We Are Ttc!! Only 16 And 17 Posted: 10-17-07 23:11pm
I finnaly started my period this week, it
was bitter sweet. last thursday I got my
wisdom teeth pulled and I was soo worried
I was pregnant and that all the stress,
meds, and anastetic would hurt my baby. I
was 7 days late but then...I started my
period and I was sorta hoping I would
becuase I didnt want to hurt the baby but
then again I was sad I wasnt becuase my bf
and I want a baby. I know it sounds crazy,
wanting a baby so young and all. The thing
is... I have been with my bf for a 2 years
and 1 month and we lost our virginity to
each other and 6 months into our
relationship, we found out I was pregnant,
however at 16 weeks I lost the baby. It
was soooo amazing being pregnant my bf and
I were thrilled, but it was a hard blow
losing the baby. Even then we wanted a
baby after what happend but we new we were
to young and now that my bf is a senior
and I will be a senior in high school next
year we are going to start ttc. I really
just want some support, tips on ttc ( ttc
for 2 months no baby yet, 1st pregnancy
was not planned) and just some people to
talk to, and I thought this would be a
great place to start.
btw...
We want to get merried.
Financially we can almost cover the
expenses of the baby. Ill be getting a job
now that we are ttc so that we have more
money coming in.
We will be moving in with each other when
my bf turns 18 in may.
We both WANT a baby, boy or girl. ( :
<3
Sorry if this was long everyone. Thank you
for your time.
|
Bridget
Moderator
Joined: 27 Jan 2006 Posts: 10817 Location: ,
Thanks: 61
Thanked:42
Posted: 10-18-07 06:26am
so you're a junior now? why not wait until
after you graduate? i just don't
understand the rush.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 10-18-07 08:52am
so what if you guys split
relationships are NOT guarenteed and they
dont always last forever
have you thought about that? because guess
what? even if you both "love each other
sooo much" and think yu are invincable
against life and time right now, he could
leave you anyday. same for you
sh** happens so be ready for it
have a backup plan because you need to
think about your childs life and not what
YOU want
sounds like you are trying to rush things.
are you insecure about yourself and your
relationship?
|
jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 10-18-07 09:18am
Why not learn to spell married before you
want to get married?
Hun you are a child, I understand that at
16 girls do get pregnant and that happens
and they choose to keep the child. But
that is an adult decision that resulted
from an unadult decision.
However, choooooosing to TTC at age 16 is
ultimately not a mature decision. You
"think" you have the means to cover a
baby? I hate that young girls think of it
that way.. its not just having a baby!!
Its not that same as holding your cousins
baby for 12 hours during thanksgiving, or
babysitting the neighbors twins when they
go out to dinner. Its not all about cute
outfits and the hipest stroller.
Having a CHILD, not a baby, is a life long
commitment. To grow up, have that
education behind you to educate your
child, to make correct decisions. Having
the financial stability to support your
child whether its food, clothing, housing,
security, safety, and health benefits. OR
buying him/her that $20 toy they want
sooooo bad when "oh caca you realized you
only have $31's till next pay day!"
What do you do on the weekends? Whats
important to you?
Having a child is an adult decision, it is
something you need to be mentally,
physcially, financially, emotionally
stable for.
Not to plan to live off the government,
plan to live with your parents, plan to
depend on others.
Yes depending on others is okay whennnn
you are capable of caring for yourself.
Which you are not.
I went to school, I graduated highschool,
went to college and working in a career
not a minimum wage job and I stillll
struggle. Why do you not want to try and
be able to wait till you are able to
provide everything for your child. Have
all the back ups covered.
I apologize if you feel like I am chewing
you out.
But I dated in highschool too. My
8thgrade/freshman boyfriend wanted to
marrrrry me too. The guy I dated for 3
more years in highschool, loved me and
wanted a future with me too. But guess
what? I am with niether!
Nothing is set in stone in highschool.
Nothing is official.
p.s. Suzy please dont take offense to any
of this!
