I don't even know where to begin.I have a
boyfriend of 7 months.He broke up with me
a awhile back ago.It hurt me so bad
because im so in love with him.The reason
why he broke up with me is because he said
he wasn't happy anymore because of all of
this bad stuff that happened to him in the
past and he said that he didn't feel like
he was good enough for me.Well we were
only broken up for 3 weeks.The time we
were broken up I was always there for him
even though he kept pushing me away and
was mean to me.Which wasn't like him
because he is not a mean person at all.So
I was patient with him and one day he asks
me back out because he said I make him
happy and it was dumb in the first place
for him to break up with me he said.Of
course I said yes and everything was good
for awhile.But lately I think he isn't
happy with me anymore.Im always asking
whats wrong and he says nothing but I
think he is just pretending to be
happy.The reason I think that is because
he has lied to me in the past about him
being happy with me when he really
wasn't.He said he didn't want to tell me
because he didn't want to hurt me.Well
nothing has been the same since we have
gotten back together he acts differently
than when were first going out.Im always
afraid that he is going to break up with
me again since he did it the first time.
Another problem is he is always so busy
with his school work he never has time for
me anymore.I understand that he wants to
get an education and im very patient with
him.But I only get to talk to him like 20
min every day.When he isn't studying he is
either spending time with his family or
his friends.Whenever I see him he is
studying the whole time.I feel like im his
last priority.Whenever I try and tell him
about this he says that I don't
understand.He is always telling me that I
deserve better than him.I just feel like
he is taking me for granted.It's just not
him that doesn't have time for me all of
my ex's in my past have been too busy for
me with either school or work.I don't ask
for much but a little of his time would be
nice.Does that make me selfish?
Whenever I try and talk about my problems
we always end up talking about his
problems.I tell him that and he says that
is what everyone tells him.I feel like
when it times to talk about his problems
or when he calls me crying im always here
for him.But when I call him crying he just
acts cold like he doesn't care.Im just
really upset about all of this and need
advice on the whole thing.I don't want to
break up with him because I love him too
much and in my heart I know he is the one
for me.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 10-24-07 14:33pm
sounds like this is a no no reltaionship
he needs help fixing himself and in the
meantime he doesnt care about how you
feel
only how he feels
best advice i can give you: cut him off
cold turkey. dont call him
dont answer for him
stop it all
the end
im telling you this from expierience
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1172 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:12
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Posted: 10-24-07 17:35pm
If you don't want to break up with him
then I hope you relationship is much more
than it sounds. I agree with girlfreind.
This sounds like no relationship at all.
AND it seems awfully one sided. Are you
sure this kinda guy is the one for you?
You should probably think things through a
little more and ask yourself if this is
really your idea of a relationship. From
what it looks like, I'd say no. Cut him
off and move on.
BUT since I know sometimes its easier said
than done. I'll give this guy probably
more than he deserves and give you an
alternative to try out. When my schedule
gets tight, I use my sloppy but effective
time managment skills and work time out
for my boyfriend and that seems to work
well. Set some time aside just for
eachother every day. Work together on this
so he can't say no to it. Don't settle for
anything less than an hour a day though.
Although it would be helpful to know how
old you were, high school relationships in
my opinion can be a little more flexible
in day by day stuff.
There's really now way he can argue with
you saying "We're dating, I want to see
more of you. Can we work together and set
some time aside for eachother" And good
lord if he does then you need to end that!
Right now you could be searching for a guy
you really deserve! And trust me, when you
meet "the one" you will NEVER have to ask
for time together. It will just happen
that way, because you love eachother and
want to be together.
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blondie_899
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2007 Posts: 62
Posted: 10-24-07 19:06pm
Im 18 I just graduated high school. He is
20 and in college. He is a full time
college student. I feel like he doesn't
like talking to me like it's a chore for
him or something. Whenever he doesn't have
as much school work he is always like
after 5 min of talking to me on the phone
"well I have to go and talk to my
dad","well I have to go and eat and watch
the news" and it's always like 1-2 hours
later he calls back.I feel bad bringing it
up to him because I know he has alot of
school work to do.I don't know in every
relationship I have been in I feel like im
always a burden to that person and that no
guys had ever had time for me.I would do
anything for my boyfriend and since I am
so nice and I let things slide I feel like
im always getting run over or taken for
granted.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 10-24-07 19:07pm
blondie_899
wrote:
Im 18 I just graduated high
school. He is 20 and in college. He is a
full time college student. I feel like he
doesn't like talking to me like it's a
chore for him or something. Whenever he
doesn't have as much school work he is
always like after 5 min of talking to me
on the phone "well I have to go and talk
to my dad","well I have to go and eat and
watch the news" and it's always like 1-2
hours later he calls back.I feel bad
bringing it up to him because I know he
has alot of school work to do.I don't know
in every relationship I have been in I
feel like im always a burden to that
person and that no guys had ever had time
for me.I would do anything for my
boyfriend and since I am so nice and I let
things slide I feel like im always getting
run over or taken for
granted.
