up or make it
horrible in the eyes of my mother so she
gets upset with me. Ever since my father
died, my mother hasn't really been too
open. So I feel stuck in this house with
no one really to talk to and to share that
family type of love with. During the day,
at random times, my mind will feel as if
I'm looking through a veil. The world
seems to cease to exist and I honestly
feel as if everything is fake; vision,
hearing, touch, and even being alive. I
get myself caught up in the idea of how we
are biological entities and understand
that I am one and do not understand how
this reality comes from such weird means
of life. I cannot get my mind off of
things like this and no matter what I do
my mind is always trying to find the
answers to everything. It is in this
feeling of disconnection with reality and
the fear of what I am that I lose it. Out
of nowhere I feel like I'm dying and that
nothing is right. I feel the loss of my
father as if I had just found out he died
and am reduced to tears. I feel as if the
relationships I have in my life are no
longer rational, and don't make sense.
This psychosis is tearing away at the
stability I am trying to find in my life
and I just want to know if this is onset
by last year, and if it will fade, because
every time this disconnection happens it
feels just as scary as the time before.
Is there anything I can do about this?...
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
An Escape Posted: 10-04-07 17:23pm
This is possibilly your minds way to
escape your anxiety and
stress. But, not a good way to do it. We
have to learn how to face them head on.
Unforunatly they are not going away. So,
we take our med's, see our doctors and try
and eleveate those "Triggers" that might
start a spark. Easier said then done, I
know. Yes, I am telling you, if your job
is a "Trigger" LEAVE IT! Your
relationship, try and sit down and work it
out. Since this is not going away by
itself, it needs OUR help too. And that
means to do everything in our power to
combat it.
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MatthewJohn
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Oct 2007 Posts: 2
Posted: 10-05-07 00:37am
I never have looked into seeing anyone or
medication or anything. I don't really
like the idea of changing my brain
chemistry, but I'm not really too educated
in the effects and benefits of them. I
never really went to see anyone either.
Do you think I should make an appointment
about this? Its kind of embarrassing to
me and to spill my guts, and would be
especially hard in person.
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WShep
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 67 Location: SoCal, USA
Posted: 10-05-07 01:42am
The people that you would be going to talk
to are professionals. They go to school
for years and put it thousands of hours of
hard work to learn how to help people.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about
Even if you
are, a good therapist will go slow and
earn trust. Its about whats best for you,
they dont force anything. Just open up as
much as you can one appointment at a time.
Sometimes you might have to meet with a
few people to find one that you like and
get a long with. Once you do find that
therapist/counselor/psychologist things
will only get better.
It will take time and hard work, but
having a partner to take on life with is a
tremendous resource. Thats what my
therapist is. Shes like my second brain.
She helps me analyze whats going through
my head and offers a different, unbiased
opinion. One day I wont need her, but for
now I look forward to every meeting!
Go find someone tomorrow, dont debate it,
dont sleep on it, just go.
PS. If you dont want to take medication
you dont have to. They wont push it on
you. It is not a necessary part of all
therapy, but sometimes it may help for
sudden attacks or those morning when its
just too hard to get out of bed.
I wish you the best!
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CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007 Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
I Agree Posted: 10-05-07 05:12am
Yes, I have to agree with WShep. It's time
to put your pride in you pocket and go get
some help. I had been on Zanax for 4 years
and since finding out I now have MS, I was
put on Klonopin. Wow, what a difference.
After a while your system become immune to
medications and you have to change. I was
my time. Plus, Klonopin also has a
componient that works well with MS and
anxiety.
I agree, go get yourself some help so you
can feel better. You'll find yourself a
better person for it. Trust me.
Even if you
are, a good therapist will go slow and
earn trust. Its about whats best for you,
they dont force anything. Just open up as
much as you can one appointment at a time.
