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LadyKitten

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Boyfriend Masturbates Alot - Should I be concerned ? Posted: 10-25-07 10:29am


My boyfriend and I just recently moved in together and I've noticed he masturbates a lot. We do have a very active sex life together, but I can't help but to be jealous or wonder if I'm boring. He has to use porn videos to do masturbate and I'd say 40% of his laptop memory is all porn videos (over 100 different vids). In his past relationships he's done a lot of things that I don't want to try (3 somes, anal, etc) but he says that he doesn't care for that stuff anymore and that he masturbates because sometimes he just needs a 30 second quickie. Sometimes he'll do it once, go wash off, and then do it again right after. The only reason I know is because I'll be in the bedroom reading and I can hear him. Should I be concerned?

blondie_899

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Posted: 10-25-07 18:02pm


Well it's normal for guys to masturbate some guys do it and some guys don't.Just because he masturbates doesn't mean he finds you boring or anything.Alot of guys don't have a really good imagination so they have to look at porn.If you are that worried then talk to him about it.

Maddie34

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Posted: 10-25-07 21:24pm


The only time I would worry is if the masterbating was cutting in on my sex time. Porn isn't too big of deal to me. There is even a thread in the women's chat if you want to look it over: http://ehealthfo rum.com/health/topic112565.html They seemed to have the subject pretty much covered. But like blondie said, whenever something really bothers you just talk about it.

peter peters

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Posted: 10-26-07 22:14pm


You say you have an active sex life together so no probs. there. The only thing I suggest is that you discuss with him , Why the secrecy? Does he feel guilty? No need to feel that way. One improvement in your situation would be for you to either help him with a quick hand job or put away your boring book and join him. Masturbating together IS a turn on.

LCJ001

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Posted: 10-28-07 09:22am


I am a guy and I don't think its a very good idea for him to masturbate a lot when he has a girlfriend, especially if she lives with him. Its doesn't really affect in anyway, but it just doesn't sound right. You are saying that you're starting to get jealous, so if I was in your place I would get a vibrater or a dildo bigger than his penis, and you start doing the same masturbate but you make sure he knows, at first he might get excited, but eventually he would get jealous too. I know this doesn't sound right, but he's choosing porn and masturbating over you which isn't right neither so its up to you. Another thing you can do is simply talk to him about it and tell him how you feel, but I wouldn't gaurntee that this would work.

Maddie34

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Posted: 10-28-07 12:52pm


Revenge by masturbation? Odd... You may as well just masturbate together if you are going to do that. No jealously involved. I'd think that would get just as good results if not better in terms of him masturbating alone to porn.

Georgia59

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Posted: 10-28-07 20:41pm


You don't need to be concerned, it's not really a problem. If it bothers you, ask him about it, try and get involved. If you hear him watching a video, take off your clothes and march in there naked, sit on the computer desk, something like that. Give him a hand... lol..... It's not really a problem unless he masturbates so much that it's getting in the way of his real life.

LadyKitten

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Posted: 10-29-07 07:10am


Wow. I've never heard of anyone getting revenge by masturbation. I think you're all right though. It's just something he needs to do occasionally. I mean, I do masturbate using vibrators, and I've told him that. There's no problem. Maybe it's just me. I feel kinda greedy when it comes to sex and stuff. I know it's bad, but I'm trying to stop it. It's almost like a part of me doesn't want him to masturbate, but thinks that I should be allowed to. I know it's wrong, and I'm getting over it. It's just really my first time living with a boyfriend. I know all my other boyfriend's masturbated, I even knew he did often before we moved in together. I think it's just easier not to think about it when they're not around you all the time. Oh well, we both enjoy sex together and that's all that matters. Thanks for your tips.

Georgia59

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Posted: 10-29-07 08:48am


As long as you're happy with your sex life and he isn't really replacing you with masturbating, you're fine in my opinion.

BuildABetterLife

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Posted: 10-29-07 18:07pm


You don't need to be emotionally concerned unless it's disrupting the sex, then there is a problem. However, if he masturbates too frequently (more than 3 times a week) without replenishing himself or allowing time for recovery, the quality of the sex you have with him will diminish drastically and he can even hurt or bruise himself. Don't believe me? Look how many posts are in the "premature ejaculation" thread above. I GUARANTEE YOU that all of those guys masturbate too often and don't take care of themselves enough to recuperate from it. Sex educators say "masturbate all you want! it's harmless!" but this is a lie, because masturbation, and sex in general, require an ENORMOUS amount of energy and nutrients.

Mikolas

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Posted: 10-30-07 00:32am


Why not try mutual masturbating? Try to have him find some porn that could turn you both on and try it out together. Might take your relationship with him on a comfort level to something much better instead of you being concerned half the time. Revenge via masturbation might not make things better, he might just get jealous or something and then all of a sudden you two might have unnecessary drama about you liking your toy better vs him liking his hand better or something. So instead of versing him, join him =) Just a thought

dudehope

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Re: Boyfriend Masturbates Alot - Should I Be Concerned ?
Posted: 10-30-07 07:39am

LadyKitten wrote:

My boyfriend and I just recently moved in together and I've noticed he masturbates a lot. We do have a very active sex life together, but I can't help but to be jealous or wonder if I'm boring. He has to use porn videos to do masturbate and I'd say 40% of his laptop memory is all porn videos (over 100 different vids). In his past relationships he's done a lot of things that I don't want to try (3 somes, anal, etc) but he says that he doesn't care for that stuff anymore and that he masturbates because sometimes he just needs a 30 second quickie. Sometimes he'll do it once, go wash off, and then do it again right after. The only reason I know is because I'll be in the bedroom reading and I can hear him.

Should I be concerned?

maybe he loves his palm than you just kidding... try to give him more pleasure or you can handjob him for much better

Lico

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Posted: 11-04-07 15:13pm


It is very normal for a guy to masterbate....And you shouldn't feel guilty if he is masterbating because it is a healthy thing to do. I suggest that you should just join one another and help him out. By doing it together, it could possibly spice up your relationship alittle. Sometimes guys just try to relax by doing a quickie to help relieve stress or frustrations from the day. Also if he is more sexually open like with anal or threesomes, maybe you should talk to him and see what can spice it up.. For instance role playing or something.....

peter peters

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Boyfriened Masturbates Too Much Posted: 11-05-07 02:20am


My reply is to "BuildABetterLife". You must be joking to suggest that masturbating more than three times a week causes bruising, can hurt also can cause premature ejaculation. Wow! what planet do you live on? As several replies have said the ONLY thing with the b/f "problem" is that he does it in secret and thus possibly feels guilty about it. On occassions I personally have masturbated many more times than three a week, more than three times a day for many weeks and I can assure you that I don't feel guilty, nor sore and i definatly have NO premature ejaculation problems, my sex drive is great and I share a very active sex life with a long term lady.

Georgia59

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Posted: 11-05-07 10:02am


As long as you're physically fit, masturbating shouldn't take so much energy out of you that you can't manage to muster up the energy for sex.

Boyfriend Masturbates Alot - Should I be concerned ?