Pregnant but no Relationship w/Father of Child Posted: 10-26-07 10:19am
Hi, my name is Violet and I'm pregnant.
I'm 26yrs old and I have a good job. I am
very independent and responsible but 'I'm
having trouble deciding what I'm going to
do about my pregnancy...
I had been seeing an old friend(we were
together for about a year in the past) for
about a month. He was the type to say he'd
call and then not. He's like two different
people...when we are together it's great
but then he'll just act like an ass to
me..like not call...etc. I questioned him
about what is is that we were doing and he
said that he wasn't ready for a
relationship but that he liked spending
time with me. I eventually got fed up with
all the mixed signals and ended the
relationship.
But now I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how far
along. Still very early...we had sex on
Oct 13. I've gone to the doctor...had the
pregnancy confirmed. The doc asked what I
wanted to do...either have the baby or
abort...I told him that I wasn't sure...so
he said I have until week 12 to have an
abortion.
I wan to tell the father but he is gone
away for work and I have NO WAY of
reaching him. He will be back in town in
about 4 wks. I'm sure he will want me to
have an abortion. When I broke things off
with him (through e-mail, cause I
couldn't reach him) I said it was b/c I
cared about him but he obviously didn't
care about or respect me. He never emailed
me back.
I've told my sister and she has given me
the impression that she would have an
abortion. She hasn't come out and said it
but has hinted.
I NEVER wanted to be in this
situation-pregnant without a relationship
but here I am all the same. So...I should
have an abortion right? I mean is it wrong
to bring a baby into the world that
doesn't have two loving parents to take
care of it? On the other hand... I have a
good job (I'm not financially sound but
make a good paycheck). I am a very loving
person that would rock being a mom. I'm
not a young teenager...I'm a responsible
adult. And I don't want to look back and
regret not having the baby.
I don't know what's the right choice?! I'm
sooo confused.
I will NEVER give my baby up for
adoption...it's not even an option. So
that leaves me with two choices...abort or
deliver...and I feel like I wan tto have
the baby but there are soo many
unknowns...will the father actually want
to be a father, will I be able to support
the baby on my own, what is the RIGHT
thing to do????
I'm going to have to wait to see what he
says...but right now I'm leaning towards
having it...even though I have no idea if
it's the right thing for the baby?
ANY AND ALL THOUGHTS/COMMENTS ARE WELCOME
AND APPRECIATED
thank you,
Violet
|
Becky
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Jan 2006 Posts: 6224 Location: London, England
Thanks: 0
Thanked:7
Posted: 10-26-07 10:26am
Hi there, I just want to say welcome.
I know you have a major dilemma right now
and it's hard to make a decision. First
off, the babies dad sounds like a complete
loser. He is obviously very selfish as a
boyfriend/lover- but that doesn't mean he
wouldn't be a good dad.
I was married to my kids daddy and we
broke up a year ago. I was facing life as
a single mum but i met a great guy and we
are very happy together.
It sounds to me like you want this baby. I
am pro-choice and have nothing against
abortion but you seem to be having many
doubts and you may regret an abortion.
Do what is best for YOU. Have you thought
of being a single mum? Do you think you
can do it? I think you need to sit down
and really think about this and not listen
to other people- it is your body and your
baby.
The Dad has a right to know. Even if he
doesn't want to be involved he should
still know that you are pregnant. If you
do decide to have the baby then he will
have to pay maintenence
Re: Pregnant But No Relationship W/father of Child Posted: 11-27-07 01:15am
mel61
wrote:
Hi, my name is Violet and
I'm pregnant. I'm 26yrs old and I have a
good job. I am very independent and
responsible but 'I'm having trouble
deciding what I'm going to do about my
pregnancy...
I had been seeing an old friend(we were
together for about a year in the past) for
about a month. He was the type to say he'd
call and then not. He's like two different
people...when we are together it's great
but then he'll just act like an ass to
me..like not call...etc. I questioned him
about what is is that we were doing and he
said that he wasn't ready for a
relationship but that he liked spending
time with me. I eventually got fed up with
all the mixed signals and ended the
relationship.
But now I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how far
along. Still very early...we had sex on
Oct 13. I've gone to the doctor...had the
pregnancy confirmed. The doc asked what I
wanted to do...either have the baby or
abort...I told him that I wasn't sure...so
he said I have until week 12 to have an
abortion.
I wan to tell the father but he is gone
away for work and I have NO WAY of
reaching him. He will be back in town in
about 4 wks. I'm sure he will want me to
have an abortion. When I broke things off
with him (through e-mail, cause I
couldn't reach him) I said it was b/c I
cared about him but he obviously didn't
care about or respect me. He never emailed
me back.
I've told my sister and she has given me
the impression that she would have an
abortion. She hasn't come out and said it
but has hinted.
I NEVER wanted to be in this
situation-pregnant without a relationship
but here I am all the same. So...I should
have an abortion right? I mean is it wrong
to bring a baby into the world that
doesn't have two loving parents to take
care of it? On the other hand... I have a
good job (I'm not financially sound but
make a good paycheck). I am a very loving
person that would rock being a mom. I'm
not a young teenager...I'm a responsible
adult. And I don't want to look back and
regret not having the baby.
I don't know what's the right choice?! I'm
sooo confused.
I will NEVER give my baby up for
adoption...it's not even an option. So
that leaves me with two choices...abort or
deliver...and I feel like I wan tto have
the baby but there are soo many
unknowns...will the father actually want
to be a father, will I be able to support
the baby on my own, what is the RIGHT
thing to do????