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 10-18-07 10:35am
jessamyn i dont take offence to it
youve got a child so you know how it is
i respect that
young girls can be good moms too
youve got to have your life together. you
have to have a back up plan and not just
think about whats now and thinking it will
be like that forever. because life changes
so fast. life doesnt stay the same.
anything can happen anytime.
what do you do if he cheats on you when
your preg?
what do you do if he leaves you? what if
he dies in a car wreck?
how will YOU provide for your baby by
yourself? if you cant then youre not ready
for a baby.
youd have to work, school,and have time
for your baby AND yourself or you'll go
crazy. how will you be able to work full
time to make barely enough to get by? plus
do school? plus see your kid and have time
for yourself?
if you dont know
then dont have a baby
yep im sure your bf wants to marry you.
okay? then what?
he could still break up with you or just
split? marriage isnt a thing that lasts
forever either. so that doesnt mean a
thing
single OR married
you can be a good mom
single OR married you can also be a
horrible stressed parent whom cant provide
for your child.
jessamyn is right when you think about it.
sure it may not apply to everyone, some
girls CAN do it young and they do do it
young. and sometimes they are better off
then most 30 yr olds are. but MOST of the
time...you just dont know what youre up
against
im almost 8 months pregnant and ive got it
all figured out....for now.
im with the father...
i have what i need for both me and my
child
yeah one day we say we will get married
but heck anything could happen. what would
i do if he left? what would i do if he
dies? COULD I take care of kristen by
MYSELF.
these were all things i had to think about
when we found out i was pregnant and even
before then
think
it will get you a very long way in life
|
lover-and-a-fighter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 17
Posted: 10-18-07 12:22pm
I know why you all think what you do. You
have concerns, I understand that.
I know its not about cute outfits and the
hipest stroller. As for breacking up, we
both believe marriage is forever and not
something you give up on. The fact that
people divorce like its going out of style
is redicoulouse. Going into the
relationship we both made it clear were
not looking for some fling, that we wanted
a long term relationship. Every relation
ship I had been in before I new I did not
want to be with them forever and it was
the same with my boy friend and his ex
girl friends.
We are not just bf and gf we are best
friends and when I first got pregnant we
started going to teen couple work shops
once a month, and we still go, not becuase
we have problems but becuase we like to
encourage good comunication skills, etc. I
know that may sound corny but we think its
good to be able to talk with each other,
with out over reacting and all that etc.
Cheating can always happen in a relation
ship but I dont think it will happen in
ours my bf is satisfied with me and I with
him.
We also know that having a baby is going
to be hard...
Its only a baby for a couple years and
thats the easy part, we know that one day
it more then likely it will hate us, that
is part of growing up. We know they will
make mistakes. Thats ok we all do. I have
a great relationship with my parents, and
I hope to have an even better relationship
with my child. My bf Ulises has a horrable
relatioship with his parents and he
believes as well as me that we learn from
our parents/family/and friends mistrakes
so that we can do better and be better
parents, etc. I hope I have made a good
point.
And if my bf Ulises dies I know I would
have my family as well as his family to
support me and then I would have part of
him to keep going.
Thank you all for your input I know you
all believe its better for us to wait.
We are not trying to rush, Im not just
trying to get pregnant to skeem him into
staying with me, he wants the babys just
as much as me.
|
Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3775 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 27
Thanked:11
Posted: 10-18-07 12:27pm
Young girls can be good mothers, i like to
think of myself as one of those.
Why the rush? I turned 16 two weeks before
i gave birth to my daughter and i'm
telling you, you have no idea how hard it
is being a mother at 16. Luckily for me in
the Uk we finish school at 16 so i don't
have that added stress but i was in school
until i was 30 weeks and then doing exams
from 35-40 weeks, do you have any idea how
hard that is?
Do you want to loose all of your friends?
I have ONE friend now since i've had Mika,
only one who bothered to stick around, do
you want to have no friends?
What if you split up with your boyfriend?
