21 Male, Needing Desperate Advice About Baby Boy Posted: 10-12-07 11:44am
Ok, this may take a while, but please read
and give me your views.
Here we go:
3 months ago a girl had my baby (total
mistake, but she was told she couldnt have
kids and she had this one) i made it clear
i wanted nothing to do with the baby. Now
its born, i do, and i have been involved
and saw it for the first time last week.
This is fine...but i feel like my mother
is taking over. The babys mum is always
texting my mum and not me about the baby
etc. Im not an experienced parent,
granted, but its like, she agrees that im
not fit enough to take him out etc. My mum
has offered me and my current girl to stay
in her house for reduced rent now, and i
feel its just because she wants to oversee
the baby.
I just went off on one because shes making
plans to take the baby shopping etc this
weekend (the one time i see him a week)
and i have different things i want to do
and spend time just me and him and my gf.
- sort of bonding.
Was i wrong to go off on one? It just
feels like shes talking to the mother of
the baby all the time...and im left in the
lurch, its really unfair, n it makes me
feel rubbish because i feel as though
noone feels i can manage a baby (even
though i took him shopping last monday in
town for a few hours)
Am i in the wrong? is she in the wrong?
Am i in the right? or am i in the wrong?
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Mommy35
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Sep 2006 Posts: 3165 Location: Vacationland, USA,
Posted: 10-12-07 11:57am
You would need to reword your poll
question. There is no way to answer yes
or no to your question.
I would need more information before I
were able to answer too.
What is your age?
Have you signed your parental rights
away?
Is there a valid reason why people think
you can't take care of a baby even for a
short time?
Why now do you want something to do with
the baby when before you didn't?
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tigresacanela24
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Nov 2005 Posts: 5261 Location: Treat your children well, eventually they'll choose your nursing home.
Posted: 10-12-07 13:43pm
Seriously, that's not a question that can
be answered without knowing more about the
situation.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5316 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 62
Thanked:27
Posted: 10-12-07 14:03pm
A lot of people have problems with their
parents being overly involved. Sometimes
it's justified and sometimes they're just
pushy. I would advise you to have a nice
talk with your mom and tell her that it's
your turn to be the adult and the parent.
Be nice about it, not confrontational, and
really tell her your feelings. See what
happens.
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jessamyn
Supporter
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 10-12-07 14:04pm
You really need to give out more knowledge
on this. As a grandmother she has every
right and wanting to be involved in her
grandsons life. She has probably wanted to
since the child was born where as you 12
months (yes including the pregnancy) down
the road decided to join in.
You can sit down with either you and the
childs mother or you, your mother, and her
and discuss your problems like rational
adults... holding them inside and
bickering online about it and to your
current girlfriend holds no good or
justice.
What makes you a non good dad? Try taking
a parenting course and reading up...
asking to see the child more often. If you
are his biological father, do you have a
custody agreement? if so you may end up
getting to see him more than once a week.
Also while were on topic, the new gf of
yours may also be a problem. You want
alone time with the baby so you her and
the child can bond.
As a mother that would be the last thign I
would want is my newborn child to bond
with their dads new gf... Time with your
son should be just that for now you and
him, or invite your mother out with you to
do activities together just be theleader
of the pack.
Maybe creating a better bond with both
woman will allow a general healthier
happier environment.
No one is right or wrong in this
situation.
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Georgia59
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5316 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 62
Thanked:27
Posted: 10-12-07 14:06pm
Maybe it's just the environment I'm in, I
don't know about the rest of the world-
but here, mixed race children are really
common and no one really thinks twice
about it. I think if you are prepared to
help your children deal with anything they
might face, it's only going to help
strengthen the community to introduce
diversity. Education is the key!!
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