WARNING: LONG HORMONAL RANT!!
I'll be 33 weeks on Wednesday, and I'm
having a tough time. Not so much with the
pregnancy/food/weight gain/changing body
aspect of pregnancy but with some of the
aches and pains and other
pregnancy-related discomforts I'm having.
First, on top of everything, I got a call
from my mom and was told my grandmother
passed away early this morning
. It's not really
much of a shock; she was suffering for
years with advanced Parkinson's disease
and mild dementia and had an acute heart
attack a couple weeks ago. I did visit her
in the hospital after her heart attack,
which I'm glad I did. She was actually
quite alert even though she couldn't talk
much (just "yes" and "no" sometimes, most
of her words were garbled). She touched my
belly and would get excited whenever I
mentioned the baby coming in December. I
got to tell her I loved her and she held
on to my hand tight and said, "Love you"
back to me. I really thought I was going
to start bawling. But apparently, she was
downhill since that day; hospice had given
her five to seven days to live last week,
and I think they were pretty close on
their estimate. I am glad she is no longer
suffering and is at peace now, but I'm sad
that she won't be here to meet the new
baby
I always did feel
a closer connection with her than my two
sisters because we were a lot alike in
personality, both loving to read and both
of us teaching as adults. My mom even
showed me pictures of my grandmother when
she was young, and she looked just like
me. So anyway, that's just some sad news.
Last week Monday, I managed to hurt my
back, maybe walking (I had been going to
the gym and walking on the treadmill a few
days a week throughout this pregnancy) or
maybe getting up from a lying down
position. It just will not heal, despite
my taking it easy and not exercising. I
don't think it's just a muscle pain. It
might be sciatic pain or something else. I
get shooting pains in my lower back and
down my right butt cheek when I roll over,
stand up, walk, etc. So I'm having to see
my primary care physician to see if I can
get a referral to go to physical therapy.
There is at least, a group of PTs who work
with pregnant women in Houston, though it
is a bit of a drive, and my husband and I
have only one car, so I don't know how in
the world we'll manage it. He can't take
all that time from work to drive me.
Though I did call there and they said
depending on my case, maybe I can get a
mostly at-home program to work on and just
come in periodically for help and
evaluation from the therapists. I hope my
DH will agree to take me; possibly, I can
get my mom to come and take me, once the
funeral arrangements are made (it's
actually my dad's mom who passed away, but
my mom had been helping my aunt to take
care of her for years).
My hurt back is really starting to make me
depressed because I can't exercise. I
always did have a problem with compulsive
exercise (I have a history with eating
disorders from when I was in college) but
managed to tone it down to at least normal
amounts of exercise time and activity, but
not being able to walk is making me feel
like I'm getting lazy and fat. I was able
to deal with the weight gain while walking
by rationalizing that I'm keeping in shape
exercising a few days a week so what
weight I'm gaining I must need to be
gaining for the baby. But now I can't
exercise it's really driving me nuts! I'm
not restricting or engaging in ED
behaviors and don't have a desire to, but
I wish I could get these negative thoughts
out of my head!
So when I think things can hardly get
worse, I get extremely, extremely gassy
(sorry, TMI!)
. Well, it's bad
enough it's stinky, but worse is that most
of the gas is trapped on my stomach, so it
makes me terribly uncomfortable. Last
night, I could barely sleep, I kept waking
up so uncomfortable. I'm not constipated,
so I'm not sure what it is, maybe I
shouldn't have eaten beans, but I was
hoping the fiber would help to keep me
regular. I take Gas-X (OB OK'ed it), the
gas goes away a couple hours and then
comes back.
Argh! Is it December yet?!