Nothing is set in stone, you may say you
love eachother but you could still break
up at anytime, i know that with my
boyfriend aswell but i'm hoping that
doesn't happen but it still could. What
would you do if you did split up and if
your friends didn't want anything to do
with you?
What if your family disown you?
What if you never get to continue your
education?
How will you pay for a baby?
Where will you live?
I agree with Suzy, you need to think long
and hard about this. I hope to marry my
boyfriend ad father to my daughter but we
could still break up one day, think, how
many people do you know in their 30's who
are still in a relationship with the same
person they were with when they were 16?
|
jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 10-18-07 12:32pm
I know this isnt the same.... but lets say
males are 2 years less mature than
females.
Youre 16 and trying to get pregnant.
my 18 year old brother wanted to move out
of my parents house... sayign he wanted
his own life and privacy and space.
so my mom was like fine (knowing he would
learn a lesson) she typed out a balance
sheet for what he made and what he needed
to survive and even with the BARE
neccesities. Like rent, toilet paper,
food, gas, insurance. NO CELL< NO
EXTRAS< NO FUN (which he does have
cell, extras fun), he could not afford to
live on his own JUSTTTT HIM, not even
involving another soul.
she basically stuck it to him that try
paying for his insurance on his own and
then move up from there...
thats my advice for you.. why dont you try
that. NOT relying on your parents for
anything, provide a home, insurance, cell
phone, car, gas, etc... for yourself!!!
even flipping toothpaste... and see where
you go from there.
Try living together for a year without a
cerfew at home.
|
Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3775 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 27
Thanked:11
Posted: 10-18-07 12:48pm
jessamyn
wrote:
I know this isnt the
same.... but lets say males are 2 years
less mature than females.
Youre 16 and trying to get pregnant.
my 18 year old brother wanted to move out
of my parents house... sayign he wanted
his own life and privacy and space.
so my mom was like fine (knowing he would
learn a lesson) she typed out a balance
sheet for what he made and what he needed
to survive and even with the BARE
neccesities. Like rent, toilet paper,
food, gas, insurance. NO CELL< NO
EXTRAS< NO FUN (which he does have
cell, extras fun), he could not afford to
live on his own JUSTTTT HIM, not even
involving another soul.
she basically stuck it to him that try
paying for his insurance on his own and
then move up from there...
thats my advice for you.. why dont you try
that. NOT relying on your parents for
anything, provide a home, insurance, cell
phone, car, gas, etc... for yourself!!!
even flipping toothpaste... and see where
you go from there.
Try living together for a year without a
cerfew at
home.
^^^^^^^^^^
Tottaly agree! i pay for everything i use
at home. I go and buy food for me and Dom,
i pay part of the electricity, phone and
water bills, i give my mum rent, i buy
everything for my daughter, all she gets
from my parents are presents like a teddy
or an outfit they see in a store and like.
I clean my room, i wash mine and Mika's
clothes, i wash all my dishes and i cook
for myself unless my mum offers if Mika's
had a particularly unsettled day
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 10-18-07 20:53pm
like danni said
youre friends will leave you
they wont care anymore
youll never talk to ANYONE again
so what if you guys THINK marriage is
forever
that doesnt change anything
you dont know how to deal witha problem
unless it comes at you. so you cant say
you can get through anything
you might not
see if you cant think about the what if of
t he relationship then you arent raedy for
a baby
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 10-18-07 20:54pm
Dannzibelle
wrote:
jessamyn
wrote:
I know this isnt the
same.... but lets say males are 2 years
less mature than females.
Youre 16 and trying to get pregnant.
my 18 year old brother wanted to move out
of my parents house... sayign he wanted
his own life and privacy and space.
so my mom was like fine (knowing he would
learn a lesson) she typed out a balance
sheet for what he made and what he needed
to survive and even with the BARE
neccesities. Like rent, toilet paper,
food, gas, insurance. NO CELL< NO
EXTRAS< NO FUN (which he does have
cell, extras fun), he could not afford to
live on his own JUSTTTT HIM, not even
involving another soul.
she basically stuck it to him that try
paying for his insurance on his own and
then move up from there...
thats my advice for you.. why dont you try
that. NOT relying on your parents for
anything, provide a home, insurance, cell
phone, car, gas, etc... for yourself!!!
even flipping toothpaste... and see where
you go from there.
