Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 67 Location: texas, america
It Never Lasts Long Enough Posted: 10-10-07 11:10am
all the joy of my virgo quitting his beer
drinking days are gone...he fell off the
wagon ...now the dred of what the weekend
will bring ....I walk on egg shells and I
spend the time alone with him in the same
space....I can't go where he ends up after
a few beers so he goes off and entertains
himself. while I was out of town he
started again ...I can't ever leave town?
am getting my mind set for what I know is
coming , lonely days lonelier nights and
the smell of beer in his pours. I hate
that he needs to drink at all his best
friend and still devoted friend D.S. told
me my virgo started drinking at ten years
of age the child of alcoholic parents. he
is 52 now I can't hope for him to quit
now. I noticed that the next day I got up
early so I could raid his pockets for what
ever money was left cause he smokes too
and there was just enough for a carton of
cigarettes and a tank of gas ...I was sure
if I did not take care of it he might
drink it and there would be no gas and no
cigarettes ....why I complain if I choose
to stay in this I don't know maybe because
I can and thats all I can do ...I don't
understand myself in this who chooses to
love and remain with an alcoholic ? is
there a club I can join out there for
stupid women like me? what very little
change came when he was sober will be gone
in no time his beer causes him to leave me
without leaving.........torn and alone til
he comes to his senses....I believe I will
get some counseling before I lose myself
in this and can't find a way out. the
shock is still on me I believed he would
need a reason to start again but no he
just wants to poison himself in front of
me liquid suicide one can at a time . who
do I get mad at? his history , his
illness, his weakness, there is this
treasure of a man in there with the drunk
that I am gonna miss alot . I wish I did
not love him so much . I could walk away
then. I don't so much need any replys just
a sounding board for what is in my head.
thank you
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shadowalker164
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 175 Location: Tampa, FL
Posted: 10-10-07 12:57pm
"is there a club I can join out there for
stupid women like me?"
AlAnon
Richard
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1088 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 13
Thanked:4
Posted: 10-10-07 15:26pm
Yes it works. It can help you in so many
areas in your life. Try it, you can find
the number is the phone book or online
even. I think they probably have a
website where you can find a meeting near
you. its scary at first but there are
people out there just like you. It has
helped me have a relationship with my mom.
She is a mom now. Its the best gift.
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wazzywoman4ever
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2007 Posts: 67 Location: texas, america
:)he He He He Posted: 10-12-07 17:32pm
yes yes I know alonon.........would you
guys believe I have not gotten to it
yet????we went toe to toe over it just
yesterday .I wanted to know why? because
he was lonely.......I was just in el paso
helping my kid?????I was coming home soon
I even came home sooner per his
request?????the drinking is the symptom of
the reason he is at it.......I don't know
his past not all of it? suicide of a step
son in his first marraige after
divorce..for one ? child of alcoholic
parents ...two? but I guess any reason
will do huh richard? if he is gonna he
just wants to and no reason works too. God
brought me here He needs to infuse me with
what ever it will take to love this man
through this right . hey I enquired at a
mental health facility too ....50.00 per
session $$$$$$$$ thats alot when you have
nothing ...yes I know alonon....you guys
will be the first to know when i get to
that meeting. thank you . wazzywoman
/robiin
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shadowalker164
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Jan 2005 Posts: 175 Location: Tampa, FL
Posted: 10-29-07 08:21am
“but I guess any reason will do”….
You are starting to get it Robin. It is
insane, we will drink for any reason
what-so-ever. We will drink for no reason,
We drink when things are going good to
celebrate, we drink when things are going
bad to feel better. We drink when nothing
is going on to relieve the boredom. But
mostly, we drink because we are driven
before an obsession we can not control of
refuse. Not alone that is.
But don’t despair too much. Sometimes a
slip or two is useful, if it clears up any
misconceptions about who and what we are.
Maybe your guy is getting a clearer idea
about what he is facing, I hope so.
But you, now that is another question
entirely. You have little to no control
over if he drinks or not, you know that.
But you have a world of options available
to you as to what you choose to do. My
suggestion is, visit that AlAnon site
nightflight offered. You can get your feet
wet in 12 step recovery there and maybe
meet other women, who for reason I can not
fathom, fall in love with drunks like your
guy and me.
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