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How Often Is Too Often..

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OctoberBaby06

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Joined: 02 Dec 2006
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How Often Is Too Often.. Posted: 10-22-07 23:02pm


to get a babysitter? I'm asking because every weekend ((usually)) either Shane's mom or Kaylee's Godmother will take Kaylee for the night so Shane & I can have some alone time or just simply so I can catch up on housework. & once every 2 months or so, Kaylee's Godmother will take Kaylee Friday & Saturday nights & bring her back Sunday. I think it does Shane & I a whole world of good but I've gotten some comments lately from people in my family that I "never" have my daughter & that someone is always watching her. It makes me feel like I'm the world's worst mother but on the other hand, it's only the days like I said above that we don't have Kaylee here with us & I think I've only asked for a sitter maybe twice since she's been born. Shane's mom & Denise offer to take her to give us a mommy & daddy break. Soo I want all of you guys' honest opinions! How often is too often to get a babysitter? When is it too much to consider a person a bad parent? Please don't hold back, I want all honesty here.

HcoBrunette06

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Joined: 06 Dec 2005
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Posted: 10-22-07 23:08pm


I don't think this makes you a bad person AT ALL. You're a mommy, but you're with her ALL THE TIME, you're allowed to have alone time, too! I have a friend who goes out every single weekend, and a lot during the week too. She NEVER has her daughter, literally. She lets just anyone and everyone take her so she can go out and get drunk and high, it's horrible and disgusting. You are everything but a bad mommy!

OctoberBaby06

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Posted: 10-22-07 23:12pm


Oh yeah & I forgot to say I'm a stay at home mom so I'm with Kaylee 24/7 already. Thanks Terra! It seems like my family will do anything to try bringing me down & they keep badmouthing me as a mother & it's just starting to get to me. A girl can only take so much!!

HcoBrunette06

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Posted: 10-22-07 23:18pm


I totally understand, I'm sorry they're like that =( just keep reminding yourself that you're an amazing mama. You are with her 24/7 and you deserve to have a break every once in a while. It's not like she's gone all day every single weekend, it's just a few hours to yourself every week, we love you Michelle and you know you're a good mama!

Sandbox Party

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Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 7276

Posted: 10-22-07 23:27pm


exactly. so lets do the math... since ur a stay at home mom.. thats... 24x7=168 hours a week. minus... maybe 18 hours.. (im assuming from 6pm-11am the next day when they take her Friday nights.) so thats 150 hours.. so u spend 150 out of 168 hours a week with her. Thats 89.3% of the time. I think thats a lot more time than a lot of moms spend with their kids. Just ignore them.. they're just jealous cuz they cant spend all that time with you.

OctoberBaby06

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Posted: 10-23-07 09:07am


Thanks Terry & Sandy .. You're both making me feel better about all of this. I don't know what it is about my family & always having something negative to say. Anything else they complain about I can usually brush off & forget about it, but when it comes to them judging my parenting .. It hurts!

Marianne0558

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Posted: 10-23-07 09:32am


If I could find a babysitter for one day a week, I would! That doesn't make you a bad mother at all.... it makes you able to function. Able to keep your sanity. Able to be a normal person (aside from being a mother). Able to get a break!!! I want one. I'm green with envy now

SamanthaM

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Joined: 15 Dec 2005
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Location: Mishawaka, Indiana

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Posted: 10-23-07 09:39am


That is not even a lot. Trust me, I know being a stay at home mom can drive you crazy if you don't get breaks every once in a while. Jon and I usually only go out once every two weeks and it is definitely not enough. Jon's mom and sister will watch them over night sometimes, but only every couple months. Being around them 24/7 can be very stressful. Don't worry about what anyone says, you are a good mother. Needing a break makes you a normal person not a bad mother.

mamaTT

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Posted: 10-23-07 10:09am


I think a break makes you a better mother. You are able to get away from the child(ren) for a little while and regroup. My daughter is only 9.5 weeks old, and we have only gotten a babysitter a couple of times, but that was so we could go see my husband's grandmother in the hospital. She stayed overnight with my grandmother the other time, and it just about killed me. I was ready to go get her about 15 minutes after we dropped her off. I'm not a sahm though, so I'm sure that makes a big difference.

Mommy35

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Joined: 23 Sep 2006
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Location: Vacationland, USA,

Posted: 10-23-07 11:32am


If you worked outside the home and Kaylee spent a lot of time with a sitter during the week and then you had her go to spend the night with someone on the weekends too, that might be excessive, but IMO you are with her all week and you deserve a break. Your a good mom and that is hard work. Don't let people pass their values or opinions on you.

AyaMiyaki

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Posted: 10-23-07 11:35am


Think about it for a minute. If you worked a 9-5 job Monday through Friday, wouldn't you expect to get a day or two off a week? You work a 24 hour job - of course you deserve a day or two off! You'll go nuts if you don't get a break.

yellow ribbon

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Joined: 07 Dec 2005
Posts: 5554
Location: FL

Posted: 10-23-07 13:11pm


omg i wish i could get one night a week! i think its totally fine she goes to a grandmas house, they request to have her so they can see her n call it "mommy daddy time" lol u know they just really want to see her and spoil her and its a great thing! dont let other peoples negativity get you down!

Dannzibelle

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Posted: 10-23-07 13:15pm


You deserve a break. Looking after a house and baby isn't easy. Don't let people bring you down you know you're a good mum and you look after your angel so so so well so therefore you deserve a little time to yourself

ladylee70

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Posted: 10-23-07 13:24pm


Honestly, you are doing great! don't even listen to those people. You are so lucky you have family to watch her. I believe that having time without child(ren) is extremely important in a relationship!! Good for you!! I hope I can find something like that.

Ingi

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Posted: 10-23-07 13:27pm


I think your family members who are saying this are jealous of your free time. Just a theory though. I could be wrong.

Sandbox Party

Especially EHEALTHy

Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 7276

Posted: 10-23-07 13:28pm

AyaMiyaki wrote:

Think about it for a minute. If you worked a 9-5 job Monday through Friday, wouldn't you expect to get a day or two off a week? You work a 24 hour job - of course you deserve a day or two off! You'll go nuts if you don't get a break.

seriously..

i can attest to that.

OctoberBaby06

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Posted: 10-23-07 13:33pm


Thank you all so much for your responses. I don't know why I let them get to me. I know I'm a good mom. I'm not perfect by any means but I do my absolute best. I never saw a problem with having one night a week babyless until my family started speaking up about it. Everything you all said is so true. Sandy & Laura, I never even thought about it like that! Thanks again..