Try living together for a year without a
cerfew at
home.
^^^^^^^^^^
Tottaly agree! i pay for everything i use
at home. I go and buy food for me and Dom,
i pay part of the electricity, phone and
water bills, i give my mum rent, i buy
everything for my daughter, all she gets
from my parents are presents like a teddy
or an outfit they see in a store and like.
I clean my room, i wash mine and Mika's
clothes, i wash all my dishes and i cook
for myself unless my mum offers if Mika's
had a particularly unsettled
day
geez its gotta be hard
i dont have to pay rent right now thank
god. but we will soon.
money is tight in the first place
kristen isnt even here yet and shes
already expensive lol
|
HcoBrunette06
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Dec 2005 Posts: 8005 Location: Missouri, United States
Thanks: 2
Thanked:1
Posted: 10-18-07 22:35pm
I agree that nothing is set in stone.
I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, from
the time I was 14-17, we'd been best
friends since I was 12. I used to roll my
eyes when people would say "oh, you're
only 17? it's okay you'll find someone
new" i thought we could make it through
anything, too, and I'm not going to sit
here and say you cant. For all I know you
CAN, you guys could be together til you're
80 and I hope you are, we're just trying
to prepare you =) good luck in whatever
you decide.
|
Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6224 Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
Posted: 10-19-07 02:35am
The girls are so right. I was with my
boyfriend since we were 16. we got married
at 18, had our first baby at 20, second at
21.
last year after 6 years together
everything went horribly wrong and we
split and i am now with someone else and
planning a baby with them.
good luck and hope you are one of the ones
that make it
|
blondie_899
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2007 Posts: 62
Posted: 10-20-07 00:08am
I agree with everyone else.When I was 16 I
was with a guy for almost 2 years and I
was so sure about everything.Things
happened and we split up.I was with
another guy and we were engaged and once
again I thought everything would work out
and we broke up.So you see nothing in life
is ever guaranteed.You have to be ready
for the worst.Some couples grow apart and
change and other things happen.You just
never know.I mean I would like a baby too
but im not going to try and make that
happen,because I know im not financially
stable and I know that wouldn't be fair to
the baby.Your only 16 just enjoy your life
right now.You still have so much growing
up to do and alot of things to learn.
I have a friend who got pregnant at 16.Her
and this guy went out for 2 years and they
were so in love and both 16 and they were
engaged.Well things didn't work out and
they broke up.She had to go to night
school.Mostly all of her friends left her
and she was basically alone.She is now 18
and lives with her parents and goes to
community college and works and takes care
of her child.She can't move out because
she simply cannot afford to and she can't
go out and do alot of the things that her
friends do because she has a
responsibility.
Some of my friends that also got pregnant
at a young age their relationship didn't
last and some of them were even
married.Now it's really hard on them
because they weren't financially ready.
Im 18 and having a hard time just taking
care of myself and I don't even have a
child.When you first start off on your own
it's really hard to make ends meet.I
really hope you take into consideration
what all of us are saying.Why don't you
first try to live on your own and see how
that goes it's alot harder than what you
think.
|
mzLiLi
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Sep 2007 Posts: 60 Location: ,
Posted: 10-20-07 20:54pm
Okay I know it feels like everyone is
against you but I'm not. I am 17 too and I
and ttc it's not even about me and my
boyfriend it's all about me. If that's
what you feel like you're ready to do then
do it. But be sure this decision is one
that you can't change. If you don't like
it later you can't take it back to the
store. And if your sure and you can
provide a good life for your child then
good luck to you.
|
popminer
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 105 Location: ,
Posted: 10-20-07 22:55pm
im sorry i dont mean to totally like bash
on ANYONE. im not trying to be rude,
especially to you the girlfriend.
but don't bash what people want down,
because you might think your relationship
will last forever, but it might not
either.
