Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 62 Location: Spokane, wa USA
So My Bfs Selection In Porn Has Me Worried... Posted: 10-07-07 03:49am
i just was on my bf laptop with his
permission and I wanted to look thorugh to
see what kind of porn he watches. I
thought the usual maybe some faux rape or
something but nothing could prepare me for
what I saw.
Im at the very least to say worried out of
my doing it mind. It was all incest and
LITTLE GIRLS. Like 10 year olds and stuff
like that. I love him but the problem is
that stuff scares me. His younger brother
molested his younger sister since she was
6 and now Im kind of freakin out. Someone
give me something to idk...just talk to me
about this. I tried to talk to him but he
wont wake up and I think he is trying to
avoid that.
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deebaby621
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 251 Location: North Carolina
Posted: 10-07-07 09:00am
that is extremely scary. if i was in your
situation i would definitely talk to him
as soon as possible.. i would feel sick
& twisted if i stayed with someone who
looked at stuff such as that. get yourself
out of this relationship asap! he will
probably try to make excuses .. but if he
doesn't & he tries to apologize &
"explain" - don't fall for it. there's
absolutely no good reasoning for a grown
man to be viewing stuff such as that &
i wouldn't stand for it for one minute.
i'm sure you love him & care a lot
about him.. but seeing something like that
would definitely make me question not only
him.. but our whole relationship in
general. be strong.. & you're in my
thoughts.
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Confused_Stressed
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 62 Location: Spokane, wa USA
Posted: 10-07-07 11:20am
well i confronted him this morning,
probably not the best way. first he said
that he didnt have any porn on his
computer. I told him yes he does and I
can show him. Then he came clean and said
that he likes the "barely legal" stuff. I
was like thats ok bc most of those girls
are like 20 ish, but the girls I saw were
(more than likely of age) but they looked
like 12 and stuff. he said he didnt have
anything like that? HELP
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 10-07-07 11:54am
Go to his computer and open it! Show him!
You know where it is so get it. I really
feel the same as the others on here...
this stuff is normally a sign of something
deeper.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 10-07-07 11:56am
thats horrible and sick and discusting
eww gross
you need to leave him asap
thats seriously some pedifile stuff. thats
just...horrible!
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donb_fl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2007 Posts: 22 Location: Palm Beach, FL USA
Posted: 10-08-07 20:24pm
sounds like he needs therapy, his sexual
focus was altered into a harmful abnormal
state by his early experience. I would
expect there is more abuse in his history
he isnt talking about. First he needs to
delete this stuff and start refocusing his
sexuality on normal healthy adult women,
and he needs deep psychotherapy.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5323 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 64
Thanked:28
Posted: 10-08-07 21:36pm
There's a problem here that he needs
therapy to help. Given his history of
molestation in his family, it seems like
he still has some issues that need to be
worked out.
You don't necessarily have to leave him,
but I would require (if he were my bf)
that he go to therapy and get these issues
addressed. You don't want to have to deal
with this later, like, when you have
children.
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yellowfestiva
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2007 Posts: 12
Posted: 12-07-07 03:29am
i agree that it kind of souns like he
could be having problems with old memories
that are causing him to like things that
normally one shouldnt. however before you
go and leave him you need to ask yourself
will that help solve anything. if things
start looking like violence or other bad
things could start happening you do have
to think about yourself however if you do
actually love your boyfriend you should
help him get past this so that he can be
mentally healthy again.
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dondeluis
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Nov 2007 Posts: 14
Posted: 12-08-07 13:42pm
They won't be on the internet if they are
not above legal age. I think the girls
probably just look young. For example
Jordan Capri, probably looks like she's 14
but she's really 20ish.
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Tylanas
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 12985
Thanks: 3
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-08-07 14:29pm
Oh trust me there are underage images on
the net; otherwise people wouldn't get
arrested for it.
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Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1620 Location: ,
Posted: 12-09-07 18:46pm
First off, let me state that I don't
condone such material, nor do I watch it.
I don't watch porn at all, in fact, that's
what my wife is for! But regardless, I do
know about tricks the industry plays. For
example, most of the 'barely legal',
'incest' and 'kiddie porn' stuff out there
are actually actresses picked specifically
because they LOOK the part, they aren't
really. Of course, this doesn't address
the issue that he enjoys the fact that
they look it, if he's aware. You need to
confront where he accessed the material
and search through his computer logs. If
it came from some site where you pay, then
it's quite likely NOT what you think it
is, just another disturbing site claiming
to be disturbing. However, if he's
getting this stuff on Kazaa or through
obscure sharing sites, then you have a
problem that needs addressed, I just
wanted to make it known that a lot of this
stuff is just a gimmick. Still sick,
because the individual who buys it is
doing so thinking or knowing that it will
LOOK real, but not illegal if it's not
real.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5323 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 64
Thanked:28
Posted: 12-11-07 13:06pm
Right- the barely legal stuff is probably
young women who do look young and is
really quite popular.
BUT- there is child pornography on the
web. You can find it if you want. It is
illegal to store on your computer in
America, but it is not illegal to post
anything to the web- the internet is
completely free of regulation because it
is international. So you can get arrested
in America for making, viewing, or
downloading child porn, but it is
completely legal in some countries and
thus it gets on the internet.
Plus there are people making it illegally
in America too, but that's different.
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Stan
Moderator
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 1620 Location: ,
Posted: 12-11-07 13:21pm
Yeah, thus why she needs to check the
logs. Let me know if you need
instructions on how to check all the
secrets on there, some people think they
know how to delete items and history but
don't know where it hides. You can then
find where he downloaded stuff and where
it came from. Foreign sites with tags
like ru instead of com could mean he's
very, very bad.
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JacobRyan
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 142 Location: Ohio,
Posted: 12-12-07 02:04am
If you know that he is lying about it just
being barely legal, and you know those
girls were not old enough for the content
pry through his lies and make him admit
it. Be sensitive though, if this is a
revisiting of past traumatic experiences
you would'nt want to upset him and make
him feel completely rejected by you. Let
him know that if he is feeling something
deep, something unwanted, that you are
willing to go through the steps to
eliminate it, be it therapy or whatever.
If he continues to give you lies and it
just seems like he gets off to 10 year
olds, I would seriously leave him.
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Commando18x
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Nov 2007 Posts: 18
Posted: 12-12-07 02:33am
Everything written above is true in the
fact that:
1.it is wrong
2.there is a history of this behavior in
his family and his associations to sex are
slightly screwed up
3.IT NEEDS TO BE HANDLED IN A delicate and
quite matter.
The reason I say delicate is you both seem
young and still maturing mentally as far
as sex and self actualization is
concerned. You also have a relationship
that you seem to be invested in
emotionally and mentally, given you having
problems with your "find". So to save him
from being put on a predators list I would
talk to him about seeking treatment for
this, so long as it does not hurt
(legally label him a predator) him in the
future.
you have to realize that even though this
is sick and wrong its the human mind. We
all think things that we some times feel
ashamed of and this is just part of the
human condition. The difference between
being and thinking is accepting the idea
as OK. In essence, you are not your
thoughts, just your accepted ideas.
For him, his thoughts have manifested into
visuals. The snakes head must be cut off
here to keep it form turning into ACTIONS.
This does not mean RASH action on your
part should be taken. you should really
establish a line of communication and
questioning to determine the severity of
this situation. Maybe they are just really
young looking girls. regardless, this is a
problem and evidence of it not being one
needs to be found.
Don't listen to these people who are
saying "leave him". If you are as invested
as you sound into this relationship it is
an obligation to help him.
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