I'm going to have to wait to see what he
says...but right now I'm leaning towards
having it...even though I have no idea if
it's the right thing for the baby?
ANY AND ALL THOUGHTS/COMMENTS ARE WELCOME
AND APPRECIATED
thank you,
Violet
PLEASE don't get an abortion. I wanted to
get one done but after I got my 4d
ultrasound and saw my daughter sucking her
thumb, I couldnt have even imagined that I
would have killed my daughter. Go to the
site Klanned Parenthood if you want to see
the truths on abortion, its sicker then
the nazis I think. The tools, the methods,
the baby suffering... its horrible. Some
babies get burned from the process and
others get torn out of you piece by piece,
some have their heads smashed for easier
delivery.You say you have a good job and
are responsible, you could so raise a
child then! I would have had to live off
state funding if I diddnt have my bf
because I had no job when I got pregnant
and no goals. Just because a baby may look
like only a blob in the early weeks of
pregnancy dosnt mean they dont have a
soul! Imagine asking that soul 10 years
from now if they wanted to live or die...
chances are that baby would want to live!
If being a mom dosnt seem it would work
for you, please consider adoption to a
adoption place or out to family.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Posted: 11-27-07 01:29am
hunney you do what YOU feel is best for
the child and your life
children are a big responsability, alot of
money and work and you will have to devote
your loife to them. its not up to us to
tell you whats right or wrong
if YOU want an abortion thats YOUR choice
and you have the right to that
just like you have the right to keep youir
child
\it will be a long hard road and you will
have alot of thinking to do. my suggestion
would be to keep your options open and
dont let ANYONE tell YOU whats right or
wrong. this is YOUR BABY
YOUR BODY
YOUR LIFE
and YOu can do what YOU have to do for you
and this child.
|
young Girl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Jun 2007 Posts: 13932 Location: everythings better in, texas USA
Re: Pregnant But No Relationship W/father of Child Posted: 11-27-07 01:31am
newmommy07
wrote:
mel61
wrote:
Hi, my name is Violet and
I'm pregnant. I'm 26yrs old and I have a
good job. I am very independent and
responsible but 'I'm having trouble
deciding what I'm going to do about my
pregnancy...
I had been seeing an old friend(we were
together for about a year in the past) for
about a month. He was the type to say he'd
call and then not. He's like two different
people...when we are together it's great
but then he'll just act like an ass to
me..like not call...etc. I questioned him
about what is is that we were doing and he
said that he wasn't ready for a
relationship but that he liked spending
time with me. I eventually got fed up with
all the mixed signals and ended the
relationship.
But now I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how far
along. Still very early...we had sex on
Oct 13. I've gone to the doctor...had the
pregnancy confirmed. The doc asked what I
wanted to do...either have the baby or
abort...I told him that I wasn't sure...so
he said I have until week 12 to have an
abortion.
I wan to tell the father but he is gone
away for work and I have NO WAY of
reaching him. He will be back in town in
about 4 wks. I'm sure he will want me to
have an abortion. When I broke things off
with him (through e-mail, cause I
couldn't reach him) I said it was b/c I
cared about him but he obviously didn't
care about or respect me. He never emailed
me back.
I've told my sister and she has given me
the impression that she would have an
abortion. She hasn't come out and said it
but has hinted.
I NEVER wanted to be in this
situation-pregnant without a relationship
but here I am all the same. So...I should
have an abortion right? I mean is it wrong
to bring a baby into the world that
doesn't have two loving parents to take
care of it? On the other hand... I have a
good job (I'm not financially sound but
make a good paycheck). I am a very loving
person that would rock being a mom. I'm
not a young teenager...I'm a responsible
adult. And I don't want to look back and
regret not having the baby.
I don't know what's the right choice?! I'm
sooo confused.
I will NEVER give my baby up for
adoption...it's not even an option. So
that leaves me with two choices...abort or
deliver...and I feel like I wan tto have
the baby but there are soo many
unknowns...will the father actually want
to be a father, will I be able to support
the baby on my own, what is the RIGHT
thing to do????
I'm going to have to wait to see what he
says...but right now I'm leaning towards
having it...even though I have no idea if
it's the right thing for the baby?
ANY AND ALL THOUGHTS/COMMENTS ARE WELCOME
AND APPRECIATED
thank you,
Violet
PLEASE don't get an abortion. I wanted to
get one done but after I got my 4d
ultrasound and saw my daughter sucking her
thumb, I couldnt have even imagined that I
would have killed my daughter. Go to the
site Klanned Parenthood if you want to see
the truths on abortion, its sicker then
the nazis I think. The tools, the methods,
the baby suffering... its horrible. Some
babies get burned from the process and
others get torn out of you piece by piece,
some have their heads smashed for easier
delivery.You say you have a good job and
are responsible, you could so raise a
child then! I would have had to live off
state funding if I diddnt have my bf
because I had no job when I got pregnant
and no goals. Just because a baby may look
like only a blob in the early weeks of
pregnancy dosnt mean they dont have a
soul! Imagine asking that soul 10 years
from now if they wanted to live or die...
chances are that baby would want to live!
If being a mom dosnt seem it would work
for you, please consider adoption to a
adoption place or out to
family.
it takes ALOT more than a good job and
being responsible to raise a child
and lets keep this not about debateing
weather abortion is right or wrong she
does not need to hear that
this is her choice and if shed like to
abort then so be it. if thats whats in
best intrest for HER and HER LIFE then its
not any of us to judge or try and make her
feel bad
sdo please refrain from doing that!
