I want a baby

i am 20 married for almost a year and trying to concieve.

no one can tell you you are or arent ready for a baby. only you and your boyfriend know that.

HOWEVER...

i SUGGEST living together for a while before you try to bring another life into the picture. i know from personal experience living with someone else, dealing with money, and life decisions together is ALOT diffrent than when everything is seperate. its best to get all of that in order FIRST.

ALSO make sure you have ENOUGH..even EXTRA money to afford it. Babies cost alot of money. the doctor costs alot of money. even with insurance.

also you have to be sure your willing to give up alot. alot of time, alot of sleep, alot of love.

something as simple as going out to dinner with just your husbnad could take a lot of planning, finding a babysitter, or making sure the baby has everything he/she needs.

yes there are couples who get pregnant by suprise and dont have alot of these things in place and do just fine..

however it makes the proccess ALOT more enjoyable and easy if you have these things set first..

good luck

im 16 and im 31 weeks pregnant

if you are financially and emotioanlly stable then go for it
its not just a baby though
its not all fun and games
its not easy no matter what you think or how much money you make
theres always going to be a hard part about it

like beachlover aid you need to make sure things are set first
dont say "oh they are...i already know...blah blah blah" think about it
seriously

this boy whom youre with
you may not be with himforever
no relationship is guarenteed
things can happen
if you were to split up then what? could you support the baby by yourself? would you have a place to live?

think

best thing in life you could do

I think you should wait. You should never live your life entirely for another person, even if it is your child. Your child deserves a strong parent to look up to and be protected by. If you can't find a reason to be strong except by bringing an innocent life into this world, I highly suggest you seek a therapist or read a few self-help books. Things don't just magically become better because you have a baby.

What is your boyfriends take on this topic? Have you discussed it with his family? Why not get married if your truly ready for a child and a family?

I just wanted to say that I had my son when I was 18. I had always wanted a baby so when I found out that I was pregnant I was sooo happy. I was with the father for 3 yrs at that time so I thought that he would definitely stay with me. Surprise....surprise, he left me when I was pregnant than we got back together, then he left again when my son was 1. This time I made sure that he knew that if he left again I would never take him back. it was really hard because he got to go on with his life, partying, going out with his buddies, go to school and never have to worry about his baby. Whereas I had to do everything on my own. It was really difficult, I had to grow up really fast.

I now am married and I had my second child when I was 25. Man can I tell you that there is such a big difference having a child when you are ready for it. Not only financially but emotionally. I feel like I was a better mom the second time around. I didn't feel resentment, like I was missing out on anything. Not saying that you will feel this way, but just keep in mind that when you are sitting at home with a screaming baby and your friends call to say how much fun they are having without you that it is really hard.

From my personal experience if I were you I would wait just a little longer. I really do believe that being a teenager is a really important part of life. You should take that time to do all the things that you can't do with a child. Don't get me wrong I do not regret having my son, but I can tell you that my life would have turned out differently if I wouldn't have had him at such a young age.

i realize that having a baby isnt all fun and games, i know their expensive
My boyfriend and i are in a relationship that is a serious one where we see us spending the rest of our lives together, say what you want. yeah things may come in the way of us being happy and we may argue, but thats what relationships are, you get in a rut about something and you work it out. its just a problem.

ive had to grow up fast my entire life. ive had to babysit my two brothers since i was about 10 even though you should start babysitting at 13, i later had to babysit my two step sisters when my dad got re-married ALONG with my two brothers.4 KIDS and your only like 11 years old now PLUS your younger brother had menengitis and has a learning disability and you have to take care of him even though he doesnt co-operate well.

my boyfriend thinks we should wait until we move out of his parents house and into an apartment of our own. i can wait till we move out....

Being 18 and kicked out, living with my boyfriend, we've had money problems our self here and there. Just coming up with enough for our apartment was tough, but we did it. My boyfriend always said if i were to get pregnant with his child, he would not leave me. First off, his dad would kick his ass if he left me and i was pregnant, and my boyfriend always said, he would be there for me through it all. and the caca my boyfriend and i have been through, i know hes telling the truth.

