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I So Need Some Confidence With Who I Am
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laura225

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Joined: 22 Oct 2007
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I So Need Some Confidence With Who I Am
Posted: 10-22-07 13:26pm
i have just got back froma weekend with my boyf of 3 months. I'm 22 years old and feel quite confident with talking to people when they are talking and im joining in, or i'm in a meeting at work and can hide behind my knowledge. however this week i went to a 'commer' campervan meeting. my boyf has this time of camper and decided to chat to people on a forum about it. they decided to meet. my boyf wanted to go and def wanted me there. we didnt know anyone. when we got there we had a disagreement as he went for a wash and didnt come back for 2 hrs. i was really worried about him and where he was. it turns out he was chatting at the camper van next door. this sparked a discussion bout how i dont like my own company and we can't live in each others pockets. i lost my confidence then and found it so hard to show my personality. i have no hobbies and get so stressed out when i cant plan things or be in control. i hated the weekend and since cant stop crying. my boyf said it upsets him when i cry, but i cant stop. this just sounds nothing now iv put it on here. buts its so upsetting. i feel so awful when i have to show 'me' off. my personality. i just dont have one!! i also try so hard to please my boyf but feel im changing into the person i think he wants me to be when really he only wants me to be myself and not change. its weird. i really punish myself over this. i wana spend every available minute with him. and he really wants me to do things with him and be there but on the other hand to also be able to have just a few minutes me time too. i dont feel this need. its so hard. i love him so much. this sounds so jumbled. can i have some views please??
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Maddie34

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Posted: 10-22-07 17:04pm
Hm...

I think you're getting upset over nothing about not having a personality. Of course you have one and your boyfriend clearly loves you, so don't stress over that and try and calm down.

I'm a strong believer in being semi dependent from one's partner. No hobbies? Just find something you enjoy and have at it! It could be anything, from reading books to staying up late on a certain online forum? Very Happy If that doesn't appeal to you then try and join something fun and out of your box like yoga or kick boxing. There's an endless amount of things you can do, you just need to pick, and if you don't like it then try another.

You're not getting upset for nothing. You just need to relax and don't put yourself under a microscope, because no one feels good when they do that.
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laura225

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Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 6

Posted: 10-23-07 12:17pm
thanks for that. i do feel i put myself under a microscope. think it helped just getting my feelings down snd not judt whizzing arounbd in my head. dont think i had really explained myself to boyf. i have now tho. i just so want to be perfect at everuthing and i know this just cant happen
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Maddie34

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Posted: 10-23-07 12:35pm
Yeah, I know the feeling. And who wouldn't want to be everything their partner has ever wanted and more? I try too and really thats all they can ask right? Sometimes I do feel like its just me making one mistake after another and I feel like I'm ALWAYS apologizing for something I've messed up at. But my boyfriend loves me regardless, and it sounds like yours does too so I think that we are lucky ladies indeed. Smile

I'm glad that you worked things out with him. I think a majority of relationship problems can be solved with communication. But even as I say that I have to admit that sometimes... i just really suck it haha but a relationship can't grow without a pot holes in the road right? I just wish I didn't feel like I'm the one with the shovel!
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laura225

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Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 6

Posted: 10-23-07 12:44pm
def true. i think it will take me a while to build back my confidence after this. we have a day off 2 mz so gonna make the most of it and have some quality time doind something thats a bit more my thing. can't wait. hope boyf doesn't get bored tho. just gotta think its a day for me!! u seem to understand me tho. its good
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Maddie34

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Posted: 10-23-07 12:53pm
So you're taking a day off to yourself or your boyfriend is coming along for the ride? I wouldn't worry about him, if you are taking some me time then good for you!

And of course I can relate to you Smile any girl says she hasn't felt this way at one point in a relationship is either lying or doesn't have her heart fully involved. And if you ever need to talk, I'll probably be here. hehe I've got work study and relationship forums help me get through the day! Very Happy

Let me know how your day off goes.
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laura225

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 6

Posted: 10-23-07 13:09pm
we both work weird hours and it happens we both have a rotared day off!!!!
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Maddie34

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Posted: 10-23-07 13:28pm
Ugh, I'm sorry. I'm still pretty young and in some cases very stupid Smile So I have no idea what rotary days off really means. But I gather that you are spending the day with your bf?
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laura225

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2007
Posts: 6

Posted: 10-23-07 13:36pm
we both work weekends and so get the time off in the week!!
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