|
muy878
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 10
|
I Really Need Help
Posted: 10-19-07 07:55am
|
|
|
|
i have been really strugling lately i know
this sound stupid but there is a girl i
love. we have been good friends for the
past two years and go to school together
as soon as i got to know her i fell in
love i have had crushes in the past but
nothing like this before. for about the
past year she has been dating a guy and we
were close friends talking at school and
outside of it to she then broke up with
him and our relationship started to become
further apart talking less for a while but
i think this was mostly down to me not
knowing what to say to her and with the
family troubles ive had made it hard for
me to make conversation. we then started
to get closer again but another guy took
advantage of her recent break up and they
have been dating scince and once again we
have been talking less but when we are
alone together we get along great, i cant
tell her the way i feel because it would
reck our relationship and i also feel like
the guy she is seeing is playing her and
is a real negative influence on her. i
feel so strongly about her it has made me
more depressed then i have ever been i
constantly think of her and feel even
worse when we dont talk now and have no
motivation to do anything. there is only a
week left of school and im afraid i wont
see her again after and i really dont want
to loose her as a friend and want to be
with her. i could really use some advice
because i dont know what to do, but i cant
leave her
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
CarolDiane
Supporter
Joined: 23 Sep 2007
Posts: 2396
Thanks: 111
Thanked:156
|
Rebound Relationships
Posted: 10-19-07 08:03am
|
|
|
|
|
Rebound relationships are very touchy. Due
to the fact that the person that was
jilted is usually just looking for someone
to take the other persons place. Like dust
in the wind. My advise to you would be,
since there is still a chance she could
get back with this original guy, I would
put my feelings on hold for a bit and try
to date others. You are spending to much
time dwelling on this girl and it is
bringing you down. You really need to try
and focus on other things right now and
let her come to you. And even if she does,
just be aware that she is in a "Rebound"
state of mind. This is not going to be
easy for you I know that. But, you really
have to try and not get depressed over
this.
Carrie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
muy878
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 10
|
Posted: 10-19-07 16:09pm
|
|
|
|
|
thank you for the reply. she has told me
she dosent want to get back together with
the orignail guy thanks for the advice i
would like to hear some more
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
|
Posted: 10-19-07 16:16pm
|
|
|
|
|
you need to tell her how you feel
dont let her slip away
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
muy878
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 10
|
Posted: 10-19-07 18:09pm
|
|
|
|
|
but thats what makes it so hard i feel i
cant just tell her because it will probly
ruin our friendship because shes in a
relationship at the moment even though i
really want to tell her
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
|
Posted: 10-19-07 20:35pm
|
|
|
|
|
yeah but you need to make her see shes in
an UNHEALTHY relationship
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
FoodDRadio
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Sep 2007
Posts: 70
Location: ,
|
Posted: 10-19-07 22:30pm
|
|
|
|
|
Ugh. It's not an easy thing to do, but you
obviously have to tell her that the person
she's dating is being a negative influence
on her, then tell her she's
changed(assuming she has) then just tell
her how you feel and how you feel in love
with the person she WAS, not the person
she's becoming and if she's going to be
with someone, it should be with someone
who actually CARES for her.
You also have to tell me if you're not
twisting the story to your advantage...AKA
making the guy look bad when he really
isnt...i know its kind of a strange thing
to ask, but i'll need examples to judge
that...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
muy878
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 10
|
Posted: 10-20-07 04:01am
|
|
|
|
|
it could be like that because i have
thought that about myself when thinking
about it that he could be the best person
for her, but he seems to be two faced from
things she has told me even though it
either dosent bother her or she dosent
realise because she is only seeing what
she wants to see in him just like i do in
her. the other day they had an arguement
and she couldnt stop shaking ive also
noticed changes in her character.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
FoodDRadio
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Sep 2007
Posts: 70
Location: ,
|
Posted: 10-21-07 02:21am
|
|
|
|
|
Well...what sort of changes are we talking
about...sometimes change is good.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
muy878
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 10
|
Posted: 10-21-07 04:46am
|
|
|
|
|
she's started to drink more and i sore her
have a smoke the other day i know this
seems just like she is having fun but this
is out of character for the good christian
girl that i know she is and the fact she
has been trying to get her friend to stop
smoking and leaver her abusive boyfriend
has just suprised me
|
|
|
|
|
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 5557
Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
|
Posted: 10-22-07 09:26am
|
|
|
|
|
Here's my advice-
be there for her now. Be her friend. If
you're concerned about her relationship,
tell her, but don't pressure her at all.
Don't tell her about your feelings until
she's single again, but once she is, man,
go for it!!
She's with another guy now, and you have
to accept that. Be there for her and make
sure she's safe and happy. She has a
boyfriend, she needs a friend. When she
breaks up with him, you can swoop in to
save her.
~Dr. Love (jk)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
jo_1982
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 33
Location: surrey
|
Posted: 10-22-07 18:29pm
|
|
|
|
|
Hey muy878
I have to say i think Georgia59 is right
on this one you cant tell this girl how
you feel she is in a relationship right
now and the best thing you can do is be
her friend and wait till she sees this guy
for what he really is i no it's hard to
sit back and wait
just think of the saying good things come
to them who wait
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
muy878
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 10
|
Posted: 10-23-07 01:02am
|
|
|
|
|
thanks for the advice jo_1982 and
gorgeia59 i think i will take it thank you
all so much for the help
|
|
|
|
|
|
Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 5557
Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 90
Thanked:32
|
Posted: 10-24-07 12:07pm
|
|
|
|
|
good luck buddy. Keep us updated.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
jo_1982
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 33
Location: surrey
|
Posted: 10-24-07 13:23pm
|
|
|
|
|
Good luck if you ever need to chat you can
pm me anytime
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
muy878
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007
Posts: 10
|
Posted: 10-25-07 19:19pm
|
|
|
|
|
just finished school yesterday and cant
help but feel that we are going to drit
apart completly what can i do to keep her
in my life if only as a friend
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 13932
Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
|
Posted: 10-25-07 19:22pm
|
|
|
|
|
| muy878
wrote: | | just finished school
yesterday and cant help but feel that we
are going to drit apart completly what can
i do to keep her in my life if only as a
friend |
tell her that you feel like shes a very
positive person in your life and that you
would like for her to coninue to be there
in your life
maybe see if you guys can hang out one
weekend? or hang out sometime
offer to take her somewhere just for
fun!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
jo_1982
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 33
Location: surrey
|
Posted: 10-26-07 05:59am
|
|
|
|
|
Hiya muy878
Do you live in the same area or close to
each other? if so txt or ring her and ask
her if she wants to hang out or think of
something fun you can do together you
should try and tell her your friendship
means alot to you i no it's hard when your
a guy trying to tell a girl about your
feelings but it maybe worth it opening up
|
|
|
|
|