I want to start off by saying that I was not implying that he is going to leave you. What I meant was that regardless of your relationship, you need to be willing to handle being a single parent. Unfortunately, things happen. And you need to be prepared before they do, not when they do.

I think if he directly told you that he wants to wait until you move out of where you are currently living, that you are doing the right thing by respecting his wishes and waiting. Then, when he is ready too, I wish you both all the luck in the world.

Regardless of what you know today, what you know deep in your heart - whether it be about your boyfriend, your life being all sorted out, etc - all of that will change in the next few years. EVERYTHING changes. That doesn't mean it changes for the bad, but there will be huge changes in your life between the ages of 18-25 - it is a simple fact of life. Ask anyone. They'll tell you. I'm sure you are also getting a lot of advice to wait on having a baby - especially from people in your real life.

You'll make all your own choices, as you should, but take some time to reflect on your life first. A baby doesn't give anyone 'something to live for'. That is similar to saying 'A man will make me happy'. Sweetie, no man will make you happy if you aren't happy already and no baby will make your life worth living if it isn't worth living right now.

k it was a figure of speech, and you dont understand.
i said it not because i need a self- help book on how to make my life better or whatever, i said it because a baby CHANGES the world around you. You have to give up the things you like, you have to think about another living being, you cant always have those romantic nights with your boyfriend/ husband always because theres a baby in the picture. But i understand all that, and i am willing to give it all up, because i know that having a baby wont be all bad, theres times to laugh and be together too you just have to make some space and be patient.

I understand far more than you think I do. I had a baby when I was 16. I was kicked out of my house when I was 15. I took care of my brother (mom worked nights) from the time I was 8 years old. So... tell me, what about anything you have said do I not understand?

you obvuoisly didnt read what i wrote and only read you dont understand.
go back.
read again.
read carefully.
go back to what you wrote if you want read what you posted first then read my comment. then you will get it. i dont want to have to write things down twice and write what you say. just read.

ok your rude and you need to stop taking things people say as an attack. i personally think you don't need to have a child until you mature a little.

scraping by to get an apartment will not make it easy to have a child. Having the child is easy, taking care of it, not so easy.

take this advice; go to school, get a dgree, get a good paying job and at least get engaged. Make sure you are ready all around and then ask if your ready.

im not taking what people say as an attack, im just trying to clear up what i said so people dont think that the reason why i want a kid is just to have a kid, i know there are consequences, i know its hard, i cant say from personal experience cuz i dont have a child of my own.
I dont think you need to be in a house to have a child, there are many families out there who have children and live in a apartment, it doesnt make thenm less of a person just cuz they bring their child up in an apartment.
i know that my boyfriend and i are not financially ready but like beachlover801 said, sometimes pregnancies arent planned and things work out fine.
im out of school i cant afford college, and i have a job. college is not for me, and im fine with that. also, you dont always have to be engaged or married to have a successful relationship and what not. at least not to important to me, my boyfriend and i love each other and we know we'll be together.

So you are totally different than any other 18 year old girl who has come on here - or who regularly posts here - in your desire to have a baby? Is that what you are saying? Because I totally do not want to read anything wrong into what you are posting, lest you school me on it again.

Krystine... I just want to point out that this is no rudeness intended but whether its 4 or 14 babysitting children is not the same as parenting

i realize that babysitting and having a baby of your own is different, but as many of the teen mothers on this forum, i have also had to grow up fast, cuz i was like a second mother to my brothers from babysitting them at a young age.

yes i do have a desire to have a baby to care nurture and love, its not jsut to say i have a baby and im 18 i know that you have to give up alot when you have a child of your own, but im willing to give all that up.

You are right there a plenty of couples that are fine after and unplanned pregnancy. They work it out because they have to, and normally it is not easy. There is a lot of sacrafise involved on all parts. And most parents feel guitly that they were not able to offer more to their children.

However, you are not talking about an unplanned pregnancy. You are talking about a planned pregnancy. A situation were you are saying I am fully ready to bring a child into this world and offer them all the benifits in life they deserve. It really doesn't sound like you can offer a child everything they need right now. Once you and your boyfriend move out and everything is fine and you are paying bills without issues, that is when you should start planning.