Ending a Relationship Forum - Gay Relationship With a Closeted Man

Hello. I am 25 years old and for the past 6 years I have been dating a 44 year old man.

I am out (but by this I dont mean that I tell every person I meet that I am gay, just my family, friends and so on) and the person whom I was dating is very closeted.

When we first started dating, I can remember some of the crazy things he did (and that I would do too) to avoid him from his sexuality being exposed.

I remember about 6 months into the relationship he wanted me to meet his friends (who were straight and did not know that he was gay) and on the way to the guys house he stopped the car and said he changed his mind, could I wait here for him near the trees so no one can see ( i seriously cannot believe that I actually did it). He said he would only be a few minutes (i still have no idea what they were doing) So I waited, he saw his friend and his friends got into his car and he drove off and left me there!!! Waited for about 30 minutes and then decided to go look for a pay phone as my cell phone was out of credit. It was night time by now, raining and I had no idea where I was. Another 30 minutes passes and I finally found a payphone that worked, called him and got him to pick me up. I should have just left him there and then.

There have been pretty similar situations throughout the whole relationship, its as if he is married and I am his mistress or something like that (hey maybe he is married?). It has gotten worse recently. About 3 months ago he came to my house and was hungry so we went to KFC and I bought him some food. He quickly ate it and said he has to leave or else he would get into trouble. Then his brother calls him and he left in a real panic. It made me upset but I didnt think much of it as he always did weird things like this.

The week later he had scored a new job and wanted to take me out for lunch for a change. We had lunch pretty quickly but it wasnt that rushed until his brother started to call again. Then we left very quickly and he dropped me home. Almost immediately after he drove off his brother called me and started to ask where Gary (not his real name) was. I told him i saw him a few minutes ago but I dont know where he is now and that I thought he was going to see you. Then it started, he asked me around 20 times (no joke) if I was dating his brother to which I said no and told him that I was not gay. He then started to scream and asked why I called his brother so much and why did i see him all the time. I told him it was none of his business and hung up the phone. He kept calling back again and again and I tried to ignore it.

I tried to phone my boyfriend later to see what was going on but he would ignore my calls (later told me he was fighting with his brother) but he managed to call me the next day and was screaming at me too asking me why I told his brother that he was gay (which I did not do) and why I told him we were dating. To this day he still brings it up and doesnt believe me. He just says things like "I dont know if its my brother or you that are at fault. I didnt hear the conversation, but did you tell my brother that I am gay?". So he obviously blames me for being outed even though I never told anyone. I think he was naive to think it wouldnt happen eventually.

From then on I have not really seen him. He doesnt really call me and if he does its only for around 30 seconds "hi, how are you? I love you, bye" kind of conversation. We live in the same suburb and its walking distance between each others houses yet he won't visit.

A few days ago I called him, asked him what was going on. He said he couldnt talk and would call me back. He called me back but the conversation was short because someone was listening to our call at his end.

I had had enough of this crap so I called him back again on his cell phone asking him what its all about but he wouldnt talk said he would call me tomorrow which he never did, i called a few days later and he said that he had forgot to call me. Aghhh.

Kind of glad its over, without any doubt in my mind it is over but why cant he just say it instead of stringing me along? Instead of telling me that he loves me why not say "lets just be friends" or "maybe we should see other people" or "maybe we should go our separate ways"? Anything would have been nice. Oh well.

Thanks for reading, I really had to get this off my chest. Feel as though I have wasted 6 years of my life for nothing. What can you do?