i used to get run over too
ended up suffering for MY mistakes
dont sit around and wait for him to
"change"
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Makoto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Jul 2006 Posts: 263 Location: Japan
Posted: 10-25-07 09:07am
""I don't know in every relationship I
have been in I feel like im always a
burden to that person and that no guys had
ever had time for me""
I think that you might be wanting too much
time. He is in college and studying, he
might not have time for you, not in the
way you want. Do you think that he should
put you before friends and family? So...
if he is not studying, he should be giving
you time first? Is that what you expect?
If so, why do you feel you have the right
to expect such things?
If you feel that it is not just this BF
but others in the past as well, then maybe
it is you who has an issue. Just relax and
try not to be too time demanding.
Actually, It does sound like to me you are
expecting too much of your BFs time.
Talking to him 20 minutes a day, is more
than enough when he is busy. Sure, just an
email or text message should be enough.
There is no need to be calling and
expecting a converstaion every day. To me
that is just too needy. You should even be
able to go a day with any communication.
You need to back off a bit IMO.
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1172 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:12
online
Posted: 10-25-07 09:57am
I think she is expecting more because
she's in a relationship with him.
20 minutes a day? I'm pretty independent
and even I wouldn't be satisfied with
that. I'm a full time college student, a
student athlete and I am in a club for my
major, yet I still find time to talk to my
bf daily. What’s wrong with asking your
partner to set aside time at the end of
the day and talk? I look forward to
talking about my day with my bf and when
we have to skip a day I feel like I've
missed out. Nothing is wrong with that.
And my boyfriend would laugh if anyone
considered me needy.
And he's not just putting family and
friends in front of her, but things like
watching the news too. And after seven
months I would want to rank up with the
family and friends.
You're still young and a lot of times
people are still trying to figure out just
what they want in relationships which is
why in high school it’s really easy to
be too needy. Learn what you can from past
relationships, then leave them in the
past. You know what you want so I think
you should find a guy who looking for a
real relationship and is on the same level
as you because this guy clearly is not.
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young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 10-25-07 11:57am
Maddie34
wrote:
I think she is expecting
more because she's in a relationship with
him.
20 minutes a day? I'm pretty independent
and even I wouldn't be satisfied with
that. I'm a full time college student, a
student athlete and I am in a club for my
major, yet I still find time to talk to my
bf daily. What’s wrong with asking your
partner to set aside time at the end of
the day and talk? I look forward to
talking about my day with my bf and when
we have to skip a day I feel like I've
missed out. Nothing is wrong with that.
And my boyfriend would laugh if anyone
considered me needy.
And he's not just putting family and
friends in front of her, but things like
watching the news too. And after seven
months I would want to rank up with the
family and friends.
You're still young and a lot of times
people are still trying to figure out just
what they want in relationships which is
why in high school it’s really easy to
be too needy. Learn what you can from past
relationships, then leave them in the
past. You know what you want so I think
you should find a guy who looking for a
real relationship and is on the same level
as you because this guy clearly is
not.
very well put!
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Maddie34
Supporter
Joined: 06 Oct 2007 Posts: 1172 Location: ,
Thanks: 43
Thanked:12
online
Posted: 10-25-07 12:16pm
thanks
I just wish that following through with
advice was as easy as giving it.
Good luck blondie! We'll be here if you
need anything else.
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blondie_899
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2007 Posts: 62
Posted: 10-25-07 12:31pm
Thanks everyone for the advice. I had a
long talk with my boyfriend and we fixed
alot of things. So we will see how it
goes. If he continues to do the same
things then I will not put up with it. I
will keep you guys posted if anything else
happens.
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