so just, be careful with what you say. i
agree with not rushing it, but having sex
when your young is rushing anyway.
so, just remember that YOUR GUYS'
relationships might not last forever, so
don't pressure people into doing things
they dont want to do...or not doing
something they DO want to do.
sorry i really dont mean to be stupid.
|
lover-and-a-fighter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 17
Posted: 10-21-07 00:17am
mzLiLi
wrote:
Okay I know it feels like
everyone is against you but I'm not. I am
17 too and I and ttc it's not even about
me and my boyfriend it's all about me. If
that's what you feel like you're ready to
do then do it. But be sure this decision
is one that you can't change. If you don't
like it later you can't take it back to
the store. And if your sure and you can
provide a good life for your child then
good luck to
you.
Thank you. We know more than anything this
is what we want and we have wanted for a
long time. We know having a baby is going
to permanent, we are more than happy about
it. We know we can be great parents, we
know it will be hard and we may mistakes
no one is perfect though. mzLiLi good luck
ttc.
|
lover-and-a-fighter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 17
Posted: 10-21-07 00:25am
jessamyn
wrote:
I know this isnt the
same.... but lets say males are 2 years
less mature than females.
Youre 16 and trying to get pregnant.
my 18 year old brother wanted to move out
of my parents house... sayign he wanted
his own life and privacy and space.
so my mom was like fine (knowing he would
learn a lesson) she typed out a balance
sheet for what he made and what he needed
to survive and even with the BARE
neccesities. Like rent, toilet paper,
food, gas, insurance. NO CELL< NO
EXTRAS< NO FUN (which he does have
cell, extras fun), he could not afford to
live on his own JUSTTTT HIM, not even
involving another soul.
she basically stuck it to him that try
paying for his insurance on his own and
then move up from there...
thats my advice for you.. why dont you try
that. NOT relying on your parents for
anything, provide a home, insurance, cell
phone, car, gas, etc... for yourself!!!
even flipping toothpaste... and see where
you go from there.
Try living together for a year without a
cerfew at
home.
After we concieve were moving into his
grandmothers house. Thiers a room for the
baby and room for us. Free housing while
we continue to save money. We will be
aloud to stay even after the baby is born.
We will not have to worry about a good
portion of stuff for quite a while. But
believe me we will be saving as much money
as possable till we can move out. We could
move into the house my parents rent out
but it would be harder that way because of
the extra bills so we will wait on that.
|
lover-and-a-fighter
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Oct 2007 Posts: 17
Posted: 10-21-07 00:36am
popminer
wrote:
im sorry i dont mean to
totally like bash on ANYONE. im not trying
to be rude, especially to you the
girlfriend.
but don't bash what people want down,
because you might think your relationship
will last forever, but it might not
either.
so just, be careful with what you say. i
agree with not rushing it, but having sex
when your young is rushing anyway.
so, just remember that YOUR GUYS'
relationships might not last forever, so
don't pressure people into doing things
they dont want to do...or not doing
something they DO want to do.
sorry i really dont mean to be
stupid.
I think you made a good point.
|
Dannzibelle
Supporter
Joined: 23 Oct 2006 Posts: 3775 Location: South East, England
Thanks: 27
Thanked:11
Posted: 10-21-07 10:27am
lover-and-a-fighter
wrote:
popminer
wrote:
im sorry i dont mean to
totally like bash on ANYONE. im not trying
to be rude, especially to you the
girlfriend.
but don't bash what people want down,
because you might think your relationship
will last forever, but it might not
either.
so just, be careful with what you say. i
agree with not rushing it, but having sex
when your young is rushing anyway.
so, just remember that YOUR GUYS'
relationships might not last forever, so
don't pressure people into doing things
they dont want to do...or not doing
something they DO want to do.
sorry i really dont mean to be
stupid.
I think you made a good point.
just to add in i never said that me and
Dom will be together forever, i did say we
intend to marry but that doesn't last
forever either look at the divorce
rates....
i respect that
