My Boyfriend And Our Future. Posted: 10-19-07 10:55am
I knew my boyfriend had Schizophrenia two
weeks into our relationship. He is on
medication (on and off) and it didn't
worry me until last night. We just got
done watching Donnie Darko (of all movies
to watch) and he started talking about his
situation. That sometimes he sees people
that aren't they, if he sees people
talking amongst themselves he hears them
say bad things about him, and he hears
other voices (well just one really). He
began trying to explain this all to me and
I'm not new to the whole schizophrenia
thing, but I've never been in a
relationship like this one with one
before. He went on to say that the only
reason he is on medication is because
society has marked him as crazy and he
isn't. He said he just has a different
perspective on things and that these
voices give him the inspiration and that a
psychiatrist can't tell him that these
voices are lying because no one can prove
their theories wrong.
I mean logically he's right. No one can
prove that some of the theories he's come
up with are wrong because its impossible
to do so. But the fact that he seems
upbeat about this worries me. I told him
to just keep taking his medication and he
is fine with that but he kept saying "What
if I'm right? What if these voices are god
telling me this. God obviously gave me
schizophrenia for a reason... and just
because everyone doesn't have
schizophrenia doesn't make it a bad
thing." Its frustrating to debate with a
relativist let alone a schizophrenic
relativist because in the eyes of a
relativist anyone's perception is fine
because philosophically we can't prove
that what that person see's is real or not
because we are not in their head. I'm
worried that in our future he will
continue to believe this is a gift and
continue to believe that he has telepathy
and I won't know what to do because he is
EXTREMELY stubborn to begin with.
He is only 23 and I want to know if
schizophrenia gets worse and worse over
time and if there is a possibility of
remission. He was only diagnosed with this
within a few years and I'm worried this is
just the beginning of more things to come.
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Philo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2007 Posts: 331 Location: Montreal
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Posted: 10-19-07 11:07am
Some patients remain stable and others
degenerate. There's a larger risk the
illness will degenerate if medication is
not taken. A small minority of patients
are cured naturally for no apparent
reason.
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Orange_Guppie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 4
Posted: 10-19-07 11:16am
Philo
wrote:
Some patients remain stable
and others degenerate. There's a larger
risk the illness will degenerate if
medication is not taken. A small minority
of patients are cured naturally for no
apparent reason.
I'm just a little worried he may become
the "classic" schizo (you know like the
one's you see in documentaries or ones
portrayed in movies) I'm worried about an
unstable life if children were to ever
come into the picture or marriage. (not in
that order. lol) And man is it frustrating
because he is SO persuasive... I mean at
times I think weird things to and the
possibility but I know I don't have
schizophrenia. Its just hard to explain to
him something I have no proof of... like
god and telepathy.
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Georgia59
Moderator
Joined: 11 Apr 2007 Posts: 5323 Location: Along the Mississippi, USA
Thanks: 65
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Posted: 10-19-07 13:00pm
You have to distance yourself a little and
realize that he doesn't know the
difference between reality and not reality
right now.
while his argument logically makes sense,
there is something in you that tells you
it doesn't, right? Some people with
schizophrenia try to rationalize their
experiences so gain credit or feel like a
normal person. That's what I would do. And
he doesn't realize that what he's
experiencing isn't real- that's what
schizophrenia is. He won't understand
this, and there's no way you can make him
understand it, until he is treated
successfully.
If you plan on staying with him, you are
going to need to develop a relationship
with his prescribing doctor. Right now,
his medications aren't working, or
something isn't working. While he may be
perfectly functional, if he still believes
his delusional thoughts are real, that is
wrong.
it's really hard with someone we love
because we want to believe them, we want
to validate them. But that won't help him.
Schizophrenia usually gets worse if
someone is not treated. It is a lifelong
illness for most people and most people
with it need to stay on medication until
the day they die. It usually shows up
around early adulthood and develops from
there, so it's possible that you don't
know the extent of his disease. I'm not
trying to scare you, but you need to know
that it's not just going to go away. He
deserves to have a loving relationship,
and it's perfectly reasonable to think
that he could be fine on medication. So
it's up to you to decide if it's worth
it.
Whatever you do, don't let your love for
him blind you to his delusions. I've been
there- I know it's hard.
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3772 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 86
Thanked:11
Posted: 10-19-07 19:34pm
It seems like this gentleman has limited
insight into his illness. Tread
carefully.
I know that when people are diagnosed with
schizophrenia younger and refuse to take
medications, the brain synapses degenerate
and it becomes much worse to treat as age
progresses. It is a biological illness,
and left untreated it will get worse.
Best of luck to you!
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Orange_Guppie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Oct 2007 Posts: 4
Posted: 10-31-07 13:26pm
So it happened again today. He called me
up and said that he saw a lady walking a
dog that looked just like my dog but he
said there was something different about
it. He said he looked down and back up and
the dog was gone. But in place of the dog
there was a bunch of neon colors that
looked as if something plucked the dog out
and left a residue. Like someone had
carved the dog out of existence. He said
he took his medication last night (and he
has been doing well with his meds lately)
so I told him to talk to his nurse
practitioner but he said if it happened
again he would. But he went on to say
"what if what I'm seeing is real though?
No one can say what reality really is
since no one can see through everyones
eyes" I didn't no what to say. I was
speechless.... all I said was "no. its not
there"
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Birch
Supporter
Joined: 07 Nov 2005 Posts: 3772 Location: Bliss,
Thanks: 86
Thanked:11
Posted: 10-31-07 16:44pm
Uh oh. Decomp on the horizon, perhaps.
Body chemistry can change; he's young, and
will need constant medicine maintainance.
You have to take everything he says with a
grain of understanding. And that grain is
"he is not himself right now".
Best wishes...and remember, the only
person you can control is you.
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