i know i have another post elsewhere, but
i think that this is a different
situation...well lately ive been finding
myself feeling confused about
everything...i wonder to myself
if...well...anything good will ever happen
to me. I see my friend going out with
another girl...personally i dont think im
jealous that hes going out with someone,
rather saddened by how happy he is...he
just seems so...full.
and, honest to god, i cried inside(there
is nothing i will cry for other than..).
it made me realize how much there is out
there...how much can be accomplished...yet
at the same time it made me
realize how little i have done for myself
or for anyone for that matter...it made me
see how truly useless i am...i just
well...dont find myself being able to do
anything...i am a drone...everything i let
people think of me is what i DONT want
them to think of me...and whats worse is
that i dont feel like i can be me...i've
actually had a friend tell me that i dont
seem like ill ever...do anything...that im
useless in "The dating world, and
heartless" even to those closest to
me....which is somewhat true...i dont feel
i can trust anyone with myself...i know
friends are there because they're supposed
to support you and all...but i find
everything so difficult...
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WShep
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 67 Location: SoCal, USA
Posted: 10-07-07 23:59pm
Hey Food! Glad to see you back.
I only have one small suggestion.....you
gotta start small. It sounds like you
could use some wins on your side. One
needs little successes here and there to
build up their confidence.. Is there
anywhere you can volunteer? Maybe you can
offer support to others feeling like you
are right on these very forums. Let them
know they arent alone, let them know you
can empathize. Share in similar
experiences. You dont have to have all the
answers to help someone. By helping others
and knowing you are a good person, you
will start to feel more confident about
yourself. Once you start feeling that
way, all these issues of you being good
enough will go away. Start small
brother.
Even if you help an old lady cross the
road, you did something kind and with good
intentions, that makes you a winner in my
book.
Hey I gotta win for you! You are
concerned. You actually care about being
good enough for your future partner. Did
you know that there are some people out
there who dont think like that at all?!?
Dont care if they are good enough and just
want to use another for their own personal
gratification?!?!? You dont want someone
to use and abuse, you want someone that is
taken care of and can rely on you. I think
you are going to make you future
girlfriend/boyfriend very happy, they are
truly lucky.
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FoodDRadio
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Sep 2007 Posts: 70 Location: ,
Posted: 10-08-07 01:26am
Well...thanks, i was thinking somewhere
along those lines myself....lately ive
been thinking that if i really want to
make the person i want to be with
happy...i'm going to have to be happy
myself....so i've been taking time lately
to find ways of bettering
myself(Image,Confidence,etc.) but i still
dont feel any confidence...but even if i
want to help people that feel the way i do
i'd have to go to a Depressed Teens
meeting in our local Kaiser Place, but my
friend's mother works there so he ends up
going to the hospital sometimes himself,
and i dont want him to see me there...
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moonshinemix
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 37
Posted: 10-08-07 02:13am
It takes time! Take it step at a time.
Baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day.
You don't have to do this, but I do this
every time I feel down... When I go to
the shops, I look for a person that looks
sad and I pay that person a compliment. I
saw a pregnant lady who looked tired, that
she had a very pretty drees on and asked
her where she got it. You should have
seen her eyes light up. That just gave me
a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I've been
doing it for quite a time and I find that
it works for me.
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WShep
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 67 Location: SoCal, USA
Posted: 10-08-07 15:36pm
The other day I was going on a hike. Some
lady was almost attacked by another
persons dog and they were obviously shaken
from the heated exchange between her and
the dog owner.
All I did was say hello, listen to her
story, told her I was glad that at least
she was okay....and the women was visibly
better just for having someone listen and
show sympathy.
Start small bud Be
Creative.
|
FoodDRadio
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Sep 2007 Posts: 70 Location: ,
Posted: 10-08-07 17:42pm
Arghhhh...Everything just doesnt make
sense to me anymore....i dont even know
how i feel anymore...i saw her with her
(ex?)Boyfriend and well...i wasn't
sad...personally i dont know how i feel
about it...when i knew how i felt, i would
feel quite calm when i was around
her....but now when im near her it makes
me so sad....Ive been late at least 17
minutes into classes i have with her AND
ive skipped 2 days, just so i dont see
her...but i always have the
irresistibility to see her....I need help,
but i dont want to get it...i also NEED to
know how i feel...i'm beginning to lose
interest and motivation in
anything...nothing just seems to matter
anymore....
|
moonshinemix
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 37
Posted: 10-09-07 00:52am
It's a part of life's experiences. You're
still young. If you don't feel jelousy,
then it must be trust. Speak to her if
you want to try make it work. Otherwise
expect a couple of heart breaks. I went
through a lot of boyfriends through my
school years before I met "the one". I
even broke a relationship off 2 months
before the wedding (mutual agreement)
because we weren't ready. Call it
"gaining experience in looking for the ONE
true person who you can trust, communicate
properly with, love and be your companion.
It sux to have to go through all the
awfull breakups and feelings with it, but
it's part of life's lessons. Time will
heal your heart. Have a little faith in
yourself.
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FoodDRadio
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Sep 2007 Posts: 70 Location: ,
Posted: 10-09-07 17:16pm
Well "making it work" means something has
already happened...in my case, nothing is
happening...which makes me angry...things
would be easier if for some unknown reason
i wound up alone with her...to make things
worse, i Fxxked up one "repairing
myself"...i cut myself. I've been trying
to cover it up with band aids and such,
but everyone accuses me of doing what i
did. and ive been giving a false story of
"how i burnt myself" and to amke it even
worse...i dont want that feeling...so i am
actually trying to burn myself over those
cut marks....i know its dumb...but it has
to be done....
|
moonshinemix
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 37
Posted: 10-13-07 02:30am
Some people do harmn to themselves for
certain reasons.
1. They are looking for attention
2. Some depressed people sometimes feel
"dead" inside that they cut themselves to
"feel" something. This way they try to
make sure that they exist, that they are
still human somehow.
Either way, these are not the solutions.
I think you should seek some professional
help, to teach you some techniques on how
to cope with certain confusing feelings.
The main thing is that you need to take it
one step at a time, Rome wasn't built in a
day. Be patient.
As for your girlfirend, communication is
the key. Talk. Always talk. No
rel;ationship can work without
communication.
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
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Creative.